He's got a job. Sort of ...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TerryJ2, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    He is being trained to sell cutlery for Cutco. OMG, this company has a sales spiel straight out of 1949 and hasn't changed it since. No one, I mean, NO ONE wants to listen to a 45 min. bunch of crapola about scholarships and whatever. *I* just want to know about the knives.
    Plus, they tell you to practice selling to your family.
    Okay, I can see the need for rehearsal ... but if that's where you sell your stuff, how do you *really* become a salesman?
    I listened to his spiel, let him practice (poor guy, was literally reading the script, dropping pages all over, plus he'd asked me to put out food to slice, so there was a tomato with-juice on the cutting board, a partially peeled potato, carrots, rope, and leather. He would come to a complete halt to remove something from the cutting board, set it aside, say, "Okay," and then find his spot on the script.
    It was so painful.
    And that was before I cut myself, lol!
    Sheesh, those things are sharp!!! It was only a fingernail, but still ...

    husband and I agreed NOT to be his first sale. I actually need a sharpener and sheaths, and a paring knife. But I said "No thank you," and am forcing him to sell to others first. I'll buy those things in a few weeks.
    He is worried he won't make it that long ... he said other people have hundreds of customers and sales. I guess they'll be the chosen few who get a free hunting knife if they sell $1,000 worth of mchdse in 10 days. I think that's an unreasonable goal for difficult child and he does too but at least he's giving it a try. He admitted that it's good practice. I told him that was a good attitude and that I was proud of him. :DThere are so few opportunities to tell him that. :(
    He actually has to wear "nice" clothes for the job, even when it's just conversation over the phone.

    We met with-the therapist and gave difficult child 1 yr to move out. That means he has to be working FT and find a roommate or two in order to afford an apt or room. He is supposed to create a written plan to show progress. HA! Like that will happen. June 15, 2016 will pop up and he'll be out on the doorstep and wonder what happened.
    If he makes it that long. He could still end up arrested for something stupid. But that could end up being his wakeup call.
    A part of me wants it (an arrest) to happen sooner, just to get it over with. Another part of me wants to get him into rehab. And the Pollyanna part of me hopes he'll straighten up and fly right.

    Meanwhile, he passed 3 classes and flunked 4. Still enough credits to become a senior.:confused:
    Still dating H, but arguing with her for HOURS over the phone. If he spent that much time digging up contacts to sell to, he'd be rich!
    And ex-girlfriend is now roughly 6 mo's along and showing. She is not planning to get a job, and is planning to study at home next yr.:cry::devilish::angry-very2:
    Her mom finally got a job as a maid svc supervisor so that's one bright light.
    He was supposed to give her mom $20 two wks ago, as a partial payment for a dr appmt, but the envelope just disappeared when he supposedly put it under the mailbox. :angry-very2::biting:
    (Speaking of which, has anyone here tried to take away their adult child's cash to show them how it feels? Does it work? Do they "get it"? I'm guessing it just makes them madder and makes things worse. Just wondering ...)

    difficult child got into a huge fight with-one of his "friends" last wk. They are no longer friends. It's so sad. And scary. He blows up and gets into the ghetto mode and it's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He's got this "don't diss me" attitude, and it's VERY strange. You can't question him or argue any point at all. I think it's equal parts Aspie, pot/drugs, mood disorder, and mostly, learned behavior where he hasn't had anyone bigger than he is whip his butt yet.
    Oh, by the way, when I told him how disgusting and vile his behavior/language was, he said it was MY fault (of COURSE :p:roflmao:) because I made him take the CITY BUS last winter to visit his (pothead) friends, and that's where he learned it. (Obviously, he wasn't listening when the psychiatrist told him that we weren't going to make any progress until he was willing to take ALL responsibilitity for his actions.)

    Not sure if the Strattera is working, but thank doG for lithium. And I think he smokes weed about once a wk. That's how often he has bloodshot eyes and is very tired and explodes if you come near him. He still smokes cigarettes, but with this sales training, he doesn't have the time to smoke. Yaaayy~

    Even so, I emailed Hazeldon in Minn... thinking about rehab ... haven't even pitched it to husband yet.

    I am going out of town for a week for a real vacation!!!! with easy child. Soooo excited. I will hear Temple Grandin speak in Mpls at an Art Therapy Assn Conference.

    When I get home, I get to take difficult child to LabCorp for blood and urine testing. Oh, joy. :annoyed:
     
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    JMO but as volatile as he is, I am not sure selling knives is a good idea.
     
