4-20 is coming; what are your plans?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Mikey, Apr 13, 2007.

  1. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    <u>4-20 is next week. What's worse, it's on a Friday!</u>

    Has anyone here with kids who abuse pot planned on how to handle them next Friday? I already know that the crowd my son runs with is planning a major bash somewhere, probably while skipping school. wife and I haven't yet worked out how to keep our son out of the mix (if it's even possible), but we're working on it...

    Anyone else here having the same issues?


    PS: 4-20 (April 20th) is the "unofficial" pot-smoker's holiday. Lots of mythology behind the numbers, but basically its a day when all "true stoners" get stoned all day in celebration of their favorite vice. Last year, I heard of kids saving their money for a month so they could have a gram or two of some "really good stuff" on 4-20.
    For more info, Google is your friend.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    My plan??? I'll say the Serenity Prayer, like I do every day!
  3. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I never really heard of it until around a year ago. I'm sure my son used a lot of heroin that day!!!! He wasn't living home though at the time, so there wasn't much I could do about it and I'm not really sure if he was clean at the time or not, but there wasn't much I could have done about it anyway. Right now he is clean and sober and living in a soberhouse, so I don't think I have to worry about him this year, I hope.

    My daughter I don't worry about because she's so anti drug after her brothers antics.

    Maybe if you are lucky your son will still be home with mono and you won't have to worry about it. Not that I wish him to still be sick, but I guess it's a better alternative to what he could go out and do.
  4. CAmom

    CAmom Member

    Pardon me for my ignorance, but WHAT is 4-20??
  5. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    CAMom: see the "PS:" in my original post.

  6. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    :grrr: this is all I have to say on this :grrr:

    TYLERFAN New Member

    WOW :grrr:
    I've never heard of this before and I grew up in the 70's :hypnosis:
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Well, difficult child's preliminary hearing isn't until the 25th, so I'll guess he'll miss the big celebration this year---
  9. KFld

    KFld New Member

    That made me chuckle Katmom. I wonder if he knows what he's missing??
  10. mattsmom27

    mattsmom27 Active Member

    I didn't think this was a big thing, the whole 4-20 thing. Call me naive, but when difficult child told me about it I thought it was a local thing (here in hickville very northern Ontario Canada!). I was shocked to read this thread!!!
    difficult child was just telling me this morning that stupid stuff will be going on come 4-20!! Apparently last year a girl he knows in one of the local high schools called in a bomb threat to her school so that when the kids were evacuated they could all go behind the school to smoke pot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you imagine? Calling in a bomb threat????
  11. Once upon a time

    Once upon a time New Member

    :nonono: I'm sure my daughters plan to "live it up" on that day, although I will do all I can to prevent them. Never heard of it before until about 2 years ago. Amazing what these kids will do.
  12. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    Well 4/20 came - and went - with nary a whimper from difficult child. Didn't skip school, didn't get stoned, even came home two hours before curfew and stayed home all night.


    Not sure where it's all going, but for the last week or two he's been very easy to get along with. We don't push hard, he doesn't push back very hard, and we meet somewhere in the middle.

    As far as I know, he's only been stoned twice in two weeks, is still off the cigs, and has talked about quitting his current job in favor of something better. He even asked to go back on his ADD medications (gasp!)

    Okay, I'm looking for that anvil to fall out of the sky on my head any minute now....

    But seriously, in the last few weeks he seems to be working back into a somewhat more "normal" pattern (if there is such a thing). Of course, a few things happened as well: a teenage aquaintance died of an overdose (booze and oxycontin), another friend's parents announced to the kids they're getting divorced (Dad can't handle the three difficult child sons anymore, so is leaving), another friend got nabbed after prom for MIP (and his friend's girlfriend was already on probation/diversion for substance abuse and truancy).

    Maybe he's had too much reality? Dunno, all I know is that 4/20 went by this year, and I didn't even notice.

  13. Loris

    Loris New Member

    Mikey, that is fantastic. I'm glad to see there's progress. Really good news. I'm sorry to hear of his friend.
  14. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Hopefully seeing what drugs and alcohol have done to others lives is a wake up call and he doesn't want to end up like them. Glad 4/20 went by without a hitch for you.
  15. CAmom

    CAmom Member

    I was going to ask my son about this but decided not to in case he hadn't heard about it.

    Silly me...I heard him on his cell phone talking to several friends about how his program coordinator told him that he was going to trust him enough to send him (and a couple others at his house)home for visits, knowing it was 4/20, and that, if they returned and tested clean, they would be able to get a home pass the following weekend as well.

    I couldn't believe that, not only did my son know all about it, but the powers-that-be at his program--150 miles away--also know!

    All day Friday, my son's friends came and went, according to him, "to go smoke because it's 4/20." I have a feeling that that played into the fact that his PO told him that he was to be under our supervision at all times as opposed to his visit home over Thanksgiving when he was able to basically come and go as he pleased, as long as he was home by 10:00 pm.
  16. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Whew/phew, glad you dodged the bullet. 4-20 is a big deal around here too. Last year when difficult child was hanging with the drug crowd they all skipped school and had pharm parties (where you mix all the pharmaceuticals you can get and everyone gets high).

    This year those same thugs were at it again but thankfully difficult child has moved on to non thug peers. It was still a worry though and I'm not ashamed to say I watched extra close Friday.

  17. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">This year those same thugs were at it again but thankfully difficult child has moved on to non thug peers.</div></div>

    Even though it didn't go down as bad as I thought, that didn't stop him from going out on 4/21 and getting stoned with those same friends. However, he did come home when we found out what he was doing, he didn't turn around and leave again when we said he was grounded for the rest of the night, and he didn't even pitch much of a fit when he found out we flushed his weed down the toilet (he knew the house rules, so he didn't have much of a leg to stand on for that one).

    I've said it before - I'll take any progress I can get, as long as it's forward. And that was definitely NOT behavior I expected.

    But despite any other progress my son has made, the only friends he DOES have are his old drug buddies. And the harder I try to get him to see beyond them, the harder he fights to hold on to them.

    If my difficult child could move on to a different group like your difficult child did, I think that would be a major step forward for him. Unfortunately, he holds onto them like a drowning man on a life preserver.

    Every other positive change in his life occurred when he was ready to make it - and not one moment sooner - regardless of any threats, bribes, or posturing on our part. I guess he'll let go of them when he's good and ready.


    Until then, we'll continue to be supportive of his positive behavior, and deal with the negative issues as they occur. That seems to work best (for us).

  18. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Glad you grounded him and flushed it. I just hope it doesn't make him more creative in hiding stuff from you. I know my difficult child got really creative to the point where I believed he wasn't using anymore. Keep your eyes and ears wide open!!