Urgent direction needed!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, May 23, 2010.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I just found out that my house went into foreclosure again and what's worse- the sell date is in 10 days. I can't stop it this time because we tried to work something out before and now I don't have the money to file bankruptcy. I have no earthly idea where to go for some type of emergency help. Obviously, I need to have a fast moving sell but I have two dogs and who knows what to expect with difficult child's placement and I have no place to go. And what do I do with the stuff that doesn't sell? I had worked out a plan with the mortgage company but missed one payment last month due to difficult child getting into trouble and getting caught up concentratingg on those courts and so forth and then because of that, the people I was doing work for feel like obviously these personal problems weren't worked out and they can't depend on me so they won't give me anymore work. Right now I'm so stressed that I can't even remember where to look for freee boxes to pack in. And with this situation, how on earth can I find a job even scrubbing floors?
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Deep breaths klmno.

    Most loan companies cannot foreclose/remove you physically from the house for several months. I'm sure there is a legal process they have to follow, just as a landlord does a renter. I'd go thru the phonebook in morning and call attorneys and find one who will give you phone advice or 1/2 hr free advice. Many do, but don't advertise the fact. You can ask them how this process works and how much time you have to make plans, ect. I would also attempt to call the loan company and speak with them again. I'd go as high as they'll let you. (lower ppl tend to like to bully cuz it makes them look better to their bosses if they can either get you to make a payment you can't afford to make/or leave without them having to rack up legal fees) Be open and honest with them. It never hurts to try and all they can do is tell you no they can't make a new agreement.

    If they can't make a new agreement, and it was me.......I'd be having the largest yard sale in history and get rid of everything I either can't move and can live without. While sitting at the yard sale......I'd be on the phone to community action and county services and getting the low down on every program they have available and finding out what I qualified for and sign up for it. If difficult child is still underage, you should qualify for a HUD subsidized apartment which is solely based on income....so no worries about affording it, and most come with utilities paid. It shouldn't matter if difficult child is living with you at the moment or in placement, the point is he "could" be living with you in the future. I knew a couple that was granted a HUD apartment and the mom was still fighting to get her kids back from CPS.:tongue:

    That would take care of the 2 basics. Money in your pocket, and a place to stay. Once those 2 things are settled, you shouldn't feel quite as panicky.

    I'm so sorry it's come down to this, my friend.

  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Do you have a friend who can keep the dogs for you temporarily? After that, I'd follow Lisa's plan of attack. Find out everything you may qualify for and apply for it, call the mortgage company and anyone else you can think of that might be able to help, and keep at it.

    I'm so sorry this has happened, k. Many hugs and lots of strength.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Hugs, I'm sorry. I really like Lisa's suggestion and also about seeing if anyone can take the dogs for a while. I hope things work put okay.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    i am so sorry. It is WRONG the way they give you so little notice. Just wrong.

    I don't have any other advice, but the ideas above are good ones.

    Many hugs.
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. This is just terrible.

    What kind of dogs do you have?

  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    klmno -

    I am so sorry - my heart just sank for you because any of us are just () close too.

    Craigslist for the boxes - advertise your yard sale there too.....make it a FORCLOSURE SALE.....people will come out of the wood work - make it easy on yourself - put everything you want in one room lock the door - and sell everything else - leave it where it is and just stay in the house ------let people come in and tell them to make offers....

    I am not exactly sure anyone can give you 10 days to get out either -----I think you should contact an attorney too.

    Hugs hon - I am so sad for your situation.
  8. jal

    jal Member

    klmno - I am so sorry. I don't have answers to the mortgage issue, but check with local supermarkets/liquor stores for xtra boxes. They usually will give them away. you are in my thoughts, again I am so sorry this is happening.
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    It takes time and costs money to evict someone from a house after a foreclosure sale. If you let the parties involved (banks, realtors etc) know that you would be willing to more, but you need time to get money together....they may offer you a little money to help pay for your move in exchange for your peaceful departure.

    If not, you can legally stay in your home for the 60 to 90 days it will take them to go through the eviction process--though at the end, you may owe back rent and court costs.

