A little advice needed about dysfunctional in-laws and what to do

[Mom2oddson]

father in law is having open-heart surgery. I found out last Friday from my Mom of all people. She was working at the church when my mother in law called to tell the Pastor about the upcoming surgery. No one on DHs side of the family told either of us about it.

I set a text to difficult child-S asking for information. I then told husband and he called his Mom to see what was up. Both EG and difficult child-S let us know that the surgery was going to be Saturday the 20th. Since when do they schedule surgeries for a Saturday? I knew it was a lie. And I got confirmation today on sister in law's facebook page. The surgery is on Monday.

So, do I tell husband what I know, or just continue to believe the lie that they told us??? I really dislike this family.

Oh, but on the plus side, the family that doesn't talk to me about anything, did sent a message through easy child that difficult child-S is just totally doing great! She's perfect in every way except for failing all her classes but that's no big deal. Oh and EG got her her very own car! Whoo-hoo for the perfect difficult child. (I know, venting instead of detaching)

Anyways, I'd love some advice on whether to tell husband or not?

 

[DaisyFace]

Pffttt!!!

I'm not related to any of these people and your post just makes me angry enough to slap them. What's the point of lying about surgery???

But to answer your question--yes, I would tell husband. Seems only fair to let him be worried on the correct day of the surgery...and/or to send flowers to the hospital on the right day.

 

[Shari]

I'm sure you haven't escaped some of the in-law drama in my world, so I feel a bit of authority on the subject (hahahaha)

I don't go looking for information anymore. In fact, I purposely avoid trying to find out anything. But if I do stumble onto something that either confirms or disproves something, generally, I let husband know.

Beyond that? Have Star give them dumb names and post about their ridiculousness. I'll laugh at it with you.

 

[Mom2oddson]

Gave husband his wake-up call this afternoon and let him know. I liked his response "Whatever".

And I'm very glad it is on Monday. I'm leaving tomorrow night to go see husband on the East Coast and won't even be in town. So there can't even be a tiny bit of "I should be there" guilt!

And Daisy...the point of lying? Control, power, maniuplation... all of which fits EG (mother in law).

 

[Marguerite]

I also agree about always keeping the information flowing. You should never join in playing their game. However, always preface your comments with, "I was told by..." so he knows where your information came form, so if it turns out to be not true (as can happen when you didn't get the story form the source) then you have already deflected the blame.

You and husband need to be a united front. Support one another. Because by being so manipulative and secretive, your in-laws are playing right into your hands. Who else is so supportive of husband?

Marg

 

[DDD]

Glad you did the heads up. DDD