a better day

[Jena]

and yea silly to be excited yet at this point i'll grab anything i can.

first easy child came home for me so i could run to store alone, get some air and some peace of mind. she also walked our dog who didnt' go out again.

i was only gone 40 min. yet it really helped. we were due at hospital today again for her check up. yet because of yesterday and being at e.r. all day we rescheduled to tmrw at 10 a.m. kinda bites gotta get on road by 8 due to traffic here.

anyway, i thought how can i get the protein she needs into the shakes? i bought chocolate whey protein in a can. added that, vanilla frozen yogurt to cut down sugars and have more cultures, than some vanilla, and used chocolate instant pudding for flavor and to get rid of whey taste. oh and whole milk. in one shake i got 660 calories in there. which means she can forego dinner shake and i can just find something small for her to drink. to add up to 1,500 for today.

yea silly but the other shakes were only like 400 or so.

also i finally got an appointment. for an o.t. evaluation gotta wait till nov. 19th yet still got it. and i also am still fighting with-therapy place their saying she needs more intensive jerks. so i found a place the same place as Occupational Therapist (OT). that handles refeeding therapy for kids with food phobias.

so little by little keeping my fingers crossed. i was pretty anxious this morning myself. heart was beating out of my chest. was eyeing up the xanax i havent' taken yet. but i meditated and luckily for now got me under control again. we'll c for how long

 

[Shari]

That's great. Glad you got a break and hope things continue down the smooth path.

One thing...and its minor and I don't want you to take it the wrong way, but...would it possibly help difficult child if she saw you get help from an rx? I know you don't like to take them, and she's not really one who refuses medications, but maybe it would help difficult child to see that you're open to receiving that kind of help yourself?

Just a thought. An absolute random grasp at a straw that popped into my head.

Please don't beat me.

 

[Jena]

i'll put my stick away was going to grab it lol. she's compliant with-medications so far so that isnt' a problem, everything else is. i wouldn't take medication to role model medications to her. you know what i mean?? if i was panick attacking all day, haven't had one yet. if i was unable to call the docs, fight the fights, sit with-her for hours at a time. yea than i'd pop the xanax bigtime. yet with my heart issues its' safer to use the meditation junk.

i'd love to medicate for my obsessive thinking yet i dont' wanna play with-new medication while working with-her.

 

[Bunny]

I'm glad to hear that today was better. I'll keep my fingers crossed for tomorrow for you.

Pam

 

[HaoZi]

A little "me time" can really rejuvenate, glad you got some! Is she liking the new shake?

 

[Andy]

Lots of good things to reflect on today - Good of easy child to help you out - good that you got a break to shop - good that you are figuring out how to make calorie loaded shakes - good to have an o.t. evaluation - good for finding a refeeding therapy place - good for finding control through meditation.

Keep going!!!

 

[Jena]

no she hated shake!!! ugh! and the next two i made after that. little difficult child is in shut down mode again. gotta love my little roller coaster ride girl!

so i said here's the deal something's going down your throat tonight, what'll it be go thru cabinets and you pick and i'll check out calories. meanwhile i spent a fortune at store again seriously this is breaking the bank lately.

so she picks out tomatoe soup. i had whole milk and heavy cream. she completes. than i gave her huge bowl of frozen vanilla yogurt that she sprinkled a hot chocolate packet on because hey she wanted to! not what i was hoping for today. yet she got her water down today and a hot chocolate bowl of soup and frozen yogurt. we're short for our calories today. yet again hopeful i am hopeful

 

[Shari]

Sorry, forgot about the other health issue.

Normally I wouldn't role model medications, either, but sometimes I think we get stuck in the thinking of "there's nothing wrong with me that I can't handle, you, on the other hand..." and I think it does rub off on the kiddos sometimes. I just dont think it hurts them to see mom's and dad's go to tdocs or take zoloft to help them out if needed.

Just my .02 again.

Don't beat me, again. lol

 

[Jena]

oh my god i'm going back into the closet for the broom!!! LOL. why do i seem like im cracking up, maybe losing it?? LOL

i just told husband i need dinner and drinks SOON out with-you in something other than my sneakers and my running pants (yea ok me running, now that's funny)

hey, i can role modeling drinking a frozen margarita?

seriously though trust me when i've reached my limit i'll be popping them. i teeter by so far so good with-the meditation. have you ever done it? if you can get into the zone and just lose yourself in nothingness for a bit it's sooo relaxing

 

[Shari]

I'm glad you're cracking up, cause that's the mood I've been in all day!

And yeah, I also beleive in modeling responsible drinking! So if my approval means anything.....! lol (YOU BETTER NOT NEED MY APPROVAL, YOUNG LADY! ROFLMAO)

 

[Jena]

i'm going to APPROVE myself all the way to the garage where we hid a box of red wine leftover from wedding. i can't handle red wine though, i take two sips and im speaking latin it's absurd!! I just dont' drink often enough, that's the problem.

Sooo pathetic husband and i sit in our bathroom on the flr. it's a ranch house so we're afraid to wake difficult child by going into living room or dining room. we sit on flr. 2 40 year old adults and drink tea usually.........yet tonite it will be red wine!! LOL

 

[Shari]

Sounds like a good time.

I used to hang out in the chicken house, so who am I to judge...

 

[HaoZi]

Hey, every couple has to have some tradition that's all their own, right?

 

[Jena]

a chicken house! see that's why NY bites. i want a goat i want a chicken house a really big horse in my backyard. i'm telling you i was switched at birth and given to the wrong set of parents!!

 

[Shari]

The boys used to go out there and sit, too. What is calming about a bunch of chickens? I dont know. I have photos of them sitting on the floor of the chicken house with their arms sticking out, all 3 boys, side by side, with chickens sitting all over them. Don't know why it was relaxing, but it was. Still is.

I'll share my critters. I yuv them. They are my sanity.

 

[HaoZi]

Here even the cat and fish are a bit crazy. Cat channels Cujo, attacks ankles, eats the couch, etc. The fish don't hide like most when you go to their tank, they come right over to the glass and dance at you or stare at you.

 

[Shari]

Wee's housecat is...um...well....let's just say he's not the brightest crayon in the box. But sounds like yours is downright goofy!

 

[HaoZi]

Goofy? lol. I think the cat needs anti-aggression medications!

 

[Jena]

personally i love the smell of horse **** i dont know why. yet when i go to a farm i love love the chickens, the dirt, the smell of the horses. i'm a complete peace on a ranch.

 

[DammitJanet]

You might want to ask the doctor for xanax er...it is much smoother and lasts all day without feeling wonky. You can take it at bedtime and you just feel calmer for 24 hours. Its not one of those that make you a bit zoned out for a little while then you are right back to the anxiety again.

Try malted milk powder in her shakes. Or carnation instant breakfast powder. Or the new ensure muscle rejuvenation drinks.