difficult child has timing, I'll say that. We were in Ontario yesterday for a family funeral; left early am after dropping difficult child off at work at 5:45 and weren't due back until evening. I arranged for a cab home from work for difficult child. daughter was on the school bus. So at 3 pm I get a call from difficult child, who has borrowed the cab driver's cell phone. difficult child is furious; he's locked out of the house. He's blaming husband and I and being rude and angry. (It turns out daughter, being the last to leave, locked the house without having her key with her!!) husband told me to hang up the phone; I told difficult child that daughter would be along in 30 minutes with a house key (as I thought). It was a beautiful day and we have a front porch for sitting. The minute I hung up the phone I also remembered that 2 windows in the garage were open that difficult child could climb through (the kitchen door in from the garage wasn't locked, just the outer man-door and big doors). Also there were several ground floor windows that were shut but unlocked. I've gotten in that way myself before when I got locked out by accident. So what does difficult child do? He KICKS IN THE MAN-DOOR of the garage, splinters the wood casing, dents the door in several places. The door has to be replaced and the frame repaired or replaced, along with the trim. If he'd walked around the corner of the garage he'd have seen the open windows. He called me a bit later from in the house, all nervous and sniffly and starting to sob, telling me he damaged the door 'a bit' and now he'll be kicked out, and he's always the screw-up, etc. etc. I told him to calm down and we'd talk when we got home. daughter says that after hearing him sobbing and crying during the phone call, ten minutes later he was walking around humming - not exactly happy, she says, but not sobbing either. husband seems to finally have gotten to his limit of tolerance and we seem to be on the same page at last. He wanted to write a contract! So I wrote one up and am tweaking it. The first thing is that difficult child has to go to DBT counseling with the dual diagnosis psychologist I just located. The appointment is made. If he doesn't go, he chooses not to live at home. He has to complete rehab; follow all their recommendations; go to NA/AA meetings; abstain (of course) from alcohol and drugs; turn over his wages for the foreseeable future to pay back the costs and damages to property etc. that he's run up in the past few months; pay for rides into town, other than appointments and meetings that we mandate (so pay to get to work, just as he would have to if he lived elsewhere); pay gas for the trips to his college town for his court case; pay more for any trips beyond the city limits unless we offer them; pay for his tobacco (he has been, but this will still come out of his wages even though he's using the remainder to pay us back). He must not go more than 2 weeks between jobs, should he lose his job. He must do any jobs around the house that he's assigned; not drive any of our vehicles at any time; and maintain courtesy and respect with the family. He can 'earn' his way to not living at home by any further damage to house or property; by refusing to keep or look for a job; by refusing to work around the house; and by threatening or hurting daughter or me. The last one means immediate eviction with police called and charges pressed. Property damage could mean the same thing, depending on severity. We agree to pay his health insurance until his current job kicks in that benefit; we provide shelter, food, basic clothing that he already has, and laundry facilities. We provide rides per contract but rides are not guaranteed in case of his violation of contract or at our discretion for any reason whatever. This includes his ride to his court case. If he violates the contract or 'earns' his way out he has 14 days to move out. If moving under nonviolent circumstances we will help him look for a place to stay. We will also provide a list of items he is permitted to take, and ONLY those items. If moving under violent circumstances he'll most likely be going to jail. Does anyone have comments or suggestions? I'm going to an Al-Anon meeting tonight (hooray! my first) but want to tweak the contract later. husband and I are going to sit down with difficult child tomorrow, go over it and sign it.