I never know what to expect for holidays. I always say there’s a 25% chance I’ll get both of my difficult ones, a 50% chance I’ll get one or the other, and a 25% chance I’ll have neither.
I don’t have anyone who refuses to be around anyone else - unless C and S aren’t talking to each other- but finding them and getting them here is a logistical nightmare. Neither of them has a car or a drivers license due to DUIs and other fines they can’t pay. (Both of them have lost more than one car by getting them towed, not having money to reclaim them, and letting fines accumulate until the fines were more than the car is worth...sigh.) they are both in the city about a 30-40 minute drive from here, so more than an hour round trip for me. neither of them has a permanent address. And they are both so irresponsible I can’t count on being able to find them when I go down there. We’ll make plans, have it all arranged, and then they change their minds and don’t want to tell me outright so they ‘forget’ or turn their phones off. Then I end up waiting in vain where we said we would meet or knocking on doors in bad neighborhoods just to be told they aren’t there and no one has seen them. Or maybe I’ll get there and they’ll be stinking of booze and barely able to stand. Getting them to actually do what they say they will do - what they say they want to do! - is a nightmare.
E used to try to round them up for me when she lived in the same city, since it was sort of on the way and she wasn’t out much time if they didn’t show. But now she lives an hour and a half in the other direction, and I’m not going to put that on her. R wants nothing to do with the whole mess and I can’t blame her. The rest of the extended family is either near me or coming from the opposite direction.
So if I want them here I have to figure out how to get them here. We are hosting, and expecting somewhere around 30-35 people. It’s going to be extremely stressful just getting ready for all that without the added logistics. And I do want them here, but I get so angry that they make it so stressful. They can both be so inconsiderate. I’ve told them multiple times if you don’t really want to come just be honest and tell me - don’t put me through this. And if you change your mind or are not in condition to come when the day rolls around, at least tell me before I get in the car.
I think I’ll see if Uber is an option, expense be damned, and only send the car once I have phone confirmation that they are where they said they will be and are ready to go. Then I’ll cross my fingers and hope that they’ll be reasonably sober and will have showered and put in clean clothes within a couple days time.