Lots of us have problems answering when people ask questions about our kids, our health issues, or other issues that are different for us than for other families, esp ones with-o difficult children. I think it is a problem that we have each faced at times, and it can be terribly difficult to handle. Even worse is the way so many people make judgments about our kids, our parenting, our homes, whatever. My personal big problems are when people ask why I don't just go get a job or just go do something - I don't because my body can't but I look so normal that even my parents don't get it - and my mom has her own health issues, but hers haven't done the types of damage mine have even though the areas that hurt are the same. I was reading a thread over in sub abuse and I found the answer. Nancy and her husband use it, at least with themselves and in my humble opinion it is pretty much perfect. Don't judge if you haven't walked a mile in my shoes, and if you are not willing to walk in my shoes, be quiet. This isn't something I could say to everyone, or in all situations, but the essence of it can be said and is exactly what I have watned to say for so long! Thanks Nancy! Just thought some of you might find it helpful to think in terms of this when those infernal questions pop up.