WE ARE DONE!!!!!! Update


New Member
My h just called me at work a few minutes ago telling me how he's probably going to have to put a restraining order on the girl he had the affair with. He then tells me that she followed him yesterday morning and was stalking him, he told her to leave him alone and that he isn't even living home anymore, and she says I know I have been driving by your house. So I said, are you kidding me, now she's driving by MY house???? He then continues to tell me that she then went out last night and got wasted and got pulled over. She tells the police she is going to call him to pick her up. She was right down the street from where he is living, so she must have found out where he lived somehow???? So she calls drunk AND HE PICKS HER UP!!!!!!!!!!!!
I said, are you kidding me, why are you telling me this anyway? He said, because I know you'll see her number on the cell phone log and I just wanted to be honest with you. He said he then called her this morning and said he never wants to talk to her again and if she ever follows him or contacts him again she will call the police. I said, oh well, I don't know what to tell you. he then procedes to tell me that he didn't get one minute of sleep last night and got no work done today. Again, why are you telling me this. He said sorry to bother you, I'll let you go.

Wait it gets better..........

My bff Jill calls me :smile: and says, did you talk to Dave? Apparentley he called her first and she said to him you have to tell Karen this before she finds it out for herself. She then apparentley said to him, are you going to tell her everything???? and he said yes.

So I call Jill back and she says, so he told you everything and I said yes, this is what he told me. She got very quiet and said, did he tell you where she went when he picked up up???
HE BROUGHT HER BACK TO WHERE HE IS LIVING!!!!!! He says to Jill, I know P, his lesbian friend he is living with, must have saw her sleeping in my bed because I don't have a door on my room. He's telling her he doesn't know what to do because he probably just blew it with P.

Never mind P!!!!!!! I have one hour left at work. When I get home I am going to call him and say, well I guess when you told Jill you were going to tell me everything, she really thought you were going to tell me everything. I'm going to tell him there is no chance in H that we will ever get back together and that he is a sick person who needs to get himself some serious help. I have never done anything to him in our 27 year marriage that would give him any reason to do what he is doing. I think somebody must have hit him in the head with a board or something.

My pressure is through the roof. If I wasn't the only one in my office today I would have head out as soon as I was done with that phone call.

50 minutes and counting!!!!


Well-Known Member
Kfld, I feel for you.
When an H discovers that he's about to become an Ex-H, things can get even uglier. It's probably a blessing that you have some more time at work, because it gives you a chance to get a grip on yourself, and make some plans.

I would suggest that, rather than calling your H the moment you get off work, that you take the time to make whatever plans you need to.

Seek legal advice, financial advice, real estate advice, whatever issues you are going to have to deal with when you take the steps to end the marriage formally. Only when you have a plan and can see things clearly, do you want to confront your H.

It's WAY too easy to make a bad decision when your emotions are high. And if the girl is as unstable as she sounds, you might need to put some security measures in place to protect yourself and your children. Call display, call block, one of those little wide-angle viewers in your front door...I'm not sure what you need, but you want to make sure that you are safe and have a plan before you do anything else.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I have been there done that, and it can be an awful mess.

Best wishes, and be strong.


Well-Known Member
Good Grief!

The man is living with a lesbian friend P, picking up drunken girlfriend's that he claims are stalking him and taking them home to sleep in his bed and then worrying about the lesbian friend?

Ok...are you sure this isnt a plot for next seasons opening episode of Ex Wifes Club?


Well-Known Member
I agree with trinity. Put a plan together before you go off half-cocked (I have a tendency to do that too).

Get all finanacial and legal stuff in order.

I'm so sorry. I'd be foaming at the mouth over something like this.


call 911........call 911
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I just wanted to be honest with you. </div></div>I just wanted to be honest with you. - :rofl:


Well-Known Member
Karen, I have heard of mid-life crisis but this is absurd! Did he get hit with a stupid bomb?

I'll be tipping a glass of Shiraz in your honor this evening.


Active Member
Can we say mid-life crisis? Next it will be a Corvette, dyed hair, a fake tan, teeth whitening, and :censored2: implants. Make me barf.

Oh, and by the way, if she is really stalking him - why on earth would he have answered his phone at god knows what hour last night - let alone take her back to his place? Does she not have a home? Pleeeaaaaaaaaaze!

So, so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there, and breathe. It will get better - especially when you are able to decide you no longer want to talk with him.......EVER.


Former desparate mom
He is definitely in a downward spiral. Sure hope he wakes up before he crashes. Serious case of mid life crisis? or mid life crazy?

I can't imagine you have to do anything but watch the crash and burn that will hit soon enough.

Protect yourself and your assets.
Make some popcorn and watch this train wreck happen.


Well-Known Member
Karen...this scene just gets uglier. I'm so sorry for all the drama in your life. You really need a rest from this. Wish h hadn't even called you, he's only making things worse. Geez!

Shaking my head,
He fell out of the stupid tree. He is hitting every. single. branch.

Karen, take our advice. Seek legal counsel before doing ANYTHING. That includes speaking ONE WORD to him. You don't want to match him branch for branch.


Oh, and what size do you wear? I need to get you a team jacket...


New Member
Take some deep breaths, go home and write it all down or type it all up, but do not talk to him yet. Get it all out, all the anger, but do your best to not speak with him.

When your blood pressure drops some, think of what plan of action you want to take and then follow it.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'd be heartbroken along with angry. (((hugs)))


Well-Known Member
Wow he sure has hit bottom, what an idiot. Sounds like a trashy novel. I would be at the attorney's office tomorrow.



Well-Known Member
I think somebody must have hit him in the head with a board or something.

Gosh, if this isn't proof positive that he's got to go... Not that you needed any convincing... but his judgment is like a 2-yr-old's.
Please, do not waste one more min. fretting over him. He was way out of line to call and tell you those things. You have no reason to speak to him any more unless you have an atty. sitting with-you. Your soon-to-be-ex is wasting your time.


No real answers to life..
Frankly are you sure this even happened? Is he beyond trying to stir some jealousy in you? Not a smart thing to do, but neither is helping out someone who is stalking you......

Give yourself some time to calm down.....your anger could be the encouragement he's looking for....


Well-Known Member
And he is telling you all of this because ....???? Why is he insisting on dragging YOU into the middle of all his sordid crappola? I mean, really! Drunken girlfriend's and lesbian friends who might get mad because the drunken girlfriend is there! Sounds like a bad movie!

Does he think that you care? You shouldn't care! Does he still think that you might get back together again and that he has to explain all this to you so you won't be mad?

Is he playing with a full deck? Seriously!


Well-Known Member
I'm sorry.. this must be so painful. You deserve so much better than this! Please, please see a lawyer if you haven't already. -Alyssa


(the future) MRS. GERE
Karen, I'm glad that your feelings are cloaked in anger right now. The anger will carry you through as you make some tough decisions. One of these days the grief will appear and it will be devastating.

I agree with the group. Contact an attorney for advice and protection. I'm so terribly sorry.