3rd try, Son diagnosed with ADHD today

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by melana617, Jan 22, 2010.

  1. melana617

    melana617 New Member

    Ok, this is the third time I've tried to write this, so I don't think it will be as long and drawn out, but maybe it will, I am pretty frustrated lol.
    My first ? is what are all the acronyms? The difficult children and such.

    Ok, so I already pretty much knew for the last 8-12 months that my son was ADHD. It's not hard to tell, even the psychologist says "he's pretty intense" And lately it's getting so much worse. He's 5 years old and his attention span is getting shorter as he gets older. He doesn't pay attention to anything, and is so easily distracted that his shoes can be right there in front of him and you still have to ask him 4 or 5 times to put them on before he focuses enough to do it. He is impulsive, OMG is he impulsive, I don't think that he thinks about anything he says or does, his mind thinks it and he immediately does it. About a week and a half ago he broke a $50 vase. I felt so bad I paid for it, the store wasn't technically open yet. A couple days before that he was following me in the store, and all the sudden he saw the movie section and was gone, I didn't notice till a few minutes later, and it then took me 20 min. to find him because he wouldn't respond to my calls, and this is not a big store either.
    He has come so close to being hit by cars, it terrifies me. I'm at the point where I don't even want to take him out in public because it sends me into instant panic mode. I'm so scared of what he might do that I don't even want to try. Oddly enough though I have adhd in my family, my sister was diagnosed adhd. I don't want to medicate him, and since I will not do riddelin, I'm not sure what his options are otherwise. We've been told he's too young for straterra. So we are working on behavior therapy. Doing 1-2-3 magic AGAIN, this time I'm resolved to stick it out. I tend to get frustrated when things don't work right away and give up, but this time I won't. I feel so so guilty, thinking maybe I've exasperated the problem with my explosive temper. I do not spank, but man I can yell....I feel like it's all I do anymore. My son is a funny, smart, loving little boy when his impulses and inattentiveness are not in the way, which is rarely lately. All I want anymore is to just get away from him, and the other kids. I feel tired and like **** all the time, I'm just sick of ALWAYS fighting him for EVERYTHING it seems. I'm not sure how to handle the pressure any more. Now that we have a diagnosis I am a bit more relieved, and understanding I hope. Thank you allf or letting me vent, this is the only support group online that I've found.
  2. agee

    agee Guest

    Hi there,
    I really understand your frustration. I have a child who is also over-the-top impulsive and inattentive.
    I'd like to know why you're against medication? I honestly don't know what advice to give you without it - my son cannot function without his medication, and literally nothing we do as his parents can change his behavior unless we first help him by tweaking how his brain works through medications. Do you not believe that ADHD (or whatever he has) is a neurological problem? I guess I need to know that before I can offer any advice...except deep breaths. Seriously. I need to remind myself of that all the time.
    Deep breathing,
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Who diagnosed him?

    Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist?

    Did he have any delays as a child even if he caught up? Any obsessive interests? Does he understand how to socialize with his same age peers or is he basically socially clueless? Have any sensitivities to loud noise, certain materials, certain food textures? Can he transition from one activity to another without any problems? Does he know how to have a give-and-take conversation or does he tend to monologue at people or just say "yes" or "no" or go off on tangents that are not in context?

    Are there any psychiatric or substance abuse issues on either side of his family tree? Even if Dad doesn't live with him, he has half of Dad's genes and could have inherited something.

    Many disorders cause kids to be hyperactive. I would want a more complete evaluation before I decided only ADHD was going on. As for medications...I think many parents and doctors are too quick to medicate, especially before they really truly know what is going on. In retrospect, I put my son on Ritalin at three and I'm sorry. It started a long long string of medications for things it turned out he didn't really have, and he did have side effects. Until you get a second opinion I see nothing wrong with holding off on medication. Ritalin and all stimulants can be and often are abused when kids get to be teens. My teenager abused them...they put them in pillcrushers and snort them either alone or with other drugs. Many kids get even worse on stimulants. Mine can't take them...he gets mean and out of control. They aren't for all kids.

    I'm not anti-medication. I just think you aren't quite "there" yet with his diagnosis.

    Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry you had to be here though.