Terry, in my years of experience spending time hearing teachers talk, I know exactly what this teacher is doing to you. Whether he is doing it in a calculated manner or not, I have heard a LOT of teachers do it and a lot of teachers tell them they are being complete idiots and worse than the students.
The teacher is trying to get you to stop being involved. For some reason teachers who are in middle schools feel it is there duty to make the kids think that they cannot rely on parents to help with ANYTHING. Teachers in the grades after middle school are often very frustrated because parents do not call, do not send emails or letters until things are really really bad, not when they start. Middle school teachers seem to feel that any parent who wants to know what is going on is somehow interfering with school and their job and that parents have NO RIGHT to know anything that is going on. They truly expect our kids to tell us the right info and for us to never question what our kids tell us. At the same time they do NOT want to believe anything that a child says, even if it is about a fact being wrong and the student has reputable sources to prove that in fact the student is correct. NOT ALL are like this, but middle school seems to be a magnet to this type of person. They largely feel kids in elem school have been coddled too much and they depend on their parents to much so the kids don't bother to try to understand assignments, etc.... A child iwth a 504 or IEP is often thought to not "really" have problems or a diagnosis, they just have parents who coddle them or interfere too much.
Teachers here on the board: I DO know that most teachers are NOT like this, but there is a persistent group of them that seem to often teach middle school years and they are amazing in their belief that parents should have NO input on what happens at school and should not question anything that happens or even have much info on the topic. They are a minority but they are vocal and often try to get sp ed kids so they can "help" them become more mature - by treating them like all the other kids and punishing them for having IEPs that expect the teachers to do anything different for them.
I have also heard teachers complain about this subset of teachers - in quite a few districts. One of the bad things about being a teacher's kid who pays attention to adults is that you hear all this stuff, lol.
Terry, the science teacher is trying to make you feel defensive and like a bother because he doesn't really want parents to know what is going on. He is acting like all students should be the same and be treated the same, and that parents should accept what he posts online when he posts it and not expect him to do more/different for anyone. He is deflecting your comments on grades not being entered and online class assignments and homework not being posted on the internet with criticism to make you feel out of line so that he can get away with not doing what he is supposed to do for all the kids (keeping things updated so kids and parents know grades and what is assigned and due when) and also not follow the iep.504 for his students.
For some reason they feel that by middle school all problems should be outgrown. TOtally bizarre thinking, but it is what it is. My dad always had the sp ed kids in his classes - even when he taught shop he had blind and deaf kids and they did the work too. But he knew that each kid in sp ed or just falling through the cracks needed something extra and whether it was on an iep or not he did it. Heck, he had at least one kid each year who was NEVER in one of his classes but would be sent from the sp ed teacher to him. Often they carried a box of books to him and anohter one back to their teacher - not because the books needed to be moved but because it gave a break and carrying something heavy gave sensory breaks that were needed. For a couple of years there was a girl who would just start to rage out of nowhere and would go through the halls banging things and fussing and fuming and sometimes yelling. But if she caught sight of my dad, even his back, she started smiling. Why? "because Mr.Susiestar's Dad will bite my neck." Of course he wouldn't, and she knew it, but he told her one day that if she didn't stop that nonsense he was going to bite her neck. She did. He didn't. But it worked on her for all the time she was in his building. Lots of times she would be all ranting and fuming in class and the teacher would send her on an errand past my dad's class and she stopped while she could see the door to his room. I thought he was joking until one day I was there with him and watched it happen.
Do NOT let this guy sidetrack you. You have EVERY right to know what the assignments are and when they are due. If he changes a due date it should be on his webpage and the online grade book. I am sure there is a district policy about it. If he pushed you on this, go to the principal and ask why you are told that you should not ask questions when things are not up to date on his webpage and gradebook. Let the principal know that you expect the teacher to comply with those and with the 504 and you will go to the superintendent if necessary to get an answer why he doesn't keep things up to date in accordance with district policy.
For a long time I thought it was just my dad's school that had teachers who do this. Then I saw teachers do it to friends of mine as their kids went to middle school. Then my kids went to our middle school wehre they do not even want parents ont he premises except for rare PTA functions (four per year. Period.) Several times they told me I had no right to go see my kid's locker contents, to talk to a teacher (even when I had an appointment with the teacher set up ahead of time - the office would not let me go to wehre I was supposed to meet the teacher and would not send a note or call the teacher to tell her I was in the office!) I actually had the principal try to scold me for going into the cafeteria because parents are not allowed int he cafeteria during lunch time. Yeah, that was his policy because he did not want parents to know he was the only adult in the lunchroom and he sat on his fat tush with a microphone and ignored the kids unless he wanted to yell into the microphone about something. Kids were literally throwing things around - food, pencils, pencil cases, binders, books, shoes, etc.... and he spent his energy telling me why I couldn't be there instead of telling any of the kids to stop.
So your best way to go is to not get off topic on what YOU should know or difficult child should tell you, but focus on why he cannot do something basic that is his J.O.B. he won't like it but he will get the message. And if he messes with difficult child, go to the principal and cc the superintendent of schools and head of the school board. It gets their attention. Also, when you ask for the info, mention that his legally binding 504 agreement says that this will be done.
Sorry to ramble, but thsi is what I HATED about middle school as a kid in middle school, as a teacher's kid listening to them talk, and as a parent of kids in middle school