Would you have a problem if it was your child?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Missteach, Nov 24, 2017.

  1. Missteach

    Missteach New Member

    I teach year 2 and don't let them go to the toilet during lesson time. Would it bother you?
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Is that about age 7? I have a problem...as my daughter would always wait too long...and when she had to go, she had to go right then! Or accidents happened.

    I also had a problem in 5th and 6th grade...as she started her mental cycle earlier than her friends. And a male teacher wouldn't let her go to the restroom...

    These things are mortifying to kids...

    But, I know there are kids who abuse bathroom breaks...

  3. Missteach

    Missteach New Member

    They are 6 and 7 and never go more than a couple of hours without a chance to go to the loo.
  4. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I think little kids should be allowed to go to the bathroom when they need to. I do t see an up side to making them hold it in and be uncomfortable.
  5. ahhjeez

    ahhjeez Active Member

    I agree with SWOT. I think if a child needs to use the restroom they should be allowed to do so.
  6. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    I agree some children are not mindful of the opportunity and when the urge stiles and they have to go they have to go.
    I was one of these children and I had an accident and wet my pants in grade 2. I was bullied and teased about it straight through to grade 5. Man kids can be cruel.
  7. Since the direct instruction part would be about 15 min. I'd say they could wait 15 min.... (Unless it is an emergency and emergencies don't happen every day) I think they should be allowed to go during the practice or seatwork part of the lesson. However, I think if it's a regular thing (like they come in from recess and then need to go right away) they should have to pay for the time they were gone. Maybe take them out to break/lunch 1 min. early and take them straight to the restroom so they could go before eat or play.
  8. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    I’m a teacher and I’ve always let kids go. I had one student have an accident and I felt horrible and have never denied it since. I had asked him to wait until the end of the lesson (15min) and he couldn’t. I now ask if at an emergency.

    My son had encopresis (from holding bowel movements in school) and it took years to help him learn to understand his body.

    Always check if they really need to go. Always
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  9. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    It's not as much of a problem with high school students. By the time they are that age, they learn to regulate their bladders. In elementary school it can be very problematic. I let my students go if they need to because it can affect their concentration. However, I have had kids who just do that to get out of class.
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  10. Missteach

    Missteach New Member

    If they have a note about a medical problem they are allowed to go. Other than that it is a no. Children should be able to manage their toilet breaks outside of lesson times (teachers have to). In 5 years I have never had a child wet themselves.

    With this age group girls on their menstrual cycle are also not a problem so something I do not have to worry about.
  11. Missteach

    Missteach New Member

    I'd rather have one child unable to concentrate than the whole class disrupted. Go at break or cross your legs has always been my way of thinking. If children go at break they shouldn't be bursting.
  12. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    You cant always go on command at a set time. This is an adult talking. I cant. How can a six year old???I think its mean to force a child to "cross your legs." It isnt part of educating or teaching.It is about compassion for young kids.

    I never liked most teachers too much, especially those who thought they knew what ALL kids should and should not be able to do. And when. And if a teacher did something to my kid thought was wrong, i fought for mine, even calling the Dept. Of Public Education. The eduators may not have liked it, but I really didnt care. My kids/my responsibility. My kids never complained!

    I usually made my point well and prevailed. If my kids told me Mrs. Smith wont let me pee" i probably would have gone to our awesome pediatrician, whom I had a great relationship with, and asked for a letter(s) stating that my child(ren) had to go when he and she says so. If my kids would have asked every five minutes, well, that is a behavior problem to be discussrd, but my two youngest, who I am thinking of now, would never have done that.

    I am amazed at the group set thinking of some school educators. No wonder public education is getting a bad rap. I was always there fighting for my kids though. And usually winning the b.s. issues. And guess what? Both my now adult kids are hard working, productive, law abiding young people, one about to enter the police academy.

    Our young kids sadly need advocates in school. We are their best most effective ones. This is but one example of making kids do something only at a certain time that may not be the right time for them then making them suffer because they need to either urinate or, worse, poop. It would not have happened to my kids had their been such a rule, whixh there was not. If you need to go and you are six, you go. You should be allowed to be comfortable. Address individual parents if a certain child abuses it.

    I am surprised at some of the teacher's lack of compassion with such small kids. No wonder charter schools, private school vouchers, online schooling and homeschooling are thriving.

    Having said that, through the years all four of my kids had some amazing teachers who cared, but they also had some really bad ones that none of the parents liked. And so I kept an eye on my kids and fought for what I thought was right.

    Nuff said. I am done. Fought my battles and almost always won.
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2017
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am totally against any teacher telling young children that they must "cross their legs" or "hold it" and only go at set times. I think that is ridiculous. We encountered 2 elementary teachers that had stupid policies for bathroom breaks. Each time our doctor insisted on giving a letter insisting on breaks at will. It wasn't the same doctor. I have yet to meet a pediatrician who thinks that children should take bathroom breaks less frequently than every 2 hours. Heck, I had to see a urologist recently and he said that adults should go every 2-2.5 hours!! I know the schools here don't give breaks that often. Every time my son's doctor refills his asthma medications for the year they ask if he needs a note for school saying he can leave class at will for bathroom breaks. The medications make you need to go more often and it can actually be detrimental to hold it longer.

