I have a situation that has weighed heavily on my mind and I am looking for advice. I will try to make a very long story short. When my mother-in-law was in her mid fifties, she decided to adopt. She adopted a 2-year-old boy "K," who had a significant trauma history. He was behind on all his milestones, had major eating issues (to this day only eats a few different things) and was the overly good child. He could sit in a restaurant for hours and not make a peep. "K" is now 15. He is a loner, will not participate in activities and is doing poorly in school and has been held back. He has had prolonged bed wetting and would get up in the middle of the night and urinate all over his room. His parents said it was a "sleep walking disorder." Since she adopted my husband and I have had 4 children. When "K" was 10 I caught him harming our dog (pinching and twisting his skin to the point he was whining). When he was 6 I saw him throw a puppy. Other relatives have told me he has done things to their dogs. Other relatives have dismissed this as "normal boy behavior." I was immediately concerned about him being around my small children. Several circumstances have caused me concern. About a year ago, he squeezed my daughters leg so hard so she hysterically crying. His mother said it "was an accident." He was alone for literally 10 seconds with my 2-year-old. There was a thump and she hysterically cried for 10 minutes. He changed his story 3 times about what happened. "She just fell." "She bounced off my knee." There are several more episodes of this type of behavior. His father told us he is a pathological liar and that no consequences bother him or change his behavior. He has poor boundary issues and will get within an inch of your face at times while talking. He was constantly touching and getting too close for comfort with my daughters. He has to control everything and bosses adults around. He allegedly tried to push his grandmother down the stairs. Recently, he began following me into other rooms to try to watch me change my small children's diapers. It's not like I did it in plain view and he glanced over. He would know what I was doing, wait a few seconds, then get up, go into the room and linger behind me trying to watch. This is a 15 year old trying to watch a 3 year old diaper change. Some are saying he's "just a curious little boy." This entire situation has caused me so much stress and anguish. My husband finally saw this behavior was abnormal, where I noticed it years before. But again, he doesn't want to cause a rift with his mother. I diplomatically outlined my concerns to her with his behavior and said he wasn't allowed in my house anymore. She flew off the handle ... called me every name in the book, smeared me to relatives and actually kicked my husband out of her will and shut off my children's college savings accounts. She has always enabled his behavior. If someone tells him to be respectful in their house, she will not allow him to go over there. If you even look at him wrong, she will get angry and refuse to speak to you. She feels he is being targeted just because he is adopted. I told her she could visit the kids whenever she wants, but I did not want him around my kids - this was about 2 years ago. She will visit the kids maybe twice a year for a short interval. She brought "K" with her once - completely disrespecting me and what I had said. She is very secretive regarding anything about him - most of these things are what I observed first hand, so I have a feeling this is the tip of the iceberg. Since that time she said she took him to a counselor "who said he wasn't a harm to anyone." I had always gotten along well with her, so this whole thing is unfortunate. We are on non-speaking terms although I have offered several times to sit down and discuss this issue. Deep down I feel like I did the right thing. I can't gamble my children's safety and pretend there is nothing wrong. Was I justified in what I did?