I came across this site after looking up what to do when your preteen leaves the house without permission. While he currently has ADHD & ODD, it is very concerning he is inching his way up to getting a Conduct Disorder diagnosis if things don't improve soon. He also has life threatening medical conditions, which increase safety risk when he leaves home without permission.
Essentially, escalating since 10yo, he gets into anything and everything he wants from sneaking food and electronics to outright stealing money and belongings from everyone in house. He'll even wake himself up in the middle of the night to "prowl" while everyone is asleep. He is constantly disruptive in class and has had recent suspensions. It appears he may steal outside of the home as well. He lies and is verbally abusive when he doesn't like what he hears. He is of the mentality all privleges and freedoms should be given to him upfrnt vs the need to earn them. He is also very smart and can get around almost anything we lock up. He will break open a safe, hack into parental controls etc. He rarely shows remorse for anything, but every once in a blue moon expresses wanting to do better. He can be extremely sweet, affectionate and charming, but his general demeanor is a mix of funny, silly and grumpy.
We have done just about everything under the sun to help from calm to more tough love parenting. We have gotten him many medications that have not helped, counseling, used behavioral reward systems, and even called the police when we couldn't find him and had him hospitalized (not suicidal, but due to behaviors cause increased risk to self).
When he leaves the house, he may or may not tell us where he is going and if he goes, it seems he is just around neighborhood with friends or at a nearby store. He is fully aware he may not leave the house without permission, but takes what he wants when he wants and does what he wants when he wants, leaving us with very little leverage. We have done the chased him down to bring him home, blocked him from leaving or let him go and hope for the best. For those who have been there, done that with this sort of thing, what do you suggest/what has been successful? We want him safe and we expect kids to follow rules and not leave the house without permission, but in our area "running away" is not illegal, yet obeying parents is also a law so that kind of conflicts and he knows it and uses it to do what he wants. Aside from energy drinks he gets from friends, there is no known drug use, but is sneaking behavior is almost like an addiction it seems. He also is rarely aggressive but cussed his dad out and kicked him when prevented from leaving again earlier this week. It is incredibly hard to live like this, especially with multiple kids and balancing the "health" or best interests of all.
Essentially, escalating since 10yo, he gets into anything and everything he wants from sneaking food and electronics to outright stealing money and belongings from everyone in house. He'll even wake himself up in the middle of the night to "prowl" while everyone is asleep. He is constantly disruptive in class and has had recent suspensions. It appears he may steal outside of the home as well. He lies and is verbally abusive when he doesn't like what he hears. He is of the mentality all privleges and freedoms should be given to him upfrnt vs the need to earn them. He is also very smart and can get around almost anything we lock up. He will break open a safe, hack into parental controls etc. He rarely shows remorse for anything, but every once in a blue moon expresses wanting to do better. He can be extremely sweet, affectionate and charming, but his general demeanor is a mix of funny, silly and grumpy.
We have done just about everything under the sun to help from calm to more tough love parenting. We have gotten him many medications that have not helped, counseling, used behavioral reward systems, and even called the police when we couldn't find him and had him hospitalized (not suicidal, but due to behaviors cause increased risk to self).
When he leaves the house, he may or may not tell us where he is going and if he goes, it seems he is just around neighborhood with friends or at a nearby store. He is fully aware he may not leave the house without permission, but takes what he wants when he wants and does what he wants when he wants, leaving us with very little leverage. We have done the chased him down to bring him home, blocked him from leaving or let him go and hope for the best. For those who have been there, done that with this sort of thing, what do you suggest/what has been successful? We want him safe and we expect kids to follow rules and not leave the house without permission, but in our area "running away" is not illegal, yet obeying parents is also a law so that kind of conflicts and he knows it and uses it to do what he wants. Aside from energy drinks he gets from friends, there is no known drug use, but is sneaking behavior is almost like an addiction it seems. He also is rarely aggressive but cussed his dad out and kicked him when prevented from leaving again earlier this week. It is incredibly hard to live like this, especially with multiple kids and balancing the "health" or best interests of all.
To me it all comes down to what you will allow, setting boundaries as to what you will not tolerate in your household. If he keeps on this path I foresee lots of jail time in his future and also escalating issues that need to be nipped in the bud now before things get worse. You commented that you have tried everything under the sun to control him. I do not know what area you are from but here in Florida we have homes for children such as these. You must have records from the time you have called the cops that would be a great start to show his behavior. He may also benefit spending time in juvenile detention for stealing to wake him up hopefully. Some of these things are very difficult for a parent to even consider putting your child through but, must be done again to hopefully make him see your not fooling around, you will take action and no longer tolerate such behavior. Working with counselors at his school is a great place to start and they can be very helpful in determining what to do with him. Here, some children are placed for 30 days and then released back home. If your school counselor is no help I would start calling around and gathering information on places or persons that could further assist you. 
