Update on son ..


Wowieeeeee - my first "time out" . My son went out without me; with my parents, who live in a wing of my home; to the foot Dr, to take off my moms shoes and socks because she (my mom) can't, and my dad is 90 and he needs a break in life too ! That boy is in for some grotesque sights lol - my mom has the fugliest feet this side of the Mississippi - what a son lol -
He is kind, compassionate, sweet, soft spoken, funnier than many comedians, loving, considerate, good looking, thoughtful and forgiving to name a few - he just happens to be a mental drug addict felon.

Today is 2 weeks that I rescued him and it has been a fabulous two weeks. We go to AA meetings and church all week long. We only had one small issue, heck, as I'm typing I forget what it even was; ummmm, dang, I just looked out the window for a while and I still can't think of what it was. I DO know it involved my husband, who got mad at him, oh well, doesn't matter, it was mild, that much I CAN say. My husband also needs to work on himself, A LOT.
He/son has been sober now for 25 days; zero cravings, and hasn't been out of my sight since I bailed him out of jail. In fact, my dad just said to him, upon learning that son was going to accompany him to the foot Dr, as a 90 year old to a 35 year old, "you're not going to go roaming around town while I take your nani to the Dr" , my son will not leave their sight, I believe him, and told him if he even thinks about it, then do not come back to this house; go sleep under the RR bridge with your friend. I didn't need to say that but I did want to make it clear, this IS the last time I step in. I am keeping him until he either goes to jail or rehab. I'm confident the judge is going to allow him to go to this particular in-treatment place several hours from us for 13 months. He is still excited. The ball just isn't going as fast as we'd like. The courts are slow but it is getting closer and closer. We have been waiting on a phone call for two days now. Its all good tho; including his appetite - DANG !!! really, keeping this boy/man is 500 a month in food ! He has no clue of money/bills/responsibility etc.
I'm rambling - I feel like I'm getting dizzy as I type lol - I feel like I want to say so much all at once. I cry at church, singing and AA meetings - I sob like a little baby and my body jolts and I huff and puff and cry again. Last night I didn't cry at the meeting - first time ! Maybe I welled up but didn't full out bawl.
It feels good though. When we drive home together, my son and I , if I didn't know better I'd think my son is "high" because he is so spirit filled and excited from the meetings and successes that we interrupt each other all the way home. Last night I talked all the way home and he listened. It was a miracle speech by me, led by my creator, and my son listened to every breath I took and spoke. It was so moving.
I feel like my creator told me "this is the time" - I can say that, and I AM saying that; I explained to my son that I can say that because "God told me so" - "God told me to say it out loud, to you " it came out of my lips, mouth, vocal chords and breath to say it because God told me to say it out loud. It was spiritually moving -

The daughters are visiting every weekend and its all fun, giggles, games, yummies, movies, indoor tent building, shirt painting (to bring to rehab), bracelet making (to bring to rehab) . Bracelets that say "dad" and shirts that they draw on, write their names etc. Their daddy is already proudly wearing them.

I am not setting myself up for a big let down. I have never helped him on this level and it is well known with the entire family, if he fails at this, its officially buh'bye to prison and my house door is locked for good. Like I said, this is the time, it is going to work this time. He is such a lovely person. I have forgiven him years ago for every thing bad, sick, twisted, violent, mean and hateful that he has done because I recognize that alcohol, drugs, mental illness, retardation and the like ARE diseases. One does not wake up and say "my goal is to ruin as many lives as I possibly can, hurt people, get jumped, raped, jailed, froze, starved, shunned, hated, spit on and isolated" - No one wakes up and sets those goals. I feel the same about gay people. No man or woman wakes up one day and says, "I think I will make my life as hard as I possibly can. I think I'll take the chance of losing my entire family and take the chance of homophobes wanting to kill and torture me. I think I'll spend day after day contemplating suicide because I am a bad person, I think I want to lose every single one of my friends, live in isolation and live a lie because its fun --NOT ! ! ! My opinion of course.

Like I said, if it doesn't work this time, I won't be surprised because I've lived this life for over 50 years with many members of my family. It'll hurt like the dickens, but I have my tools to carry on.

