Hi all - Just found this place today, and still reading through a lot of past posts etc.
Here's my story. My son is 4, will be 5 at the end of the month. He started displaying severe behavior issues at 3 - he has been expelled from 3 preschools and 1 in-home day care in the last 18 months. We finally took him to a psychologist who gave us a diagnosis of ODD and suggested we see a psychiatrist for medication. The psychiatrist gave us a prescription for respiradol, and we have not started it. I feel horrible giving my son drugs. I think husband and I are in denial about how much help he needs.
Anyway, we contacted the school district about Special Education - with a diagnosis of ODD, I assumed that there would be some help. The psychologist said that there were possibly day treatment facilities or something. Anyway, we went through the whole process, and while the school psychologist was very sympathetic, she said he didn't qualify since it's a behavior issue. Cognitively, he's well past his age - he writes his name, counts, does all he should. He can't start kindergarten until next summer though.
The original psychologist also suggested a preliminary diagnosis of bipolar, but said that it wouldn't hold up since that can't be diagnosis'd until he's at least 7.
So, I feel like a horrible mother. I lose my temper with him, and just this morning, it was like a mad house in here. He's super smart, and that's part of the problem. The withholding of privileges doesn't work, the taking away of toys doesn't work. Locking him in his room for timeout just results in destruction of his room and his toys. He doesn't learn from any of this. (I was reading the article on ODD in the other forum and thought wow! that's my kid!)
Today, we sent him into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face after breakfast. After ten minutes, he had done nothing. He was just wet - he had been playing in the sink. He likes to wash his hands with toothpaste because he likes the smell (it's bubblegum flavor - I'm not buying that again!) If we stand in the doorway and watch him, he gets upset and screams and cries and threatens us. So, for the most part we let him go by himself and take care of it. About 50% of the time, he does it okay. The other half.. well sometimes we can prod him, or remind him, and he can get himself going. Today, everything fell apart. He went to daycare this morning unwashed, unbrushed, and very nearly naked. (He finally agreed to put his clothes on just as husband was taking my daughter to school.)
This is deeply affecting me. I don't want to see him, I dread the minute he comes home, I hate getting up in the morning, and I find myself fantasizing about sending him to boarding school! I hate myself for feeling this way - I was abused as a child, and the only thing I want for my children is to feel loved, cared for and never, ever hurt or abandoned.
We just don't know what to do. To top it off, my husband was laid off 6 months ago, and we're down to cashing out retirement accounts to keep the house afloat. The school psychologist recommended a treatment place that has training programs for parents of children with ODD, but I haven't called because I don't think we can afford it. It's not covered by insurance. (Which we're paying $1,000 per month for that we can't afford anyway, since we have to keep COBRA, but god forbid something major should happen to our kids without insurance!)
So, we're stressed out about money, about our kids' behavior (my daughter is 6 and has mild AHDH, unmedicated since her teacher is managing it and her grades are phenonmenal), about everything.
Thanks for reading and letting me vent. I think this board will be very helpful to us in the future.
Aimee
Here's my story. My son is 4, will be 5 at the end of the month. He started displaying severe behavior issues at 3 - he has been expelled from 3 preschools and 1 in-home day care in the last 18 months. We finally took him to a psychologist who gave us a diagnosis of ODD and suggested we see a psychiatrist for medication. The psychiatrist gave us a prescription for respiradol, and we have not started it. I feel horrible giving my son drugs. I think husband and I are in denial about how much help he needs.
Anyway, we contacted the school district about Special Education - with a diagnosis of ODD, I assumed that there would be some help. The psychologist said that there were possibly day treatment facilities or something. Anyway, we went through the whole process, and while the school psychologist was very sympathetic, she said he didn't qualify since it's a behavior issue. Cognitively, he's well past his age - he writes his name, counts, does all he should. He can't start kindergarten until next summer though.
The original psychologist also suggested a preliminary diagnosis of bipolar, but said that it wouldn't hold up since that can't be diagnosis'd until he's at least 7.
So, I feel like a horrible mother. I lose my temper with him, and just this morning, it was like a mad house in here. He's super smart, and that's part of the problem. The withholding of privileges doesn't work, the taking away of toys doesn't work. Locking him in his room for timeout just results in destruction of his room and his toys. He doesn't learn from any of this. (I was reading the article on ODD in the other forum and thought wow! that's my kid!)
Today, we sent him into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face after breakfast. After ten minutes, he had done nothing. He was just wet - he had been playing in the sink. He likes to wash his hands with toothpaste because he likes the smell (it's bubblegum flavor - I'm not buying that again!) If we stand in the doorway and watch him, he gets upset and screams and cries and threatens us. So, for the most part we let him go by himself and take care of it. About 50% of the time, he does it okay. The other half.. well sometimes we can prod him, or remind him, and he can get himself going. Today, everything fell apart. He went to daycare this morning unwashed, unbrushed, and very nearly naked. (He finally agreed to put his clothes on just as husband was taking my daughter to school.)
This is deeply affecting me. I don't want to see him, I dread the minute he comes home, I hate getting up in the morning, and I find myself fantasizing about sending him to boarding school! I hate myself for feeling this way - I was abused as a child, and the only thing I want for my children is to feel loved, cared for and never, ever hurt or abandoned.
We just don't know what to do. To top it off, my husband was laid off 6 months ago, and we're down to cashing out retirement accounts to keep the house afloat. The school psychologist recommended a treatment place that has training programs for parents of children with ODD, but I haven't called because I don't think we can afford it. It's not covered by insurance. (Which we're paying $1,000 per month for that we can't afford anyway, since we have to keep COBRA, but god forbid something major should happen to our kids without insurance!)
So, we're stressed out about money, about our kids' behavior (my daughter is 6 and has mild AHDH, unmedicated since her teacher is managing it and her grades are phenonmenal), about everything.
Thanks for reading and letting me vent. I think this board will be very helpful to us in the future.
Aimee