3 1/2 yr old boundary & impulse problems

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by wvmom, Nov 16, 2016.


Are his symptoms impulse control based

  1. Seems like it

    0 vote(s)
  2. Something else

    1 vote(s)
  1. wvmom

    wvmom New Member

    Hello. My 3 1/2 year old son is struggling with impulse control & personal space issues. The daycare reports he is "the only one" not following direction, not staying on task, not eating lunch, running out of the class. He sometimes hits kids, like they all do at this age, but he's usually gentle & kind to people. Almost too much. He will talk to strangers & wave his hands right in other new children's faces and say "hi". He is overly intelligent, he can read words, spell, loves singing & music, has a superb memory and loves movies. I struggle because he almost fixates on movie characters and learns their names and talks about it too much, until the movie is no longer in theatres or being advertised. ex: trolls previews have been on for months and since, he's learned the characters & wants the toys from McDonald's (which he won't eat at). I don't know what to do. I feel so bad because he's such a nice kid but just can't seem to calm down in social situations. He often needs two eyes on him,as he will run away in pubic crowds, to do his own thing. No worry about being lost. He seriously runs into traffic, if he sees his dad pulling up, and we are outside. He is smart and he talks ALL the time. He will talk to anyone and will grab things out of their hands, hug kids he doesn't know, wave in their faces and so forth. I'm over the "he's high energy and a boy". I am coming to terms that isn't quite so. Feedback appreciated.
  2. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    wvmom. He sounds absolutely adorable. So much of what you describe sounds typical for his age. Like the perserverating about movie characters. There is a wide range of behaviors that, while not typical, by no means are seriously problematic or signifying underlying developmental problems.

    In your survey, I checked something else, not because I think he has some other problem but because he sounds so loving, and bright, inquisitive, high-energy, advanced and precocious. So entirely wonderful. What you may have is a genius child, who may be motivated to do wonderful things in his life. Look at Einstein. He couldn't read, I think.

    PS I ran into traffic well after his age.

    To get some control over the behaviors, like intruding on space (that are not good for him) if it were me I might go to a child psychologist who specializes in behavioral analysis. Such a person could help you learn how to curb these behaviors and to encourage others.

    Take care.
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2016
  3. wvmom

    wvmom New Member

    Thank you for the suggestions Copabanana. It means a lot to hear feedback.
  4. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Administrator Staff Member

    Welcome. I wanted to let you know that I had read your post and understand your concerns. My daughter was super shy, so I don't have any experience with your parenting dilemma.

    I do really relate to how concerned you are. I felt so very worried when my young kid was super shy. Hang in there. Parenting is a journey. Take good care of yourself and your quality of life now and in the future. I lost track of those concerns when my daughter was very young.
  5. Praecepta

    Praecepta Active Member

    Do YOU find these personal boundary violating behaviors unacceptable?

    If you do, what consequences does he get when he does these things when with you?

    If you find the behaviors acceptable as in "all the kids do this", then may want to realize that other kids in his school are not doing these things.
  6. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I don't think its normal either. Only my oldest hit other kids and he's 40 and still has problems.
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2016
  7. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hello. I woud be somewhat concerned. Internet forums are of course no place to give or receive medical diagnoses but your son sounds a little similar to how my son (who has quite severe ADHD) at that age, apart from the reading and fixating on things. I would think there is a chance that there is something deeper going on and I would start the process to get an assessment from professionals. Three is too young to be formally diagnosed with ADHD, at least in Europe, but you can certainly get a "pre-diagnosis", as I did at that age. The earlier the get interventions, the better the outcome for your son. It is the constant talking, excitability in social situations and impulsivity that would lead me to be concerned. It may not be ADHD, it may be something else or nothing, but really you need to take this seriously, I think.
  8. kim75062

    kim75062 Active Member

    Welcome to the forum!

    your son sounds a lot like mine also at that age, he is now 6 and we are no where close to finding out the real cause of his behavior problems. He has slowly and steadily gotten worse over the years. I would urge you to seek professional help now. Sooner is always better then later and even if theres "nothing wrong" it wont hurt to find out. you are his mom and if your gut is telling you something is not right then you should follow that. I got a lot of the same responses when mine was that little. Hes a boy, hes just hyper, its not a big deal, he will grow out of that stage etc. He is a hyper boy, running into traffic IS a big deal (mine still does) and for mine it was not a "stage" but a mental illness (still to be determined which one or ones). You can not grow out of any mental illness or neurological difference as far as I'm aware, it would be wonderful if they could though.