Adult Child Depleting Parents Funds


New Member
I am not sure if this is an appropriate thread for my concerns but I just don't know where else to go to. My 32 year old sister has lived at home her whole life. The issue started as kids when she would daily steal small sums of cash from my parents. She has always lied about everything her whole life; even simple things like what she ate that day. She puts herself in and out of hospitals stating she has issues like cancer, which she doesn't. The best example I can give of her would be when she set up my dad's 50th birthday party at a casino boat. There was over 50 people there and I asked how it was being paid for. She stated her and her soon to be husband, at that time, paid for it all. A couple months later the cops are knocking on my parents door to arrest my sister for not paying anything to the casino. My dad bailed her out of jail and has been paying for his own birthday party as it was a $5,000 bill. My dad has ALWAYS protected my sister to the point where I find their relationship very awkward. It got to the point where I had to tell my mom that my sister and my dad have more of a marriage then my parents do. It upset my mom but she soon realized it for herself and about 6 months later moved to OK to be near me. Now my dad is trying to get all of my mom's 401K money because he spent all of his on himself and my sister. Not to mention that he allowed her to take his card and checkbook whenever she wanted. My mom had no idea this was going on until we started working on financials for their divorce. There was a $8,000 transaction that switched hands between my dad and sister within a few minutes being deposited from one account to another. Another $4,000 paid a park district for her and the list goes on and on. I am hoping someone can give me some guidance as to what can be done about her behavior. If there are any legal ramifications for what she has done even if my dad had knowledge of it; because my mom did not, she was not allowed to touch the bills. My sister put them into a financial hardship which is now causing an awful divorce and she is pushing my dad to get my mom's money. After my dad got a $240,000 settlement that he and my sister blew through in a year. One of the biggest expenses was my dad decided to rebuild the whole basement so my sister, her husband and their now 3 kids could live comfortably with him for the rest of their lives. My sister has brainwashed my dad into thinking she is sick and so she shouldn't be responsible for her actions. She is a horrible person and needs some consequences for her actions. I just dont know where to begin to make that happen or if their is a legal term for what she is doing to their finances. She definitely needs some mental health as well but she has already been in and out of mental institutions. She just doesn't seem to care about anyone else but herself and that includes her kids. My mom literally raised her first child as she would leave in the middle of the night with no concern there was a baby she was suppose to be caring for. But that's another issue in itself.


Well-Known Member
First off i would be concerned about the children and if they are not safe call in the authorities. I know that is not ideal but better than something horrible happening. Is your brother inlaw any more responsible? Secondly both your father and your sister are adults if he already got a settlement does he still have any standing to get more? I would say get an attorney that deals in financial matters and find a way to protect what your mom has left. I don't have knowledge of the law but i would think a savvy attorney would have some ideas. Since your father and sister are adults i am not sure you can do anything unless she has committed a crime against you or your mom. Ask the attorney if there is fraud involved. I am sorry you have to go through this and i hope some of the more experienced members can give you some good ideas. Good luck and prayers are with you.