ACCKKK! Was she even listening to me?!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JulienSam, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. JulienSam

    JulienSam New Member

    So I took Sam back to the children's hospital today for our first meeting with the therapist (social worker) recommended by the psychiatrist who evaluated him last week.

    Nice enough lady, but within 5 minutes I knew she wasn't the person for us. She kept talking about 1-2-3 Magic and rewards/consequences program from Russell Barkley's books (I have The Defiant Child, but haven't read it yet). I tried to tell her we've done that, it hasn't worked -- a few times, but it didn't seem to sink in.:annoyed2:

    Seemed more like to me that she wanted to fit Sam within the therapy box she's most comfortable with, rather than adjust her therapy to his specific needs.

    She asked me what I wanted out of the sessions. I mentioned that in addition to working with Sam, husband & I need some help in diffusing things before a meltdown starts and especially in dealing with a meltdown in progress. Mentioned that Sam's preschool teachers really want some direction/assistance in working with him in class.

    She then says that the things I want would be classified by our insurance as Family Therapy, and that our insurance does not cover family therapy. Talks about her hourly out of pocket rate, and then possibility of us working with a different social worker in the office who works under a different, slightly lower rate (complicated hospital merger).

    UGH!!! :furious:

    I'm getting pretty good at determining who can't help us, but can't find the right person who CAN help us.

    So within 15 minutes, we covered all we needed to -- so she filled the rest of the session by playing Candy Land with us. At least Sam had a good time -- he was winning when we had to stop playing.

    On a related note, the school district has scheduled its evaluation meetings, which will include a visit to the preschool. The staffer I met with said that the team members might provide assistance to the preschool teachers -- which would be GREAT. I don't know if Sam will qualify for an IEP -- we'll see.

    Perhaps the school might be able to provide a good reference for a professional who has worked with kids similar to Sam... and maybe a support group -- I would so much like to meet another mom in real life, face to face, who's dealing with this as well. But it is good to know you guys are here -- even if you're not next door.

    The day has to get better, right? It's not even lunch time here yet. :sad-very:

  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Sigh...I feel your pain. I've been on a medical merry go round myself lately. Believe it or not I was able to get into a neurologist, opthamologist, and chiropractor before I could find a general practitioner who would take me with my insurance. Ba humbug, I say!

    Anyway, when it comes to therapy it's important to find someone who will work with you as a family and use strategies that work. If she's stating up front that she uses a method you've already discarded there's little sense in returning.

    Hopefully the school will be able to offer some suggestions. I actually sat in on a child study meeting with a friend and the school referred her to a local mental health professional who centered therapy around The Explosive Child principles.
  3. Lulu

    Lulu New Member

    How frustrating. :( I imagine the co-pay was a bit high for CandyLand. Let us know what you decide to do next in the way of Family Therapy. I think that's where we are heading, but our visit to the children's hospital isn't until late March, so things are going rather slow here. Good luck with the school meetings. I too would like to find a parents' support group in real life.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sorry. It can take a while to find the professional who will work best with your family. We found a good therapist at Children's when we lived in Cincy. But we went through 4 stinkers before that.

    After we moved here we got lucky and got a good one right off the bat for the kids. But not for us, and once husband had a J-O-B after grad school, we had to find all new ones (our insurance co wouldn't pay anything unless it was for 1 of the 3 "approved" docs here in town - who ALL say they can't handle the kids!). I am still looking for one for me.