A portion of my testimony to the judge in January regarding of difficult child's therapy:
Your Honor, we are all in agreement that he needs therapy. I think we all know that he hasn't done enough wrong to lock him up for an extended period of time and it is already decided upon that it isn't right to lock a person up for the rest of their life just because of what you are afraid they might do someday.
All in courtroom nod in agreement.
So, I just ask that I be allowed and have the freedom to seek out the best appropriate treatment that I can find for my son. (Mind you- he was already under a court order to get mental health treatment- I was seeking permission to seek out better than what they could provide-which was nothing more than a behavior contract)
They look at me like "why should this be allowed for my son"
Because my son might very well be walking around on a college campus someday at 20 or 22 yo.
They raise eyebrows.
And when he is, your Honor, I hope his biggest worry is whether or not he studied enough for the test and can he get to class on time. I don't want him walking around full of hatred and despair but if he has thoughts like that, I want him to know where to go to talk to someone about them and I want him to know that there is nothing wrong with getting that help.
They look at me like "ok".
But, your Homor, if he doesn't get adequate help, and he doesn't get that message about mental health treatment being the right thing, not something to be ashamed of, then God forbid what he might do. And if he ever did something so horrid as to hurt someone else, do not come pointing the finger at me. When the first thing that everyone wants to do is asked why didn't the parent do something to help this kid when they were younger, I'd like it known for the record, that is why I'm here. My son does need help and I'm doing everything in my power to get it. Locking them up to stare at walls isn't providing help and if that help isn't given it won't be due to my lack of effort. I do not think it is me that is in denial here.
GAL jumps up quickly and asked me if I thought my son was a danger to others.
No, not right now. My son is more apt to be a danger to himself. At any time that I am concerned about a potential risk to someone else, I would call in others. The only thing in this world that could possibly be worse than my child hurting himself would be for him to hurt someone else.
I doubt that I am the only parent to feel this way- especially in states where they want to treat the parent like they would be doing you too much of a favor to provide mental health treatment. A favor that the kid doesn't deserve. And that is definitely the attitude in this state. Someone- please tell me that it isn't that way everywhere.
My nagging thought is that they stopped institutionalizing people with mental illness because they didn't think it was right, except in extreme cases. They wanted people to be treated and allowed to live in society- right? Well, they never made sure that treatment is available. We don't have many options here in VA anymore- with few exceptions, it is outpatient or short term inpatient stay and the outpatient isn't all that great. So, it looks like the courts sometimes "house" people by detaining them in order to prevent bad things. Now, I can obviously see this if it is a child molester with a slim to none chance of ever being rehabilitated. But I don't think it is an acceptable substitution for mental health treatment. I think it might even be worse than housing them in an institution.
