I have 3 boys and a stepdaughter. My oldest is a easy child. My second is a difficult child. He was actually my ex-husband's son from his previous marriage, and when we split, I kept the boy. Good thing, too, cause both his bio's are within 20 miles and have had little to no contact with him since. My door's always been open to them, its been their choice. In fact, he's in the military now, with a listed phone and email and facebook page, and they still don't have any contact with him.
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When my wee difficult child started showing signs of being like his half-brother, the difficult child, I went to my pediatrician. He was about 15 months old the first time the babysitter sat me down for a heart to heart about my difficult child. My pediatrician said "there's really not much you can do until he's 5 and having trouble in school". I left the office that day defeated. I had to muddle thru 3 more years before anyone would help me.
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I came here and relayed the story, and everyone on this board said "bologna! and here's the research to back early intervention". I went back to the pediatrician 3 months later, got the same result, so I got a new pediatrician. I called around to offices of therapists who deal with behavior disorders in kids and asked them for names of pediatricians who believe in early intervention. He's been getting help now for 3 years or so.
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I strongly recommend you do the same. With an internet connection, you should be able to google behavior therapists in your area. Most have general email that you can drop an email to, explain your son has behavior issues and you are looking for a doctor who will treat a child with behavior problems. You need a doctor who can prescribe medications, IF NEEDED (emphasize the 'if needed' so they know you're not just medication-seeking), so you'll either need a therapist who works with a pediatrician or a psychiatrist, or a combination of all three. (therapists can't prescribe medications if that's what your son needs, which is why you'll need at least a therapist and a psychiatrist).
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Other than that, beleive me, we all understand needing a break. Sometimes when you're tired things come off a little harsher than they were meant, and sometimes other moms and dad's here are in the same boat and desperately need a break themselves. I don't think anyone was getting onto you, just trying to give ideas.
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PM me if I can help you draft an email or anything to try to get your boy some help. He is a cutie. My little one's cute, too. I always joke its a good thing he's cute, cause if he were ugly.... lol Just kidding.