Sigh............. Well, I have to tell ya, I am feeling ragged. I have barely been up to responding to posts lately, and for that I am really sorry. I kinda went back to work after H.'s death with this manic gusto - and then ended up taking on more projects that one man can do. Once the projects are taken on, you can't just throw them to someone else, obviously - but phew! I am beat. I also decided to go to Seattle in 2 weeks for a training seminar - that could have waited until June - again, sigh. I am still feeling surreal and detached about the death, but my counselor and you guys tell me that is normal, so I am trying not to fight it too much. I got her Pooh bear from when she was kid out of my parent's house, and that made me feel better. And when my mom goes to Oregon next week she is going to get H.'s Paddington Bear and Snoopy - as well her books for me to have. Again, that will be good. We have set up a foundation for H., and my parents have asked that I oversee this, which I want to do, but yet it sounds overwhelming right now. difficult child is really becoming introverted, depressed, and agoraphobic again which is concerning to me. He had been actually going to GED classes before H died - and then the drama of her going missing, and me going up to oregon a lot and then her being found dead, just squelched the whole process. So now I feel like I have to start back at square one with him again. Drawing the line in the sand that he has to attend classes or get a job. Period. However, I am just really reticent about doing this, as I know it will just be such a battle. Again. I just have not wanted to dive into that snake pit again. When does it stop feeling like the world is focused on me for it's revolution? Anyhoo..........thanks for listening. and again I apologize for not being more "present" on the board this week.