What would you do?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Skylark Matrix, Oct 15, 2007.

  1. Skylark Matrix

    Skylark Matrix New Member

    My sister has a easy child daughter, age 18, finished school, working, lives at home. housing is very expensive where they are, no hope of easy child getting her own place. easy child has had the same boyfriend for over a year, my sister hates him, and he is a loser, 20, no job, no education, no ambition, lives at home. Last weekend easy child decided to go stay with the boyfriend (at his parent's farm) for a few days, however my sister thought she had moved out permantly. I spoke with easy child (my niece, hope everyone is not too confused here) who says she just wanted to get away for a few days and plans to go back home to live in the next couple of days, and would I talk to my sister about that, because my neice is sort of afraid of the reaction she is going to get. My sister has decided "if you play adult games, you get adult consequences" and won't let her move back home. I don't know how to approach the subject with my sister. I realize the girl did wrong, but I feel like my sister is way to harsh, and this is a NORMAL child who should be allowed to date and have NORMAL priveleges, however, she doesn't my siter is very controlling and I don't know why. I don't want to get a war going, but I feel so bad for my neice who is a very lovely girl.
  2. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Tough call. Personally, I would try to stay uninvolved. If you go to your sister it may be percieved as you interfering with her parenting.

    Your niece left home by her own power ... she should go back home in the same manner ... by her own power.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    I would tell the niece that she needs to talk to her mom. She knows how mom is and she should just say I am sorry for whatever started this tiff. Your sister sounds pretty rigid to me.

    If it were me I would want the child in my own home before letting her live with a loser boyfriend!

    I am betting your sister just wants to make sure niece get the 'lesson' here.

  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I too would advise niece to talk to mom, but other than that I would keep quiet. This is her child. The way she chooses to raise that child is her business as long as she is not abusive. Now if she tells her she can not come home and easy child asks to stay with you, I would allow it. Again, I would not solicit advice or say anything to the niece or mom about my personal feelings.