UPdate on the lowDOWN of Dude

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Nov 7, 2008.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Hi all -

    I wanted to share this request - WE NEED THE POWER OF THE BOARD ON MONDAY - On Monday the "evil powers that be" have given Dude until then to accept their contract of moving him to Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) 200 miles from here in a concrete block facility with 20 other boys stating they feel this is what is best. WE DO NOT and veehemently disagree - he needs to stay at Fosters - they told us OKAY until he was 21 - he's making minimal progress, but FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ANY SETTING - PROGRESS.

    The most incredible thing to me is that he KNOWS he has court trial to face for bogus charges regarding 15 years in prison for a crime he didn't do. We think it is profiling on the part of the local police who hated boys from the hello home - remember he almost got killed twice, no food, no potty, no heat, animal abuse? Yet DESPITE THAT 15 years staring him in the face every day - he attempts to go to school and makes it almost 3 out of 4 days for adult education. We've told him he needs to go all 4 days - he said he can't mentally do it, can we cut him back to 2? He has a 4th grade math education - and the teacher says TAKE THE TEST - you're ready - HE BOMBED IT....he's depressed, wanted a GED by Christmas as a present for me AND probation. Now he's worried. BUT still he goes.

    He's FINALLY for the FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE getting along as best he can with the family he's with - he is looking for a job when there is nothing in our area - and NOTHING FOR SURE if it's convicted felon age 18 vs. out of work single mother or father willing to work for minimum wage to save their lives. (I'm not dumb - I know who I'd pick) but still he tries to get job.

    He had 80 out of 100 hours of his community service completed at the hello home and the caseworker LOST his paperwork so gets with the probation officer HERE and says - Let's just start all over again. WTH?
    Yet - HE GOES 1-2 days a week for 8 hours -

    And despite all this? The agency still thinks moving him would away from us, (the place he goes or comes to when the world is caving in on him)

    He also has made his OWN appointments for therapy - and is willing to TRY medicine - despite being on 64 medications historically - he said "Okay one more, and .....made his OWN appointment)

    He has NOT gotten into any trouble with the law
    He has NOT had any drugs or alcohol at age 18 in his life
    He has NOT kicked holes in the wall or busted things
    He has NOT been impossible to live with -

    HE HAS - PUT a stereo in my car - that he WORKED HIS BUTT OFF TO GET.....and since everyone worries that he steals things took my advice and GOT A BILL OF TRADE!!!!!! (WOOOO HOOOO) then came over yesterday and put it in, he ASKED to borrow the tools, and then cleaned up everything and put stuff away - even telling us "I'm putting this away if it's okay. and then actually SAT and visited with us, and it's GREAT - it EVEN HAS A REMOTE....OMG I love it. I cried.....I cried because in 18 years - I've waited for this day - a day where he SHOWED me HE CARES.....and it was awesome - except the part where I think I got snot on his tshirt - from crying - so much. But he just smiled. Just the fact that he did something he said he was going to do - is progress to me and following our rules to boot? BRAVO.

    So once again I'm asking the POWER OF THE BOARD, in prayer, vibes, beads, well wishes.....more prayers to think about this kid on MOnday and keep him where he is - FIVE MILES DOWN THE ROAD FROM HIS MOTHER instead of 200 miles back in the SAME area he was before that wants to put him in jail for 15 years - (and costs more) -makes no sense.

    THANKS all -

    I would hope that anyone of you that is hurting or struggling or can't figure out why you keep doing what you are doing for your kids - gets to have a glimpse like I did with the stero - I'll be riding that high for a long time to come - and I do know that times like that are so rare - but I really appreciated it God.....really really.
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You know my fingers are crossed, sweetie. I hope that this wil work out for Dude, and that he will continue to make progress.
  3. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Nekkid chicken liver dance by a preggo for my nephew, including bead rattling and candles at mass on Sunday!

    I would suggest printing a copy of your post and handing it to the judge. To be honest, if it wasn't all true and heartfelt, you wouldn't be putting it on a website for all of us to see - maybe it will move him (the judge that is!).

    You AND Dude deserve this: it's cruel what you've both had to fight for - a basic education and a modecum of compassion and respect!

    I'm praying for the two of you, now through Monday (which gets tough on a preggo's knees!).

    You get 'em girl!

  4. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Will be wishing hoping crossing everything I have that Monday's decision will keep your dude close to home, close to his mom.