The situation is a tad difficult with my husband, probably because he is not the spiritual person that I am. He thinks you should be able to wake up, as a man, and "do the right thing" - funny how he forgets that he got addicted to his prescription medication and acted the fool Dr shopping, lying and treating me like crap.
God is still working on/with him ; he is just not getting it yet and like my vows say; I can't hold a pillow over his face whilst he slumbers or hit him over the head with my antique cast iron skillet.

I hope this helps, enlightens or sparks some kind of thought of hope in any one who reads this. I also hope I didn't make you dizzy as I am writing like a butterfly on his was to Mexico for the winter. Can you just picture that? going up down side to side backwards hovering flipping and barely coasting for thousands of miles to rest? lol - what was our creator thinking?
be safe, be well, be happy, much love and hope ~beebz

NOT checked for spelling, grammar, punctuation or sensibility at all - haaaha


100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Wow. You are really on a high note when writing this! It is so great when we see good things happening when we have only seen bad for so long!!

I do hope that he keeps on track and does what he is supposed to do. I think you have done everything in your power to help him but it is really on him to turn his life around.

I pray that he does not let you down and this really is the change you have been waiting for.


Well-Known Member
beebz, I am thrilled for you that you have this interval of bliss with your son, and with the family. We're all praying and rooting for him and for you. He sounds like the most wonderful of people. It sounds like he is really responding to all of the support and being close in. Who knows? Maybe this is what he has needed.

I'm glad you posted and updated us.


Sending good vibes...
Beebz, Your post literally gave me the chills while reading it. All we have is this moment, so enjoy the relationship with your son for all it's worth.
I'm so happy for you and will pray for continued healing.


It’s been 3 years. I reckon he’s’ been here 3 years. I cant remember. He lied and was on subs all this time (which I hate). He left once, I think, for many months and lived out of his car, went to church, worked out daily and kept his job but the family dynamic wasn’t working or I should say his mouth runs faster than he can control it and the things he said could not be taken back so we kick him out. …again….currently he is on subs, medical marijuana and works full time. I kicked him out Sunday and he will be packing this evening and when he leaves for work tomorrow morning he will not return. I am reduced to tears today. I love this kid more than anything on this earth, more than my mom, more than my dad, more than my husband…. I feel his pain, he is retarded and he is now schizophrenic. There is ZERO help out there. He is too intelligent to let me admit him somewhere. He thinks it’s fake, he doesn’t know he’s sick. I never thought I could hurt more, more than 3 years ago, but I do. All I can do is sit here and type scattered thoughts through tears. He has Tourette’s also. And for some reason, even though he eats us out of house and home, he can not gain any weight. He looks like a grotesque skeleton at 140 lbs and 6foot 2 inches. I’ve been trying to “get into” the shower now for 5 hours but am to depressed. In the last 3 years I have been diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) and neurogenic claudication of my legs and cant walk anymore, can’t hike, can’t shop, cant take out the trash. I can get from point A to point B. I still try. When my legs give out people look at me like I’m drunk; oh how people stares and judge. It occurred to me that for the 3 years that I was MIA that the whole Covid debacle took place. I got it and spent a month in bed, longest month of my life with a 14 day fever and what felt like a broken spine. I have a lot of residual disorders from it. I have so many insane things that happened in the past 3 years, especially my son going to rehab, being threatened by the detective on the case we were winning in court where my son was “set up”. The “detective” in question that set my son up came to my house to intimidate us; I told out attorney and he exploded and called the prosecutor. The detective also showed us illegal printouts of my husbands laptop (That my son was using when he lived here during the case) Next thing I know, our attorney disappeared, literally. My son pled guilty and went away. (To rehab, the STAR program) Came home sober and life was up and down and up and down and up and down and now its down as he moves out tomorrow. My son said the detective threatened to kill him and my son begged me not to fight the issue in court as he was afraid. I CAN tell you that my town is corrupt. There have been many unsolved murders and murders covered up by people in power to save the “popular names” of those in politics in the county/city. The story is so long that I cannot type it correctly and in chronological order other than to say my son was begged me to drop it, feared the detective and took a felony charge for the rest of his life. He ran scared for many months and in those months managed to rack up more felony charges. My son took his best friends gun. His best friend got out of the shower, noticed my son and the gun missing, went after him in a car, my son was on foot so didn’t get far being a homeless idiot and all, the dude pulled over, took the gun and beat the :censored2: out of my boy and went on his way. My son went back to the shelter and the dude who GOT HIS GUN BACK somehow managed to get an indictment on my son for stealing a gun when no gun was in his possession and no gun was missing and the owner had his gun. My homeless son pled guilty because it was the “easier thing to do” and now his record makes employment extremely difficult , yet he manages to find job after job after job. To sum things up, if that is even possible, my son is now 38? , his wife is with another dude with another baby from another man , they are not divorced, my grandaughters are scared of me because they witnessed a fight with their daddy this Sunday past and the time they were living here my son filled their head with schizophrenic stories before I realized what the fuhk was even going on. They get mad at me when I kick him out because they have no clue what the “behind the scenes” is like when they are not around. The only upside of my son moving out tomorrow, if ya’ll could use a laugh, is, I can’t wait to let my 61 year old boobs back out ! When hubby and I were living the empty nest, jogger shorts and tiny tops with no bra were the way to go ! Titties do not like to be held hostage so maybe when the boobs come back out I can laugh a little. Not shutting doors will be nice when showering and dressing and so on and so on. I want to add, I barely ever proof read my stuff and any and all questions are welcome. NOTHING is stepping over the line. I am an open book and am here to share.


