mstang67chic
Going Green
This is something that has been on my mind for.....well, honestly, for years now. After reading some recent posts, it's come back to the forefront and I thought I'm see if I could get it out in a post that may or may not make sense.
So....why is it that we as parents are expected to tolerate, put up with and live with all kinds of behaviors, attitudes, threats and abuse simply because the person exhibiting said behaviours are our children? If a spouse or significant other were doing these things we would be encouraged to contact the police, seek help from a domestic abuse shelter, leave, do whatever we need to do to protect ourselves and our children. But if it's our child doing this to us, others and our other children, we're supposed to wipe the slate clean, do a few family counseling sessions, listen to the "experts" and take the child back into our home only to be put in the same situation as before.
Why can't we parent from afar or even, in some situations, cut ties? Sometimes our children are extremely ill and/or dangerous. But because they are our CHILDREN, we have to live with it? I'm sorry, that doesn't float with me. I don't see how people can look down on parents for trying to keep their family safe. Don't get me wrong, I"m not talking about getting the child out of the house and completely breaking off ties and having absolutely no contact (unless the situation really calls for that) but getting the child into a situation that is good for all involved. What is so bad about that? Why are we as parents, called into question for doing that type of thing? Dangerous behaviour doesn't just happen overnight after someone grows up. It starts young.....why can't people see that? And not even just dangerous behaviour. husband and I for example, have stated that difficult child will not be living with us again. He's not dangerous or abusive but we simply can't taking living under lock and key anymore. We like being able to live in our own home without locking our possessions up.
People are starting to realize that changes need to be made in the mental health system. Maybe they will eventually understand this too.
So....why is it that we as parents are expected to tolerate, put up with and live with all kinds of behaviors, attitudes, threats and abuse simply because the person exhibiting said behaviours are our children? If a spouse or significant other were doing these things we would be encouraged to contact the police, seek help from a domestic abuse shelter, leave, do whatever we need to do to protect ourselves and our children. But if it's our child doing this to us, others and our other children, we're supposed to wipe the slate clean, do a few family counseling sessions, listen to the "experts" and take the child back into our home only to be put in the same situation as before.
Why can't we parent from afar or even, in some situations, cut ties? Sometimes our children are extremely ill and/or dangerous. But because they are our CHILDREN, we have to live with it? I'm sorry, that doesn't float with me. I don't see how people can look down on parents for trying to keep their family safe. Don't get me wrong, I"m not talking about getting the child out of the house and completely breaking off ties and having absolutely no contact (unless the situation really calls for that) but getting the child into a situation that is good for all involved. What is so bad about that? Why are we as parents, called into question for doing that type of thing? Dangerous behaviour doesn't just happen overnight after someone grows up. It starts young.....why can't people see that? And not even just dangerous behaviour. husband and I for example, have stated that difficult child will not be living with us again. He's not dangerous or abusive but we simply can't taking living under lock and key anymore. We like being able to live in our own home without locking our possessions up.
People are starting to realize that changes need to be made in the mental health system. Maybe they will eventually understand this too.