A
AmericanGirl
Guest
Hi all,
First, thank you for being here. I've read many posts and have found a home among friends.
I am 50, a single mom and have one child who is 17. He is ADHD but it is a mild form. He is not medicated. He has become increasingly difficult to parent. As far as I know, he is not abusing drugs and/or alcohol. This issue is accountability, responsibility and attitude. For example, he believes he should be able to come and go as he pleases while I do his laundry and pay his car insurance. (Yes, he is living in a dream world.)
I've tried grounding. I've taken things away for weeks at a time. He appears not to care. He says things like "I can be homeless, nothing matters to me."
His grades tend towards Ds. He has plenty of friends. He sleeps most of the day and plays video games and/or hangs out on the computer during the night. He pushes back anytime I try to change his sleeping habits. He refuses to complete even basic chores.
His treatment of me is disrespectful and downright cruel. Last year, I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. I finished treatment three months ago. He would rarely help out around the house with anything, even though I was in the bed for days. He would complain I wasn't up. I returned to the hospital a few days ago for tests requiring anesthesia. He voluntarily went, turned the tv to a vulgar show, and repeatedly kicked the gurney I was lying on. When they took me away, he didn't get up and say anything pleasant.
This behavior scares me because it speaks to what is in his heart. It also angers me.
I feel trapped here with him. One thing I learned from the cancer is that I must make caring for myself a priority. That's difficult to do while living with him. I once adored him. Now, I wish he was 18 so I could legally toss him out. I'm ashamed to type that but it is the truth.
Yes, I have taken him to therapy. Many times. The last therapist said he wasn't participating in the sessions so it was a waste of time. My family thinks I should cut him off from getting anything from me over and above basic room and board, sell his car and tell him to find a job he can walk to if he wants money. I'm thinking they may be right.
Thanks in advance for any and all ideas. They are much appreciated!
First, thank you for being here. I've read many posts and have found a home among friends.
I am 50, a single mom and have one child who is 17. He is ADHD but it is a mild form. He is not medicated. He has become increasingly difficult to parent. As far as I know, he is not abusing drugs and/or alcohol. This issue is accountability, responsibility and attitude. For example, he believes he should be able to come and go as he pleases while I do his laundry and pay his car insurance. (Yes, he is living in a dream world.)
I've tried grounding. I've taken things away for weeks at a time. He appears not to care. He says things like "I can be homeless, nothing matters to me."
His grades tend towards Ds. He has plenty of friends. He sleeps most of the day and plays video games and/or hangs out on the computer during the night. He pushes back anytime I try to change his sleeping habits. He refuses to complete even basic chores.
His treatment of me is disrespectful and downright cruel. Last year, I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. I finished treatment three months ago. He would rarely help out around the house with anything, even though I was in the bed for days. He would complain I wasn't up. I returned to the hospital a few days ago for tests requiring anesthesia. He voluntarily went, turned the tv to a vulgar show, and repeatedly kicked the gurney I was lying on. When they took me away, he didn't get up and say anything pleasant.
This behavior scares me because it speaks to what is in his heart. It also angers me.
I feel trapped here with him. One thing I learned from the cancer is that I must make caring for myself a priority. That's difficult to do while living with him. I once adored him. Now, I wish he was 18 so I could legally toss him out. I'm ashamed to type that but it is the truth.
Yes, I have taken him to therapy. Many times. The last therapist said he wasn't participating in the sessions so it was a waste of time. My family thinks I should cut him off from getting anything from me over and above basic room and board, sell his car and tell him to find a job he can walk to if he wants money. I'm thinking they may be right.
Thanks in advance for any and all ideas. They are much appreciated!