Hello All ! Thanks for the replies to my first post - all of you really do understand !!!! I don't even know why I mentioned the duplex/living arrangments problem because as you all know that is not the main issue, just a sideline of many. this will be a great place to come and talk things through. I do have a hard time letting go, partly the "Mommy instinct" and partly because I know who's fault it is going to be when things don't turn out the way what ever the latest stupid idea happens to be. 2 Months until she starts college, and then who knows what. I have to just realize that while she is here she is not getting into real serious trouble, that will come later. Where can I find the abbreviation code? what does difficult child stand for?