Update On Our Grandson

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by mom_to_3, Sep 27, 2008.

  1. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    It's been awhile since I wrote here, so I thought I would update. Our grandson has been in our care since June of this year and I'm happy to say that many of our beginning "issue's" have for the most part been resolved. :) Of course he's still a 4 yr. old boy and behaves accordingly, but he has had such a tremendous turn around! I'm so very pleased and proud of him! Probably the biggest contributors to his success has been the addition and correct dose of Adderall and stability, structure, guidance and lot's of love. His blood sugar is under control with out insulin and we don't even monitor his food other than to provide decent and regular meals, snacks and desserts. This from a boy that used to sneak food and was known to eat 1/2 a loaf of bread during the night. I find it very interesting that when offered applesauce or a pudding cup after dinner, he will always chose the applesauce!

    I took him to the mall with me last night and he was really a dream, for a 4 yr. old. He held my hand the entire time, didn't cry, whine or beg or stall! I did praise him on occasion and said to him, I bet all the people here are looking at you and are thinking " LOOK AT THAT GOOD BOY WALKING WITH HIS GRANDMA" He puffed up with pride, and looking straight ahead asked me "Is anyone looking at me?" Haha!

    I have been working on his lying and we're making progress there too. He will still fib to me on occasion, but when I remind him that we don't lie in my house, he'll come clean and spill his guts. The key to this, is to praise the truth telling and then to keep a rational head in regards to the "naughty deed".

    He rides the bus to school in the mornings and can and does get up, make his bed, brush his teeth, get dressed, etc. and is ready to get out the door in 30 min., usually with a good attitude. I give him a sticker each morning he gets busy and is ready to go quickly, with a good attitude. Attitude is everything, you know and he loves those stickers. He goes to pre-k so all of the children eat breakfast together after they get to school. He has had a green card for behavior, every day at school. He has an absolutely excellent teacher, very structured, is very loving and very fun.

    His parents have been interesting tho. His mom, our difficult child, only see's him once a week and pretty much calls him once a week. When she's seeing him or talking to him, she looooves him so much! She has paid us her portion of the child support regularly and on time. Our relationship is still strained and she certainly doesn't appear to be appreciative of the fact that we are taking care of her son. She still tries to push the limit and bring her riff raff friends to our home. Today, she asked if she could bring her newest boyfriend to meet our grandson. Ummmmmmmmm NO! She goes thru boyfriends pretty quickly, so there is really no need in my opinion. She told me they were getting serious and may get married and she thought that my husband and I would want to meet him. Ummmmmmmm NO! I told her to run it by the CPS worker and see what she thinks. Our grandson has had more mothers, fathers, grandma's, and aunt's and uncle's than ANYONE I've EVER known.

    His father.......... is two months late paying his child support. He called yesterday wanting our address???? so that he could mail us a check. It would appear that he is trying to play catch up seeing as though there is a court hearing in just 13 more days. The judge will not be happy with him for that, seeing as though he DID court order them to pay us. We've heard the excuse from his girlfriend that.... get ready for this.......... she accidently did a gas drive off, (didn't pay for her gas) so she had to use the child support money to pay for that. And the next month, bio dad's job short changed his paycheck by $100!!! Can you believe that? Our grandson's father has called his son exactly twice in 3 months time. He has seen him once a week in that time period. He used to come to our house for visitation until one day, he became very angry at difficult child and began yelling and cussing up a storm in our driveway. It was quite the scene. I told him that he was no longer welcome at my home - ever. I will never live that way again. Now he goes to the school for his visitation. I don't think the judge will be very happy to hear about this either.

    I know they all have to go to therapy, take parenting classes, and the dad has to take anger management classes. They have other things they are supposed to be doing, but I am not privy to all of it.

    I will be curious to see what happens in court. I really do hope that our difficult child and our grandson's bio dad do get their act together. I hope that during this time some maturing and good changes are happening or will happen. Ultimately, a child belongs with his parents. If those parents are willing and able to rise to the occasion. I pray for everyone's sake that they do that. The CPS caseworker does not see our grandson going home by the end of this year.
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    :thumbsup: Way to go! It's really nice to hear such an uplifting update. I'm glad that you are all doing so well. I hope that things will smooth out in court next week.

    Keep up the good work!
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    What a fantastic update!!! :D You should be very proud of grandson. He sounds like quite the lil man! You are doing a wonderful job. I'm also hoping the parents get their priorities straight and do what needs to be done to be able to parent this child. But in the meantime, he is very fortunate to have such caring, loving grandparents watching out for him.

  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    That is just too dear for words.

    It's too bad the parents don't seem to be growing up at the same rate as their 4 year old son. You are a true blessing in his life. Thanks for so such a positive update.

  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Such an awesome update. You are truly a Warrior Gma!! Isn't it amazing what providing structure and guidance and love can do for a child? medications are often needed, but can be minimized if the other things are there. A lucky boy to have you and Gpa in his life, and you are right to be so proud of him.

    I hope that his parents at some point grow up.
    many hugs!!!
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I had been thinking about you! Great update. Your grandson sounds just darling.
  7. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    Thanks guys, he is a sweetie. I *thought* he was having a great night last night. Of course I bragged on here about him and to my youngest daughter too, who is still living at home.

    Well, she had to leave early this morning for a meeting but was sure to leave me a note. It said: Maybe I'm crazy, but I thought you said Aiden was really good last night. Which part was good, my fish food being emptied out completely or a **** load of toilet paper in my toilet? Definitely like the murky water in the tank. I think it gives it some extra decor. I have an employee meeting at 8:00a.m. then I work from 12-5. I'll be home for dinner, and for Aiden to help clean up his mess in my fish tank. Oh me oh my...... Wow.

    I don't think she's too happy do you?

    Our grandson had an issue before he came here of not staying in his bed and prowling at night. We put a motion detector alarm right outside his bedroom so that we knew if he was up and about. We have a swimming pool and didn't want an accident. We actually had two alarms set up just to be sure. Two weeks ago, we stopped using the alarm right at his bedroom door because he had done so well. Last night after I put him to bed, he also decided, at 4 yrs. old that he should get on the desktop computer in that bedroom and play at the Disney site. Little bugger! He knows how to plug it in and turn it on. The only sites on the monitor are Disney and Nickelodeon, at least until he gets smart enough to find other sites. My husband heard the computer at 11 p.m. when he was going to bed.

    So no, we're still don't have it all together, but we're getting there.
  8. judi

    judi Active Member

    How adorable!
  9. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    :bravo:What a good update. He sounds adorable and growing up.


    It's an ugly thing to watch adult children ignore their responsibilities. I'm sure it's difficult for you to see and hear it. It's wonderful that you and your husband have stepped up.
  10. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    I think you are doing wonders with your grandson! Your example, influence, and especially your love and caring are making a big difference. My hat's off to you.
  11. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    What a happy update! It sounds like he is happy and thriving and making great strides. You are doing a wonderful job!
  12. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Even with some of the mischeivious stuff he did last night he's still come a long way. Most of those things are just regulary boy stuff.
    I'm so glad to see he is doing so well.

    So, do you have permanent custody? If his parents get it together can they get him back?