    Every child is different. If a child asks, they should be allowed to go. If that child asks often, maybe they have a problem. If they are taking a long time, or playing in the halls, then that should be addressed. Otherwise, let them go. If the child disrupts the class, figure out a way for them to ask that doesn't interrupt. One teacher my son had did this. The children held up hand with their fingers with the thumb and index finger in a circle and their other fingers up straight to signal they needed the bathroom without saying anything. This way the teacher could point at them or say their name and they could go without interrupting the class. It worked very well. Sometimes the teacher would just walk by as she was talking and just tap their hand to say yes without interfering at all with what she was saying.

    Just insisting a child be uncomfortable and expecting them to learn not disrupt the rest of the class is not wise. The child won't be able to focus on what is being taught even if it is their absolute favorite thing in the universe. They just won't. Instead they will fidget and squirm and bump their neighbor and make rude comments and do things to distract themselves from how uncomfortable they are. This will either irritate or entertain those who are around them. It keeps.more students from learning for a much longer period than just letting the child go to the bathroom would. It is also a lot less mean.
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  14. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I think teachers should only be allowed to go potty twice a day. Line them up in the morning, like children, and again at noon. If they cant go, too bad,so sad. And even if they get terrible cramps when they are teaching, they should have to smile and keep teaching during the agony of a stomach ache. After all, they are older and should be able to hold it until they get home from their lunch break potty visit, like kids.

    This is the same sort of sadism we hear here. The teachers are cold to the suffering.

    Meanwhile half the teachets cant get their students to learn...and guess what? It is the parents faults, not theirs, plus they want more money to not teach the students. I have teacher aide close friends who have to hear teachers biotch and complain about kids and parents in the teachers lounge, so I get an earful. Its not pretty. And of course (sniff) they should make more too because...???

    I could go on and on about what has always been wrong with and is still wrong with public schools. But no need. It is out in the open now.

    Thank God for alternatives to public schools and those teachers, in all teaching settings, who are kind and understanding and dont make their kids "hold it" in a way thet they themselves would never do. They pee and poop when they want, not standing in a line twice a day at a schefuled time, because to not pee or poop is painful. Teachers dont want to feel this discomfort. Well,kids can handle it less!

    I hope the parents complain about this until the sadistic rule is changed. If not, there are charter schools, private schools of all sorts, online schools of all sorts and homeschool. It is no longer necessary to partake in public school to go to college.
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    Last edited: Nov 25, 2017
  15. Missteach

    Missteach New Member

    If they have a note of course I let them go. The girls and boys toilet are just outside my class so they can go as they go in and out of my class.

    The schedule is as follows:

    8.55-10.30 lessons
    10.30-10.45 break (toilet available)
    10.45-12.10 lessons.
    12.10-1.10-lunch (toilet available)
    1.10-3.15 lessons
    3.15 hometime.

    As you can see no longer than 2 hours between opportunities to use the toilet.

    An example, earlier this year we had an afternoon long assembly. On the way to the hall I said anyone who needs to go, go now. A girl then claimed when we got to assembly she was dying for a wee. I said that was too bad and she would have to hang on until home time, and that she should have gone earlier She managed to wait.

    She learnt three things:

    Pee when given the chance.
    Miss won't let me go no matter how many times I ask (she asked 3 times).
    Use the toilet at lunch.
  16. Missteach

    Missteach New Member

    Actually teachers do hold it. There are times where I don't get a chance to use the toilet until I get home.
  17. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    And what was your point of asking if we would have a problem, if you don't have a problem making little children uncomfortable?

    I guess I thought you might rethink your position...

  18. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    So what if they held it? It is still uncomfortsble. I never sent my kids to school to teach them to hold their bathroom urges. Call my group of people shallow, but none of us ever expressed the desire for our kids to learn to hold their pee and poop when we talked about what we hoped theyd learn at school.

    As an adult, if you choose to hold it, then you do. But although you may hold it, you CAN go, and you dont pee on a schedule, in a line with other teachers. Demeaning, wouldnt it be?

    Im guessing parents are complaining about this. Why else would you have asked the question?

    And they should complain. We care how much our children learn acadrmically, not how long they learn they can hold their bathroom urges.

    Again, hurray for alternative places to learn and teachers who want to teach academics without tje other b.s.

    Teachers in our state have lost a lot of benefits and unions are not strong. Salaries in my part of the state are not high.

    Maybe the people of the state would care more about it if the teachers concentrated more on teaching academics and less about making them hold their pee and other non academic issues.

    You asked. I guess you wanted us to back you up. Maybe some do. I dont and would have gotten around it, but my kids were never subjected to this restriction.

    No offense, but you sound very cold. Caring, loving parents hope their little ones get kind, understanding teachers. Not this tough love attitute toward 6-7 year old littles.
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2017
  19. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    Their young children they do not have good control of their bladder even adults do not not at all. I get it you have an squeduale or an program you have to respect but their bodies do not care about it and if accidents happen well you lost that child for the day not the minutes he is at the toilet.
    Also this does not change when their teenagers also other problems appear that I am sure you all know of. Just leave them to go to the bathroom.
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  20. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Personally I think it's cruel to not allow little tykes to go to the bathroom. Not all of the little ones have bladder control by that age. Is it so disruptive to the class that it's worth the awful shame a little one goes thru if they wet their pants? I don't think it is.
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