Update on son ..


Wowieeeeee - my first "time out" . My son went out without me; with my parents, who live in a wing of my home; to the foot Dr, to take off my moms shoes and socks because she (my mom) can't, and my dad is 90 and he needs a break in life too ! That boy is in for some grotesque sights lol - my mom has the fugliest feet this side of the Mississippi - what a son lol -
He is kind, compassionate, sweet, soft spoken, funnier than many comedians, loving, considerate, good looking, thoughtful and forgiving to name a few - he just happens to be a mental drug addict felon.

Today is 2 weeks that I rescued him and it has been a fabulous two weeks. We go to AA meetings and church all week long. We only had one small issue, heck, as I'm typing I forget what it even was; ummmm, dang, I just looked out the window for a while and I still can't think of what it was. I DO know it involved my husband, who got mad at him, oh well, doesn't matter, it was mild, that much I CAN say. My husband also needs to work on himself, A LOT.
He/son has been sober now for 25 days; zero cravings, and hasn't been out of my sight since I bailed him out of jail. In fact, my dad just said to him, upon learning that son was going to accompany him to the foot Dr, as a 90 year old to a 35 year old, "you're not going to go roaming around town while I take your nani to the Dr" , my son will not leave their sight, I believe him, and told him if he even thinks about it, then do not come back to this house; go sleep under the RR bridge with your friend. I didn't need to say that but I did want to make it clear, this IS the last time I step in. I am keeping him until he either goes to jail or rehab. I'm confident the judge is going to allow him to go to this particular in-treatment place several hours from us for 13 months. He is still excited. The ball just isn't going as fast as we'd like. The courts are slow but it is getting closer and closer. We have been waiting on a phone call for two days now. Its all good tho; including his appetite - DANG !!! really, keeping this boy/man is 500 a month in food ! He has no clue of money/bills/responsibility etc.
I'm rambling - I feel like I'm getting dizzy as I type lol - I feel like I want to say so much all at once. I cry at church, singing and AA meetings - I sob like a little baby and my body jolts and I huff and puff and cry again. Last night I didn't cry at the meeting - first time ! Maybe I welled up but didn't full out bawl.
It feels good though. When we drive home together, my son and I , if I didn't know better I'd think my son is "high" because he is so spirit filled and excited from the meetings and successes that we interrupt each other all the way home. Last night I talked all the way home and he listened. It was a miracle speech by me, led by my creator, and my son listened to every breath I took and spoke. It was so moving.
I feel like my creator told me "this is the time" - I can say that, and I AM saying that; I explained to my son that I can say that because "God told me so" - "God told me to say it out loud, to you " it came out of my lips, mouth, vocal chords and breath to say it because God told me to say it out loud. It was spiritually moving -

The daughters are visiting every weekend and its all fun, giggles, games, yummies, movies, indoor tent building, shirt painting (to bring to rehab), bracelet making (to bring to rehab) . Bracelets that say "dad" and shirts that they draw on, write their names etc. Their daddy is already proudly wearing them.

I am not setting myself up for a big let down. I have never helped him on this level and it is well known with the entire family, if he fails at this, its officially buh'bye to prison and my house door is locked for good. Like I said, this is the time, it is going to work this time. He is such a lovely person. I have forgiven him years ago for every thing bad, sick, twisted, violent, mean and hateful that he has done because I recognize that alcohol, drugs, mental illness, retardation and the like ARE diseases. One does not wake up and say "my goal is to ruin as many lives as I possibly can, hurt people, get jumped, raped, jailed, froze, starved, shunned, hated, spit on and isolated" - No one wakes up and sets those goals. I feel the same about gay people. No man or woman wakes up one day and says, "I think I will make my life as hard as I possibly can. I think I'll take the chance of losing my entire family and take the chance of homophobes wanting to kill and torture me. I think I'll spend day after day contemplating suicide because I am a bad person, I think I want to lose every single one of my friends, live in isolation and live a lie because its fun --NOT ! ! ! My opinion of course.

Like I said, if it doesn't work this time, I won't be surprised because I've lived this life for over 50 years with many members of my family. It'll hurt like the dickens, but I have my tools to carry on.

The situation is a tad difficult with my husband, probably because he is not the spiritual person that I am. He thinks you should be able to wake up, as a man, and "do the right thing" - funny how he forgets that he got addicted to his prescription medication and acted the fool Dr shopping, lying and treating me like crap.
God is still working on/with him ; he is just not getting it yet and like my vows say; I can't hold a pillow over his face whilst he slumbers or hit him over the head with my antique cast iron skillet.

I hope this helps, enlightens or sparks some kind of thought of hope in any one who reads this. I also hope I didn't make you dizzy as I am writing like a butterfly on his was to Mexico for the winter. Can you just picture that? going up down side to side backwards hovering flipping and barely coasting for thousands of miles to rest? lol - what was our creator thinking?
be safe, be well, be happy, much love and hope ~beebz

NOT checked for spelling, grammar, punctuation or sensibility at all - haaaha


100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Wow. You are really on a high note when writing this! It is so great when we see good things happening when we have only seen bad for so long!!

I do hope that he keeps on track and does what he is supposed to do. I think you have done everything in your power to help him but it is really on him to turn his life around.

I pray that he does not let you down and this really is the change you have been waiting for.


Well-Known Member
beebz, I am thrilled for you that you have this interval of bliss with your son, and with the family. We're all praying and rooting for him and for you. He sounds like the most wonderful of people. It sounds like he is really responding to all of the support and being close in. Who knows? Maybe this is what he has needed.

I'm glad you posted and updated us.


Sending good vibes...
Beebz, Your post literally gave me the chills while reading it. All we have is this moment, so enjoy the relationship with your son for all it's worth.
I'm so happy for you and will pray for continued healing.