    I am so happy for you that you are seeing such determination and progress in dude. He does seem to be trying SO HARD.

    Am curious...after all those medications, what medication is it that dude is going to try now? I don't know if he's tried Abilify but I think it can work wonders for Bipolar.

    Anyway, will be anxious to hear the outcome on Monday.
    Hang in there mom!

    hugs love and care,
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You can count on my support, of course. Do put together in writing notes
    that demonstrate the truth. He is just a number to them but he is trying to function as a young adult in really admirable ways. If you have the opportunity to speak it is best to "be prepared" and have factual notes to refer to so the emotion of the moment doesn't override the impact.

    Many hugs. DDD
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending prayers, positive thoughts and crossing everything for the right decision. I agree you should hand in a written statement to the judge. It certainly can't hurt.
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Star, sending positive thoughts, saying many many prayers, crossing EVERYTHING and doing the nekkid chicken liver dance.

    I agree with the others...a written statement to the judge couldn't hurt.

  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Taping chicken livers to me as a type---kind of hard to do. And hoping that none of my students walk by my room while I'm dancing for good juju!!! Prayers being said Star.
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Thanks so much all -

    I will take your ideas to pen and paper - we dont' see a judge Monday - we see the AGENCY that "helps" place him in the best locale. This is just to try to keep him at the foster parents home - nothing else.

    The judge? Comes later but we did have a teleconference with the PD. And I want to thank Meowbunny for her description of how PD's operate - it REALLY helped me calm down and I guess I was being spiteful about the spike heels. You were right -she's doing a good job - says that the states case is very weak, and the ONLY witness (other idiot who lied against dude) is MIA and has warrants out for his arrest - Apparently he got misinformation about the fact that he had to show up in court. So we pray he just stays gone.

    You know - you ALL are the best and I appreciate it so much that you took the time to read, and read.....and read the novella.....above...lol.

  10. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?


    Everything's crossed and prayers said. Beads, candles, and nakedness, just in case...

    And a great big hug.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am stocking up on extra chicken livers and will be dancin' all weekend to help with my nephew!!

    I suggest a statement from the Foster Parents that says they are willing to have him live with them, that he has been helpful and doing hwat they ask of him, etc... to have for the meeting on Monday.

    I am sending LOTs of extra hugs to you all! And no matter WHAT Six Dinner Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) says - he is NOT getting these chicken livvers til they has done their jobs!
  12. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Hoping wisdom prevails on Monday and they will find a way for Dude to keep making progress........
  13. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sending up MAJOR prayers that the MAJOR DUDE upstairs helps folks in charge realize what's the RIGHT thing to do for DUDE on Monday. That he stays PUT where he is and that he continues on this POSITIVE path he is on, growing up, growing wise, and growing strong in heart and spirit... HE deserves it... his dear ol MOM deserves it!

    P.S. I am teaching the four little chickies how to do their own naked chicken dance (we'll let them keep their livers) in the pale moonlight... their next performance is for the DUDE and his warrior mom STAR.
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Chikky dance!!! Omg!
  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Dancing and crossing in sunny California!
  16. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Sending many thoughts & prayers your way!!!!!!!!
  17. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    You and Dude are always in my prayers. But I'll be praying extra hard come Monday.......and doing the nekkid chicken dance like a banshee.

    It is just NOT RIGHT that Dude is finally "getting" it only to have them try to stomp him down. :(

  18. Jena

    Jena New Member

    :cheerleader:I'll be cheering you on from here, the girls and I!!!

    I"m sorry I"m late to this. First time on all day.

    Dude sounds like he is making great progress. I hope and pray that Monday goes exactly how you want and how Dude needs it to go.

    I love what he did with the radio, I can't imagine I would of been dripping on his t-shirt as well.

    I think it's time things start to go the way they should. I am confident they will for you, for him. Your persistance and perserverance humbles me.

    Ofcourse keep us posted Monday and let us know what happened.

    I am cheering
  19. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Hon...just cyber hugs at this point. I wish I could do more for you and Dude.

  20. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    :cheerleader: I'm gonna cheer with these girls here :cheerleader: and send all the good vibes I can muster up Dudes way for Monday. I'll not do the chicken liver dance................. it just wouldn't be pretty! :) Good luck and I hope they keep him close to home where he's seen the most progress.