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  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Ummm... I don't know if side effects and interactions are different in the US than they are here, but we were told that Strattera doesn't mix well with all sorts of other medications - including lithium. It does get to be a catch-22 with competing needs, but our psychiatrist says there are way better alternatives for focus issues (although none of the others are 24-hr stuff).
     
  4. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Our Difficult Child tried selling knives too, one time. I think it was that same company.

    Yes, they do want them to sell to family members and friends first. Hence the sell $1000 worth in 10 days push.

    I guess a few people must make $ selling, but most sell to their families and friends and that's about it.

    Our Difficult Child didn't stick with it.

    We were willing to buy a set, too, if we saw that he was serious about sticking with it.

    But hubby reasoned that most people aren't home during the day, and the ones that are--housewives with young children and retired people--aren't going to let this longish haired, scruffy, druggie looking young man carrying knives into their houses.

    He was right.

    On the bright side, I am glad you have a plan in place for him to move out next year. It will be difficult, but it will be the best thing for all. Hold him to it.
     
  5. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Oh the good old Cutco knives. I bought a set from niece 25 years ago and still use them. They were expensive but I'd say I got my monies worth out of them :p

    At least this Cutco gig is something. Unfortunately it's a pyramid type sales and unless you really hustle you can never make a real living at it. It does concern me that he has a temper and will be selling knives. All in all I wish him well.
    This is good. It's a goal, something to work towards.

    He's also going to have to figure out he's going to pay for child support and he's only got a few months before that happens. I know this has been asked before and I don't remember if there was an answer but is he sure the child is his??


    Good for you!! Oh how wonderful it would be to see Temple Grandin, what an amazing woman!!:likeit:
     
  6. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I don't suppose the x-girlfriend is making any plans for adoption?

    On the knife selling--maybe he will find that he is good at/enjoys selling. It can be a lucrative career path.
     
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    His medications don't seem to be helping him much. Is he taking them? You sure? You say he is still belligerent.

    I had to lol at the knife sales. I tried selling...what's it called?...Amboy? Amjoy? Long time ago. I sold mostly to family. They were being nice. After that...nada.
     
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    He's not selling much of anything. Very unmotivated. I just don't understand.
    Well, it could be medications. Or lack thereof. Or pot.
    Yes, he is taking his medications. He's actually been pretty decent about it.

    We had a horrible therapy session the other day. Everyone was angry. husband and I left the room and somehow the therapist worked a miracle and got difficult child on speaking terms with-us again. I think they talked about being overwhelmed and how to cut things into small pieces (excuse the expression, lol!).

    difficult child got his first check the other day. $30. Not sure if he cashed it. It's not showing up in his bank acct.
    He said he cut his ex-girlfriend's mom's backyard grass and was going back to cut the front. I texted the mom but she did not text back.
    She has also lied about picking up her daughter at our house ... she sleeps on the couch overnight (the daughter, not the mom :) ). It is very inappropriate, regardless of the pregnancy. No boundaries anywhere.
    She was picked up on time tonight and last night. I have to stay on the mom's case. If she doesn't get her by 9 or so, I take her home. If it gets later than that, we fall asleep and then it's too late.
    I am going down right now to make sure that difficult child is off the couch. He slept in his bed last night. Finally.
    Ex girlfriend has been using our kitchen to practice cooking skills, too. I have no more eggs left. Grr.
    Like I said, no boundaries.
    When I leave for a bit to visit Cousin P at the nursing home, I come home and there are pots and pans all over. But the kids are getting slightly better at putting things in the sink and washing them. I also told ex girlfriend that if she leaves out food with-o wrapping it, I will throw it away.
    She's learning ... slowly ...
    Not sure if she knows that difficult child has to move out mid-June, 2016.

    I'm invited to her baby shower on Sat. How uncomfortable is that? I'm not going, but I did buy a gift. I am making difficult child give her something, too. Just a $4.99 package with-3 plastic containers for snacks, which is all he can afford. I think he needs to see real, tangible items and make this REAL.
    (No, he is not invited to the shower. I just decided he had to give a small gift.)

    Some of the things he told me about Cutco were incorrect. It's not *quite* as bad as he made it out to be ... a few misunderstandings.
    But he's got to get out there and sell. It's not his kind of job. I wonder how long it will take him to give up?
    I called him today while I was on the road--saw a sign for a pancake place that was hiring cashiers and pkng lot attendants. He insisted he doesn't want two jobs. WANT? No choice, buddy.

