B
bran155
Guest
Hello my friends. I hope all of you had a nice holiday. Mine was pretty good.
Christmas Eve was a bit difficult but I got through it. I stayed home with my husband, we cleaned out my son's playroom. My sister took my son to my aunt's house. My nephew and son were so excited for Christmas morning they didn't fall asleep until around 2 am!! That's when me and my sister put our elf costumes on and went to work. We didn't finish bringing all of the presents from my mom's house to ours until around 4 am. My nephew woke up around 4:45 to open his gifts!!! So I watched him open all of his and then waited until my son woke up, around 8 and we opened all of his presents. He was so excited, we had a really good morning.
Midway through the day as I was putting together something for my son my sister comes running up the stairs with my daughter on the phone. She wouldn't get on the phone with me. She hung up on my sister before my sister had a chance to give me the phone. I instantly began to cry and left the room. However, that only lasted a minute before I got really angry that she is doing this to our family. I felt horrible for literally leaving my son in the middle of what we were doing to go fall apart. So I decided that I wasn't going to ruin my son's day and went back to what we were doing. My son asked me why I was crying, I told him that I missed "B". My poor mother was devastated, crying and crying, which only made me angrier at my daughter for hurting us like this. My sister said that she sounded good, she said she called to wish us a Merry Christmas. She said not to worry about her she is doing fine. My sister asked her how she is taking care of herself. She said she is babysitting to earn money. Okay I'll buy that one right after I run out and get my yacht!!!! She said she went shopping for herself and that she is good. My sister asked her where she was staying and who she is babysitting for, she, of course would not answer those questions. She said that she is not coming home because she doesn't want to go back to jail. She hung up on my sister when she realized I was going to get on the phone. I had a feeling she was going to call, she does love us. I am very proud of myself for keeping it together and I actually feel much better today than I have in quite some time. I guess acceptance is the key, the more I just accept the fact that my daughter is choosing to live this kind of life the easier it is to handle. I must accept that there is nothing I can do for her now. I asked my sister if she sounded manic or on something and she said no, she sounded really good. When she punched me in the face and took off, I knew that I wouldn't see her for a long time. I just had that motherly feeling. I told my sister that night that we either wouldn't see her ever again or for a long time. I guess mom's just know.
I have come a long way. A year ago I would have been on the verge of suicide over this, literally. Today I am much stronger. I am living for myself as well as the other members of my family. It's not just about her anymore. It still hurts but its bearable. Like I said before, I believe it's just a natural progression, we can only take so much!!!
Thank you all so much for all of the support you have given me. You really make this easier to get through, you make me stronger!!! I really mean that.
I have to run out now to take my son to spend his Christmas money. You know it's burning a whole in his pocket!!! I will check in when I get back.
God bless.
Shawna
Christmas Eve was a bit difficult but I got through it. I stayed home with my husband, we cleaned out my son's playroom. My sister took my son to my aunt's house. My nephew and son were so excited for Christmas morning they didn't fall asleep until around 2 am!! That's when me and my sister put our elf costumes on and went to work. We didn't finish bringing all of the presents from my mom's house to ours until around 4 am. My nephew woke up around 4:45 to open his gifts!!! So I watched him open all of his and then waited until my son woke up, around 8 and we opened all of his presents. He was so excited, we had a really good morning.
Midway through the day as I was putting together something for my son my sister comes running up the stairs with my daughter on the phone. She wouldn't get on the phone with me. She hung up on my sister before my sister had a chance to give me the phone. I instantly began to cry and left the room. However, that only lasted a minute before I got really angry that she is doing this to our family. I felt horrible for literally leaving my son in the middle of what we were doing to go fall apart. So I decided that I wasn't going to ruin my son's day and went back to what we were doing. My son asked me why I was crying, I told him that I missed "B". My poor mother was devastated, crying and crying, which only made me angrier at my daughter for hurting us like this. My sister said that she sounded good, she said she called to wish us a Merry Christmas. She said not to worry about her she is doing fine. My sister asked her how she is taking care of herself. She said she is babysitting to earn money. Okay I'll buy that one right after I run out and get my yacht!!!! She said she went shopping for herself and that she is good. My sister asked her where she was staying and who she is babysitting for, she, of course would not answer those questions. She said that she is not coming home because she doesn't want to go back to jail. She hung up on my sister when she realized I was going to get on the phone. I had a feeling she was going to call, she does love us. I am very proud of myself for keeping it together and I actually feel much better today than I have in quite some time. I guess acceptance is the key, the more I just accept the fact that my daughter is choosing to live this kind of life the easier it is to handle. I must accept that there is nothing I can do for her now. I asked my sister if she sounded manic or on something and she said no, she sounded really good. When she punched me in the face and took off, I knew that I wouldn't see her for a long time. I just had that motherly feeling. I told my sister that night that we either wouldn't see her ever again or for a long time. I guess mom's just know.
I have come a long way. A year ago I would have been on the verge of suicide over this, literally. Today I am much stronger. I am living for myself as well as the other members of my family. It's not just about her anymore. It still hurts but its bearable. Like I said before, I believe it's just a natural progression, we can only take so much!!!
Thank you all so much for all of the support you have given me. You really make this easier to get through, you make me stronger!!! I really mean that.
I have to run out now to take my son to spend his Christmas money. You know it's burning a whole in his pocket!!! I will check in when I get back.
God bless.
Shawna