An update and some good juju please

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mattsmom277, Jul 19, 2013.

  1. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Hi everyone. I do read, and comment on other posts when I can. I haven't posted anything about us much.

    My Matt had moved back to our province at the beginning of the summer. He is miserable. I've only seen him a few days although he's only an hour and a half away from me. He is planning to come for a week, maybe two, then he is heading back out west after realizing it was a mistake to return here. His life is out there now. I'll miss him but I want him happy and thriving and hate seeing him so unhappy here.

    My easy child and I are moving Monday morning into a new rental apartment. This place is far too expensive and we've got a great deal on our new place. It's bittersweet because a few weeks ago my relationship of nearing 10 years ended. He was my best friend and I thought we'd grow old and share our entire lives together. Instead, easy child and I are now located 1 1/2 hours from our home town and we don't really know anybody here. It's a small town, but I actually like the little town. It is hard however without amenities and no vehicle now. I'm finishing up packing the house this next few days, as well as making sure all of S/O's things are packed separate for pick up Sunday evening. It's really hard separating our lives into different packing boxes and seeing and touching all of his things. I am hoping that the move to a new place with only our own things and no memories as a family there will help. easy child is just sad about it all. She believed in my S/O and doesn't really remember a time when he wasn't around, he came into our lives when she was quite young.

    If anybody can spare any good juju, I'd certainly appreciate it. It's a struggle financially right now, and more of a struggle to hold myself together emotionally. I'm trying to look forward and consider new possibilities for what my future could look like in my "new normal". Thankfully easy child was accepted to a full time arts major high school program so has that to look forward to starting in September. I'm a bit concerned about financing her needs for the program, such as quality photography equipment etc. I'll figure that out though. I'm more concerned about finding a way to feel happy and fulfilled without my best friend beside me. The end was unexpected and quick with no "closure" and really, there is no way to get "closure" anyhow after nearly 10 years when suddenly one afternoon things are still great and by that night, you are alone.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs: You know I am always here! I wish I lived closer to help.
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Many hugs.
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am sorry to hear the news of your breakup with your SO, it sounds like it was sudden and very sad. I hope your life transitions soon begin to feel like a grand new adventure which provides you with many new friends, financial prosperity, peace with your choices and love. Sending prayers and lots of ju ju for these big changes to turn out to be the best thing that ever happened...............lots of hugs too..............
  5. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Thanks. I'm hoping for the same, for good things to come. I've got a lot of thinking to do as I prepare to move forward alone. My easy child will be done school and on to Uni in four years and we all know how time flies. I'm determined to use these four years putting into place the things I must to have something solidly awaiting me at that point when I'm an empty nester single person.
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I read this on another thread, figured you would let us know in your own time. I am saddened for you, but you sound like you have processed most of this already.

    You never know what/who is awaiting you! You can not assume you will be single in 4 years! But, I know it seems an impossibility now. And you need some time to pamper your feelings. I wish I could take the pain away. But, seriously, we all face this possibility. It could happen to any one of us, too. Married or not. This will make you stronger. I am certain you are a strong woman already, but get ready to be invincible!
  7. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I am sorry about your breakup. Many hugs to you.
  8. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry to hear about this!! Definitely sending you good juju for your future! As they say, when one door closes, another one opens....(((HUGS)))
  9. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Sending hugs
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Mel....Im so sorry to hear this. I am crushed for you and Im not even sure what has happened but I know how close the two of you were. I am here if you need to talk. We go back a long ways and I have always felt so close to you in so many ways. Dang.
  11. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Thanks everyone. We were very close, or so I thought. He's been sober since I left him about 6-7 years ago for nearly a year before we reunited in his sobriety. That ended a few weeks ago without warning and I had to put him out. He's said some hateful things in our few limited conversations since, in efforts to defend his return to drinking. He's working all week, then on his 3 day weekends he is with his alcoholic older brother acting like they are out of control 18 year olds again apparently. I can't live that way/
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh no. Im sorry he (and you by default) are being hit by the abuse issue. It truly is the pits.
  13. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I am very sorry and hope you settle into your new place well.
  14. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    Very sorry MM. Sending you my juju.
  15. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sending caring hugs your way and also admiration for "accepting the things you can not change". Those choices are not painfree. DDD
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am so sorry about the end of your relationship. The two of you seemed to be a very good match when he was sober. Hard as this is, I am very sure that life has some wonderful things in store for you. I know you are patient and strong enough to make a wonderful life for yourself. Given your health issues, please be sure you seek out all the help that you can get.

    I hope you find many new friends and wonderful things in your new home.
  17. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I am so very sorry to hear about the end of your relationship...but I KNOW you are doing the right thing. You deserve SO MUCH better M!

    Congrats to your easy child and I hope she will get wrapped up in her new school and enjoy it.

    You are likely unpacking right now...but just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
    You are a strong and capable woman, M. You are a Survivor!

    Do loving things for yourself during this time...whatever sweet treats you can think of.
    Stay strong...One door closes, another opens.
  18. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Ditto everyone's caring posts. Hugs DDD