Well-Known Member
I know what you mean about hating bras.

At least your son is working, even if he’s not gainfully employed, he’s working. There is a list of companies who hire non-violent felons in the lower section of this forum. I was surprised that so many major corporations are allowing that. I think it’s time companies start hiring non-violent felons to give them a chance at being gainfully employed. Some offer really good jobs.

Do you think Tourette’s may have played a role in making him feel the need to try and keep using drugs? Did he have trouble fitting in with other kids his age when he was younger?

I’m sorry about your legs. That certainly makes it difficult to get out of the house to see a counselor to help you cope with everything. Some therapists are doing phone appointments and FaceTime calls. You can find one online since it’s so hard to get out. I definitely think you need help coping because you’ve been feeling this way for years.


I do need a therapist, a counselor, anyone. I have wandered around two different towns the last 2 days. One was an important errand and the other was a gathering legal gambling place, not a large casino, just a place the size of a small bar. I’ve known the people forever and we talk and I cry. The guy at Lowes who carried my paint to my truck just started talking to me out of the blue. We saw life the same, by the time I was done with a half hour conversation with this stranger, I was again, bawling my eyes out. It’s not going to get better. My plate just got more full putting mom in a nursing home maybe less than 2 weeks ago and now having dad here without her. They’ve been together over 65 years (something like that) . My son will leave tomorrow morning and stay away, moved out. He entered this home after work today and I never even saw him. He went to his room, I was outdoors, then I left the home. Usually I hear him use the bathroom several times a night but he has not come out of his room. He is starving. Usually after work he eats for 3 hours straight, non stop. This is a horror, I am living a horror show. This is not how humans are supposed to feel


Well-Known Member
Staff member
A counselor is a great idea .

Families Anonymous is a good group to check out as well.

If your son has more than one diagnosis by a doctor , he might qualify for disability. It’s good that he is working though. But if he losses his job due to his problems…something to consider.

Probably best if your son moves out. Under certain circumstances and with boundaries in place, maybe you can provide some help here and there. It depends on many things.

Be sure to take good care of yourself…physically and emotionally.


Well-Known Member

I am not sure where to start. You most certainly have your hands full. I feel for you, reading your story. The love you have for your son, the chaos you live in taking care of everyone (except yourself.) All of that said, you are doing really well. You woke up on this side of the ground for a reason. I know you feel at a loss. I really believe put you there for a reason. Despite your son's issues, God gave him to you. Gave him to you to love, discipline, and manage. You are doing all of those things, beautifully. We can love our babes from afar. I am curious, could your dad go to the same home as your mom?

I was reading your post, the highs and lows. We certainly can agree that with adult addicts comes chaos. I appreciate that you can come here and say what you want and gather support. It has certainly helped me over the past 8 years. I love your spunk, despite it all. You've got grit and a lot of it.

Can your cat pay for my cat park? I have a stray sniffing around my kitten. She's 3. I want to kick his arse. He sneaks in to get her and "checks" me when I toss him out. This arseholle slams both paws on the back door. Reminds me of a teenage boy posturing for a fight. One day, he is going to get one! LOL

I am thinking of you, praying for you and your son, your marriage, your folks, and the dog park that never was.