Adopted child with PTSD

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Seandmc, Jul 20, 2010.

  1. Seandmc

    Seandmc Guest

    This is my first post, sorry it is so long. We are a same sex couple who adopted two sibling boys 11 years ago and they are now 16 and 13. They were removed from their birth home because of abuse and neglect. difficult child is the 16 year old bore the brunt if not all of the above and when we adopted them the agency social worker said we'd just have to have him in therapy for a couple of years. During this span of time I knew he had attachment issues, you'd hug him and he was like a piece of plywood. He use to do some pretty bad stuff, he used to defecate on the school floors, he had encopresis, he would **** in his pants, he would save his urine in buckets in his room, the list goes on. His behavior has always been over the top and he always presented so many problems that I never had any affection for him nor he for me. He has moved from Special Education., to specialized schools for behaviorally challenging kids to a residential school that deals with the same, he does come home on the weekends. He has always been diagnosed as just ADHD with bad behavior. About 6 months ago his school therapist left and the clinical director decided to take him on. She is awesome and after the first couple of meetings she told us that he is not ADHD he is extremely PTSD. She has since been doing trauma work with him and he has been divulging some pretty bad memories. He has also been attaching to us like no one’s business, he now initiates hugs instead of being like a piece of plywood. I now couldn't possibly have more affection for him nor love him anymore than I do right now. The therapist specializes in trauma work and has been doing this for more than 20 years. She told us that out of the hundreds of kids she has worked with she said only three came from a background where she would term the abuser a sadist usually it is just ignorance, she said John now brings that number to 4. She won't discuss the stuff he has been through yet because she says it is too dreadful. I feel several things, anger at all of the clinical professionals he has been to that never picked up on the queues for the PTSD diagnosis, guilt for never picking up on it myself and now I am feeling hopeless and regret because we caught it so late. He is such a sweet kid right now who is going through hell and I want him to get better. Has anyone else been through this type of misdiagnosis? If anyone has a kid with PTSD who has gotten better, can you let me know please, I’m looking for a little hope. Thanks
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I think most of us have been through the misdiagnosis journey. I don't think it is too late to help him. I'm so glad you are seeing improvements. A big part of that could be maturity on his part and his deciding that he wants to heal.

    My son Eeyore is PTSD and he is so much better today than 10 years ago, he isn't even the same child.

  3. Seandmc

    Seandmc Guest

    Thank you and that is good to hear. I can see some of the maturity coming through, but I think the latter part of that statement is more true that he wants to heal. He definitely spills fourth with the horrible experiences he went through, he is reliving them fast and furiously. Thanks for the reassurance it helps.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Sean, welcome.
    Wow, he's come a long way! It is so fantastic that he is attached to you now. I am overwhelmed just reading your note.
    If you find out what happened to him, I DON'T want to know! I know I won't sleep.
    I have no experience in this, but wanted to welcome you.