everywoman
Well-Known Member
I am much more in control tonight. A lot has transpired in the past few days. I am still wrapping my brain around it all, as it was such a shock. difficult child had done nothing like this for over 6 years. I don't know what the trigger was---but there had to be one---even if he was sleepwalking---he had to be acting out subconsciously on his feelings.
difficult child moved in temporarily with my gfgbiomom. He is to look for his own housing, but in a tourist economy and the area we live in, it will be tough. I have not talked to her about it. I let husband and difficult child figure it all out. He has no real friends to room---they are all druggies or he has burned the bridges between them because of his past behavior---and the average price for a 1 bedroom in our area is $550. a month. He doesn't make enough to cover that.
We own a small garage apt. about a block from home, but my sister in law allowed a friend of the family to move in when his wife died in Dec. and she will NOT ask him to move out. She is enjoying the rent she is receiving from him, whereas if easy child or difficult child moves in there (she lived there before joining the army), she will not get her rent money. husband and I are looking into buying easy child a small mobile home to put in the mobile home park we also own---but there are no spots available right now. She is going to get some small settlement from the VA and it will offset the cost. My uncle owns two trailers in there that he rents; I'm going to talk to him about purchasing one of his---it's already there, his health is failing, and he may need to liquidate some property. If we get easy child out into her own place, may be able to move back home. He needs more guidance then she does, and I can't trust him to pay bills on anything I put in my name.
difficult child has been off the charts since Monday. He is manipulative and needy---calls every hour at least. He is extremely depressed. He has threatened to harm himself because he doesn't know where to go or what to do about housing, but we have coddled and enabled too much in the past and I was adamant that he work this out on his own. The good news is that when he went and talked to my gfgbiomom, he told her the truth about what happened. That shows that the improvement we've seen may be ongoing because the old difficult child would have lied and made this someone else's fault. He has accepted responsibility for his actions---and hopefully making him face the consequences will force him to move forward some more.
easy child is okay. She told me that she's a tough. She has been through so much in her life---between her dad and difficult child---and the army. She went and stayed with her boyfriend (ugh!) last night, but she is home tonight. She has been going to work, has been pretty upbeat, and is very willing to talk to us about what happened and voice her concerns and fears. She will not see a therapist. We have been there and done that, and well, she has all the tools she needs already. I don't think a therapist could really do anything that she hasn't already been given the tools to do herself. This is not her first rodeo.
Neither of them has any insurance right now. easy child will be able to go back on my policy if she goes back to school fulltime/ and we are still waiting on the VA to make a decision in her disability case, so she may get some coverage through them. If she feels she needs therapy, we will get it then.
difficult child needs to re-apply for SSI---but he doesn't have a current psychiatrist or therapist and hasn't been on medications for over two years. So, I don't know if he'd qualify. He could go to county mental health. He went there before, but he will have to make that decision on his own. He needs mental health care and ongoing sub. abuse support (he is addicted to marijuana)---but he is an adult---and he will have to figure all that out. I will offer suggestions if he asks, but right now I'm the bad guy and he will not ask me.
Sorry this is so long---thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers--
I don't know what I would do if ya'll weren't here.
difficult child moved in temporarily with my gfgbiomom. He is to look for his own housing, but in a tourist economy and the area we live in, it will be tough. I have not talked to her about it. I let husband and difficult child figure it all out. He has no real friends to room---they are all druggies or he has burned the bridges between them because of his past behavior---and the average price for a 1 bedroom in our area is $550. a month. He doesn't make enough to cover that.
We own a small garage apt. about a block from home, but my sister in law allowed a friend of the family to move in when his wife died in Dec. and she will NOT ask him to move out. She is enjoying the rent she is receiving from him, whereas if easy child or difficult child moves in there (she lived there before joining the army), she will not get her rent money. husband and I are looking into buying easy child a small mobile home to put in the mobile home park we also own---but there are no spots available right now. She is going to get some small settlement from the VA and it will offset the cost. My uncle owns two trailers in there that he rents; I'm going to talk to him about purchasing one of his---it's already there, his health is failing, and he may need to liquidate some property. If we get easy child out into her own place, may be able to move back home. He needs more guidance then she does, and I can't trust him to pay bills on anything I put in my name.
difficult child has been off the charts since Monday. He is manipulative and needy---calls every hour at least. He is extremely depressed. He has threatened to harm himself because he doesn't know where to go or what to do about housing, but we have coddled and enabled too much in the past and I was adamant that he work this out on his own. The good news is that when he went and talked to my gfgbiomom, he told her the truth about what happened. That shows that the improvement we've seen may be ongoing because the old difficult child would have lied and made this someone else's fault. He has accepted responsibility for his actions---and hopefully making him face the consequences will force him to move forward some more.
easy child is okay. She told me that she's a tough. She has been through so much in her life---between her dad and difficult child---and the army. She went and stayed with her boyfriend (ugh!) last night, but she is home tonight. She has been going to work, has been pretty upbeat, and is very willing to talk to us about what happened and voice her concerns and fears. She will not see a therapist. We have been there and done that, and well, she has all the tools she needs already. I don't think a therapist could really do anything that she hasn't already been given the tools to do herself. This is not her first rodeo.
Neither of them has any insurance right now. easy child will be able to go back on my policy if she goes back to school fulltime/ and we are still waiting on the VA to make a decision in her disability case, so she may get some coverage through them. If she feels she needs therapy, we will get it then.
difficult child needs to re-apply for SSI---but he doesn't have a current psychiatrist or therapist and hasn't been on medications for over two years. So, I don't know if he'd qualify. He could go to county mental health. He went there before, but he will have to make that decision on his own. He needs mental health care and ongoing sub. abuse support (he is addicted to marijuana)---but he is an adult---and he will have to figure all that out. I will offer suggestions if he asks, but right now I'm the bad guy and he will not ask me.
Sorry this is so long---thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers--
I don't know what I would do if ya'll weren't here.
