I have had a really hard time disciplining my oldest son. Nothing seems to work. So I started telling him that all of his actions have a reaction and it can be good or bad. He was really ugly to his vision therapist last week, so in the car I explained to him that because of his behavior he would have a consequence. I didn't allow him to watch the dvd player on the way home and sent him to clean the playroom when we got home and he lost all privileges of choosing what to watch on tv. He didn't have a meltdown...He didn't whine and not do it. He accepted responsibility and apologized for his behavior. I was kind of in shock. So I took a mason Jar and filled it with- slips of paper that have consequences on them. Every one has something like 'clean baseboards in living room---go to bed 15min early' or '5min timeout---lose tv privileges'. I sat him down and explained exactly how it worked. If we tell him to do something and he says 'no' or whines he gets a consequence from the jar. If he acts out in public or is naughty...if he hits his brother or calls names he gets a consequence. IT HAS WORKED WONDERS. He has been so much easier to deal with at home. He has only had to pull from the jar once. It was the first time he has went to time out without a tantrum...EVER. It's like explaining the whole thing to him turned on a light bulb and he GETS it now. I wish I had thought of this sooner. All I have heard from him lately is 'yes Ma'am.' Which is a nice change from the norm!