steelgogator
New Member
Dear Fellow Weary Parents,
Looking for some new ideas.
My 10-year old has anxiety issues and rigidity and is very reactive. He is getting bigger and his explosive behavior is getting hard to contain and manage. Lately, he loses his temper explosively at least once a week over tiny tiny things. Today, I gave him 30 minutes of screen time, then gave many warnings that his time was almost up, then he went over time, and I gently reminded him to wrap up several times. Eventually, I gently removed the iPad from his grasp. And, he screams - I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. YOU ARE SO MEAN!!! And, then he proceeds to make a huge mess, tear things up, scream at me, and charge at me and knock me and my chair over. He seemed to be surprised to have knocked me over, and finally complied with my instruction to go to his room and cool off. Then, he regained his composure, apologized, and is now completely back to normal. Haven't had much success or take-up in trying to replace aggressive behaviors with other anger coping strategies. He seems to really want to create chaos and suffering for others when anger takes hold of him.
One question for this wise group - What kind of consequence is appropriate and a good disciplinary tool for an explosive, aggressive child? I want him to know there is zero tolerance for physical abuse. But, he responds very explosively to consequences (such as losing screen time for the next day). We try to hold the line. But, I'm never sure any lesson has been taught when a consequence is imposed, because the experience is eclipsed by the magnitude of his reaction to the consequence and his feeling of injustice and that he is the true victim.
Another question is - What else should we be doing to help him cope with his strong emotions? He is taking a low dose of Zoloft for compulsive behavior (especially the compulsion to complete a preferred activity) and anxiety. We wonder whether we should try a higher dose or different medications. It seems daunting to change up medication and we don't have great confidence in our psychiatrist. Currently searching for someone better but also daunted by yet another intake process. He also currently sees 2 different psychologists a week - one for play therapy, the other more talk therapy and skill-building oriented. Back in 2014, he had a psychiatric-ed evaluation, FBA, and IEP evaluation and everyone says there's a strong anxiety component with some social skill deficits and black and white thinking typical of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). He's never had a neuro-psychiatric evaluation and maybe it's time to do that or re-do some of these other assessments? Kind of overwhelmed with what to do next given many options and already pretty battle weary and exhausted.
Would love to hear any thoughts from his experienced and supportive group. I was so happy to rediscover this forum after searching for ideas on-line.
Thank you!!
Looking for some new ideas.
My 10-year old has anxiety issues and rigidity and is very reactive. He is getting bigger and his explosive behavior is getting hard to contain and manage. Lately, he loses his temper explosively at least once a week over tiny tiny things. Today, I gave him 30 minutes of screen time, then gave many warnings that his time was almost up, then he went over time, and I gently reminded him to wrap up several times. Eventually, I gently removed the iPad from his grasp. And, he screams - I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. YOU ARE SO MEAN!!! And, then he proceeds to make a huge mess, tear things up, scream at me, and charge at me and knock me and my chair over. He seemed to be surprised to have knocked me over, and finally complied with my instruction to go to his room and cool off. Then, he regained his composure, apologized, and is now completely back to normal. Haven't had much success or take-up in trying to replace aggressive behaviors with other anger coping strategies. He seems to really want to create chaos and suffering for others when anger takes hold of him.
One question for this wise group - What kind of consequence is appropriate and a good disciplinary tool for an explosive, aggressive child? I want him to know there is zero tolerance for physical abuse. But, he responds very explosively to consequences (such as losing screen time for the next day). We try to hold the line. But, I'm never sure any lesson has been taught when a consequence is imposed, because the experience is eclipsed by the magnitude of his reaction to the consequence and his feeling of injustice and that he is the true victim.
Another question is - What else should we be doing to help him cope with his strong emotions? He is taking a low dose of Zoloft for compulsive behavior (especially the compulsion to complete a preferred activity) and anxiety. We wonder whether we should try a higher dose or different medications. It seems daunting to change up medication and we don't have great confidence in our psychiatrist. Currently searching for someone better but also daunted by yet another intake process. He also currently sees 2 different psychologists a week - one for play therapy, the other more talk therapy and skill-building oriented. Back in 2014, he had a psychiatric-ed evaluation, FBA, and IEP evaluation and everyone says there's a strong anxiety component with some social skill deficits and black and white thinking typical of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). He's never had a neuro-psychiatric evaluation and maybe it's time to do that or re-do some of these other assessments? Kind of overwhelmed with what to do next given many options and already pretty battle weary and exhausted.
Would love to hear any thoughts from his experienced and supportive group. I was so happy to rediscover this forum after searching for ideas on-line.
Thank you!!