    Drug testing next week. Psychiatrist appointment the following week.

    by the way, my vacation was wonderful. I needed it so badly!
     
  9. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I hope that you and by you I mean me too, learn to deal with our Difficult Child's from the head and not the heart. Emotional parenting is just to damaging to them and to us.
     
  10. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    I would be completely useless at trying to sell anything.

    I am in awe of anyone who even tries to succeed at a sales job.
     
  11. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    Terry, maybe he will learn something useful at this Cutco job. I have had several friends who have done this, and it is usually very short-lived in the best of circumstances. However, the knives are good.

    Too bad they don't choose another distribution channel because I don't care HOW good they are, I'm not sitting through one of those presentations.

    The other day a friend texted me and about five other people asking if we would indulge this young girl who is starting to sell Cutco knives. I said: Thank you, but no.

    I feel for the young girl, but I feel for myself more. Lol.

    Anyway, every effort made can be the next good step forward and I hope this will be for him.

    Personally, I think he needs to go after the pancake place job instead. : )

    June 2016??? Like a whole year away from now? That sounds like a loooooonnnngggg time for YOU. Can you handle it that long?

    Warm hugs today.
     
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is nearly impossible to be a success with Cutco. Failing at that is the overwhelming norm - they are about legendary for the lack of success of their salespeople. They were an example of how not to sell a product using MLM when I was in college, and they still are being used for that by professors I know.

    I got a pair of their kitchen scissors as a wedding gift. Most useless, hard to use pair of scissors I ever saw. A friend also got a pair. Her hubby put them in the dishwasher with-o separating them and they rusted together. In one washing - they had only gotten them the day before!

    I am sorry about the exgf always being at your home. Her mom sounds pretty useless. Sounds like you are raising both the exgf and her mom in addition to your own Difficult Child. What a nuisance!

    I am glad your vacation was good! You needed it!
     
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes, it is one of the world's most horrible sales pitches.
    I'm tempted to tell difficult child that I will voluntarily rewrite his script.
    But only just tempted. :)
    He has two appointments tomorrow.

    Yes, in regard to moving out, I am talking about mid-June next yr. If we all last that long. I am hoping that he will straight up and fly right at the very least, because of the baby.
     
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    So I guess adoption is out huh?
     
  15. Freedom08

    Freedom08 Member

    I worked for Cutco during one of my summers off from school. I think they are very calculating. They hire these young kids and have them sell to everyone in their family and friends but once that dries up they let you go. Some of the kids I worked with did very well branching out to non family but the majority did not. The product is pretty good, my parents still have the set I sold them 24 years ago and still use it everyday. And yes rewrite that terrible script!! It sounds like progress for him and that's great

    Hugs!
     
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    He knows that it's a bad biz model but of course, he still sees that he can make money.
    I am royally ticked that he cashed his first check and spent it entirely on himself.
    We are going to have a Come to Jesus Meeting.:devilish::dead:
     
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Susiestar, I hope you sent the scissors back. That is really weird about the rust. I've had mine for several yrs and they are my fave scissors in the whole world.
     
  18. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Until I read this I had not heard of Temple Grandin. Just now I read about her on Wikipedia and was impressed and interested.

    She has said, apparently, that the emotional part of others that makes them want intimate relationships is not part of her. And yet she seems so gifted with empathy and compassion and care. And she seems to so touch others.

    I wonder if she has pets. I wonder what her friendships are like. I would like to learn more about her. Thank you very much.
     
  19. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    1. Cutco: well.
    Blacksmith is a knifemaker. If you like one of theirs, you could contact him and get a similar custom knife, hand made, a work of art, discounts for active, retired or disabled military, that will keep its edge for a long, long time. Same or cheaper than Cutco. Their stuff is pricey and decent enough but kind of a joke in the world of bladesmiths.

    MLM is kind of skeevy by itself regardless.

    2. One of the more recent scams sent to new parents is the "could your baby be a child model? Come to our photo shoot and find out!" scam. He sounds like a ripe target for that one too.
     
  20. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I haven't heard that name for years. I had a boyfriend who sold Cutco (briefly) in college forty years ago.

    Same story as the rest . . . sold to friends and family and then ran out of customers.

    I have a hard time imagining one of our D C's having the discipline and self-motivation that it would take to be a successful cold-call salesperson.

    That year is going to seem interminable.

    {{{Hugs}}}

    ~Kathy
     
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