gcvmom
Here we go again!
My friend S came to our board meeting last night and pulled me aside to tell me that her 22yo bipolar daughter, who consistently goes off her medications and just as consistently loses jobs because of that choice, and who has moved back home this past year because of her financial instability (as much as her psychiatric instability) just told her that she's pregnant by the guy she's been "hanging out with/dating" for the past six months or so. S's head is spinning at this point. And in the same breath, her difficult child told her that they were actually thinking of getting married this coming December, but hadn't told anyone yet (this was before she found out she was pregnant), so how about a September wedding, mom, before I start to really show?
So now S is starting preparations to host a September wedding at her home, with dress shopping to start this week. Thankfully, the boyfriend is gainfully employed as a cop nearby, owns a house, and seems to be 100% on board with all of it. He hasn't told his parents yet -- about the pregnancy OR the wedding -- and is waiting for them to get back in town from their vacation S and her husband gave the boyfriend all the NAMI handouts they have about bipolar, explained her problems with taking medications, how she'll REALLY need to go right back on them as soon as the baby is born (looks like a mid-March due date), and he's telling them he's fine with all of it.
I suggested they just wait until after the baby is born to worry about the wedding, but she said that would not fly with her family.
Fortunately, they are in a reasonably good financial position to pull all this off for their difficult child, but the stress of it doesn't go away just because you can swing the finances. So I'm asking for some postive thoughts, vibes, bead rattling, prayers of support from this wonderful source of power we all have here so that my dear S doesn't completely fall apart over the next few months.
P.S. Her difficult child immediately starting telling her "Mom, I want to get hair extensions for the wedding, and I want this and I want that," to which S replied, "Honey, this is what I can afford to do, and if you want anything extra, you need to talk to your husband-to-be about it." I think part of her is happy to have someone else take responsibility for this girl/woman, but I just hope the marriage sticks and she doesn't find her difficult child AND a grandbaby back on her doorstep in two years when the honeymoon is over.
So now S is starting preparations to host a September wedding at her home, with dress shopping to start this week. Thankfully, the boyfriend is gainfully employed as a cop nearby, owns a house, and seems to be 100% on board with all of it. He hasn't told his parents yet -- about the pregnancy OR the wedding -- and is waiting for them to get back in town from their vacation S and her husband gave the boyfriend all the NAMI handouts they have about bipolar, explained her problems with taking medications, how she'll REALLY need to go right back on them as soon as the baby is born (looks like a mid-March due date), and he's telling them he's fine with all of it.
I suggested they just wait until after the baby is born to worry about the wedding, but she said that would not fly with her family.
Fortunately, they are in a reasonably good financial position to pull all this off for their difficult child, but the stress of it doesn't go away just because you can swing the finances. So I'm asking for some postive thoughts, vibes, bead rattling, prayers of support from this wonderful source of power we all have here so that my dear S doesn't completely fall apart over the next few months.
P.S. Her difficult child immediately starting telling her "Mom, I want to get hair extensions for the wedding, and I want this and I want that," to which S replied, "Honey, this is what I can afford to do, and if you want anything extra, you need to talk to your husband-to-be about it." I think part of her is happy to have someone else take responsibility for this girl/woman, but I just hope the marriage sticks and she doesn't find her difficult child AND a grandbaby back on her doorstep in two years when the honeymoon is over.