Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by susiestar, Mar 25, 2008.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hey, I wanted to send a PM, but you don't have them activated. They have to be activated in the User CP.

    I will put htis message here.

    You say your 13yo pays for part of his cell, and that in your contract it doesn't say you can look and see what is on his phone.

    Does it say you can't look?

    I would have a big problem with not being allowed to look into my child's phone. As his parents, it is our JOB to snoop. To find out what they are doing, and to adjust our expectations, rules, and consequences appropriately.

    I think your husband was way off base. It sounds like you were right to snoop, your son may be quite involved, esp with the tone of the messages,e tc...

    You may want to add to the contract that you WILL snoop. Or let it go, check it anyway, and deal with it when the messages/calls become an issue.


  2. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Hey there Susie! Sorry about the PM, I deactivated it shortly after becoming a member here.....I got a few messages I wasn't comfortable with.

    Anyway, sorry I babbled on so much replying to your post....I have a bad habit of that & thing is, it takes me forever to do it because I am up & down from the computer so much. I just looked over the contract I wrote up for him. I does NOT say I can, but it doesn't say I can't either. It does say that we can take it from him at any given moment if we suspect he is not being responsible with it in all areas. I have told him that I have access to everything on his phone through the company & online (he didn't act like he had a problem with that). I just feel like I should be able to snoop all I want.....it's my job! My husband just feels that easy child has no privacy at all. He spends 99% of his time he is in the house in his room because of difficult child, I'm hard on him constantly monitoring his grades daily & I don't let him do many things with his friends becasue I'm scared he will fall into the wrong crowd. I think what husband meant by his comment is that I should talk to easy child about his messages & such, letting him know that I'm still monitoring them instead of snooping after he went to sleep.

    Thanks for the advice. I have the contract right here & will update it.

    Thanks again!:D
  3. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Geez....reading that back it didn't sound right. I meant....sorry I babble so much in any post/reply. Hoping I don't babble as much in this reply to you.

    I think my brain is overly tired today. Sorry ;)
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I understand about the pms. I am sorry that people left messages you were not comfortable with though. Often if you send a message to the moderator(s) for the forum or for Cheryl (the site owner) they can help with that kind of thing.

    I agree with you on being able to look at it when and where ever.

    At 13 how much privacy does a kid need? I never have been able to answer that for my kids. I know that each kid gets different amounts of privacy, privileges, etc depending on THEIR behavior. I don't feel the need to provide X just because older had X at age Q. A sibling might not ever get whatever it is or might get a lot more, or less of it.

    I think the privacy is where you really have to follow your instincts. It stinks sometimes to have to cope iwth all of that.

    Can you get the content of texts online or somehow through the cell phone company?? We don't text, I don't like bills I can't predict each month. And we can't afford the unlimited texting packages. MAYBE if I could read all the texts online I would go ahead and try it. I think husband would be my biggest problem child with that, LOL!!

    I just get scared for our kids. 13 seems so very young. My Jess is 12, and while she is mature for her age, she is still young, Know what I mean??

    Sounds like you have it covered.