    Hope this helps!
  10. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm so sorry you are in this situation.
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. The super short notice really stinks-I hope that at least that can be delayed. Keeping you in my prayers.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thank you all- I was told by an attny though that in this state, after a foreclosure sell the peron has something like 24 hours to be out of the house then the sheriff comes and boards the doors. I'm trying to mull over options- none are good of course but it's which one will give the best option for having this end up better in the long run for difficult child and myself. I'm thinking I will go to apply for everything possible tomorrow. I filed for child support, too. Then I will need to mull over if going to my mom's might be better than going to a shelter or motel because it might even give difficult child a better chance. I want to get him out of this jurisdiction. I'm sure those people at the courts aren't 100% the blame for everything but after four years of this revolving door, I'm sure they aren't helping to rehabilitate difficult child. They might be more agreeable to keeping him in my custody if I'm at my mom's until I find a job and can get back on my own. It would be hard for them to justify turning difficult child over to dss where he would immediately go to a more distant family member and away from his mother and grandmother. The bad side of that scenario though is my mother is one who kicks me while I'm down and blames all difficult child's issues on me and I am extremely concerned that difficult child's and my relationship would deteriorate even further in a very short period of time. My mother isn't one who can have a rational conversation about things- even about what is in difficult child's best interest. Plus, she has panic attacks and flips out on me. There's a whole string of potential problems with that scenario. But, it wouldn't be quite so bad to go there while difficult child is still incarcerated so he won't be in the middle of that. I think it's better than telling these people before difficult child's trial that I have no permanent hoome and am in a shelter or motel. Then, I'll have to take whatver job I can find. Or at least it will buy a little time to apply for public assistance. Do you have to live in a state for a certain period of time in order to apply for assistance there?

    Honestly, in a way it might be best that this happened now while my psychiatric evaluation will be taking place so maybe they can get a glimpse of the types of stresses I have been under. Unfortunately, difficult child admitted to me today that he had blamed everything on me last year. One of the things he had told them was that it was my fsault that I had lost that job last year, not his. He feels that just because he might have had court one day didn't mean I had to miss days of work for it. What difficult child doesn't understand is that I had been ordered to supervise him 24/7 so I couldn't go if he wasn't at school. Then, many times while he would be at school I would be doing thorough searches of his bedroom looking for cutting instruments, or I would be going from agency to agency meeting with them trying to get him help. Or I was ata my therapist or writing letters trying to advocate for the courts to provide something or let him off probation so I could get help from another public agency. And yes, sometimes I did need to just breath or cry. difficult child doesn't get that while one day of crisis for him might be one court appearance than detention, it costs me tons of time and energy and emotional turmoil. And with the periods of crisis being so unppredictable, the boss had suggested a leave of absence until it was over- then when it was over, they had replaced me. But what's worse- these people are automatically assuming difficult child's story has more credibility than mine. He seems like he's cycling to me right now but they all see it as him struggling between bragging and being hyped up over going out and doing whatever he wanted and being bummed out because now he's locked up again. He will see a psychiatric nurse tomorrow but that's standard for him every time he's admitted because he had been on suicide watch down there once so this will just be a verification tomorrow that he's not suicidal. I can only pray that he switches moods like he did in front of me today while she's talking with him.
    Last edited: May 23, 2010
  13. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    K---I'm so sorry. Life has a way of kicking you when you're down. I hope you get a break soon.
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    You have to live in a state, well heck it's either 6mos or a year before you can apply for welfare. I'm leaning toward that 6 mos mark, but I'm not certain as it's been 10 yrs since we did it with K. And they gave her it early because she was pregnant.:tongue:
  15. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    If anyone has any more ideas, please keep them coming. I can't postpone this sell date and I can apply for a few things but as we all know, it takes a while to get them in. I will have to choose what to do- my mom is in a different state- if I apply for things here then report an out-of-state address to contact me at, I know longer qualify for help from this state. I couldn't apply before because I made more money the last 3 mos too qualify. But this past week, the people shrugged me off after stopping and starting the project 2-3 times the previous month. My mom didn't even repsond to my last email telling her about difficult child violating again and being back in detention. I have left a phone message for her tonight. I'm not committing to anything right now- I just want to know if that's still even an option with her.
  16. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh, Lordy, please don't tell me my best option is to get pregnant again!! (JK- actually- that isn't an option anymore.)
  17. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Go get yourself a PO box. Then you can file for that you need to without having to worry that you don't know what address you'll be at.

    Be sure to contact churches. Thhey often have support networks to help folks out.
  18. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Nothing more to offer than hope and strength. Thinking of you as you move through this time......
  19. nvts

    nvts Active Member


    Check with Catholic Chariites, Jewish Board of Children and Family Services, abused women's groups (you've been psycholoically abused for a very long time my friend!), etc. Check you local mental health groups. Many of these places have emergency funding for a quick mortgage payment, etc. They won't be able to bring you up to date, but they may be able to help you get an apartment or something if necessary.

    PM me your state and city, and I can try and find as many resources as possible (I just google til the cows - or kids - come home!).

    Have you deeply in my prayers -

  20. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks, Sharon! I have copied those down. Could I ask that you delete them and reference to specific geographical location from your post now? All info like this is very helpful and I appreciate it, I'd just prefer that specifics be PM'd to me. Sorry- I should have listed that in my first post.