And now We wait

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by mrscatinthehat, Jan 24, 2012.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    difficult child 2 has had the civil commitment hearing we have been waiting for. Now it is time to wait for the judge to make his decision. This has been such a long road.

    We spent the last two days in the courtroom listening to so many things I would like to forget. I never will forget but I certainly would like to. The case is a precident setting one. Not only is it the first of its kind in our state it is the first in the nation. I can say without a shadow of a doubt I don't like uniqueness. If we heard once over the years we heard a thousand times we have never had a case like yours before. We had places tell us they learned from us and other parents won't have to go through the things we did because they know more now. Though I am grateful to know that at least some good may come from all of this it is horrible that we had to be the ones that set so many things in motion.

    Today I think most of the juvinile court officers from all around were there. Some we had never met.

    I have a lot of respect for the attorney's that handled the case. Both the assistant state attorney and the defense attorney (from the state public defenders office of major cases) did an exceptional job. I can't fault either one for their professionalism in everything we saw.

    The state's expert witness was yesterday ans she was very knowledgeable and I liked her very much. The defense expert today on the other hand almost gave me a difficult child moment in court. I did remain seated and only jabbed husband with my fingernails a couple of times. However if anyone could read the sign language I was using (I know the alphabet) they better never repeat what I was signing to myself. I know that sounds strange but it was the way I could yell and not get in trouble for it.

    The jerk today went so far as to try and say difficult child 2 was autistic. Now those of you that have encountered me and my posts over the years know that autism would not have slipped my radar. In fact I had checked out all the possibilities in the early days but it just really doesn't fit. This nimrod "diagnosed" difficult child 2 with autism from reading reports and a one hours session and a three hour session. Then in court he made several illusions to husband and I not being very good parents. That we basically abandoned difficult child 2 to the system because we wouldn't care for him. That was the deal breaker for my blood pressure. I looked at husband and indicated that when we broke for lunch that he had better step out of the way because I was not taking my time leaving.

    difficult child 2 actually was saying to me before he ever saw me not to go crazy. He knew I would be ****** with this man's comments. He sent his lawyer after me ( he didn't catch me because let's face it when a warrior mom needs to flee she grows wings and gets the heck out of dodge). Now does that even remotely sound autistic? I think not. But what do I know. Oh yeah a heck of a lot because I have invested what feels like three lifetimes going through all of the ups and downs of a difficult child life.

    Anyway, the judge said that he is retiring at the end of March so we will have an answer before that. One more holding pattern. No control. I have let go of the things I can't control but this is pretty major and I hope to heck the right decision is made.

    Thanks for listening (reading).

  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Beth I am so sorry. I know after meeting you and hearing all that went on that there is no way in hell's bell's that this boy is autistic. No way. It is just the flavor of the month right now. Watch, since bipolar has gone out of favor now, and its currently autism spectrum, in a few years everyone will be schizophrenic. They have to come up with a new thing to latch onto. Or they will make up a new diagnosis just for kicks and giggles.

    I know, or I believe, what you are attempting to get done is to keep your son in the system for as long as humanely possible because it is in his best interest...and in the publics best interest that he not be released when he turns 18. I do hope you are able to win this case because it simply wont be safe for any of you. If they cant do it the way it should go, they need to do something like they have done with his sister.

    Wishing you all the best.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    ((((hugs)))) Beth

    I agree with you about the autism. I don't recall any of your past post sending up a red flag on my radar.
    I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of this. I truly svcks being the first to break a new path.

    I'll keep you and difficult child 2 in my prayers.
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Beth... I don't have any wisdom... But I have lots of gentle hugs.

    And FWIW, from what I remember... Autism? OMG. Nimrod is a good name.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I dont know your story, sorry... but I wanted to let you know I read your post and am sending support your way.

    I wonder if this psychiatric(o) knows how much Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) has symptoms that look like autism. I have no idea if that is part of your difficult child's picture but when you read the symptoms they overlap in many areas. What do you think their angle is at calling him autistic? You think they want to get out of being responsible for him? Probably a dumb question, sorry. Just was curious.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I so admire your tenacity and dedication. Waiting is so stressful. Sending sincere supportive thoughts your way. Hugs DDD
  7. southermama3

    southermama3 New Member

    I'm new here and don't know your story, but what I do know is FIGHTING TO THE DEATH TO SAVE YOUR BABY! I have dealt with courts, law enforcement both civilian and military and a lot of "nimrods" giving their own opinion bc they think with their lil diploma on the wall their automatically right. I know how hard it is to not scream curse or just flat out b!tch slap someone. I have actually got into a physical altercation due to my efforts in helping my kids. It was the best $1200 fine I've ever paid.

    Stay strong stand up tall and never let them see you break. All of your determination will not go to waste. I applaud you for fighting for your child.

    Lots of love
  8. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Kelly, I was.arrested for terroristic.threats for threatening the guy that got my daughter hooked on meth and beat her. When I went in front of the judge, he told me if it was his daughter, he would be right there with me. They reduced the charge to.disorderly conduct and I had to pay 750 bucks....ah, the life as a parent of a difficult child....
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    PG... Sometimes, you get someone in the system who actually has some common sense!
  10. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Aw, Beth. I would have wanted to throttle the man, too.

    In the scheme of things, does it really matter what the diagnosis is if he's a threat to society? They aren't going to care what his diagnosis is if he re-offends. I imagine because this is a precedent setting case, though, anything can go.

    Keeping you in my thoughts...
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and good thoughts, Beth.
  12. compassion

    compassion Member

    You have a lot of courage. Thanks for sharing.