And Then, of course, There is Karma

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, May 10, 2012.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    As you know, Katie has stayed in contact with Nichole via snail mail.

    Nichole received a letter today which for the most part I found amusing.

    May we have a drum roll please???

    Biomom has come to live with her. Yup, moved right in. Seems at some point after husband passed she told katie she has really high blood pressure and an enlarged heart, made it sound so bad that she guilted the girl into telling traveler's aide that she'd let her mom live with her so they'd pay her way here. Now how she got biomom from cincy to here is beyond me, because I know they won't pay for that. She told Nichole that once biomom arrived, she seemed healthy enough. She'd also told katie that the shelter there in St Louis was closing in March (so evidently this was prior to March), which of course hasn't happened because it was made up.

    :rofl: :rofl:

    In this case karma truly is a motha. *snicker*

    Biomom, you see, is a 62 yr old difficult child, and if there is anything worse than a 32 yr old difficult child, it's a 62 year old one. hahahahah I have known biomom 30 yrs, trust me, she's making Katie's life pure hades on earth. muahhaahhhaaahhaaa

    Now, don't get me wrong. I like biomom just fine, always have, despite her gfgdom. She's not a bad person, just well.......let's just say responsibility is not a quality she has. Her biggest fault is she goes through money like she's a billionaire. Always has, always will. It was probably the only thing she and husband had in common, well that and they liked to drink. So I have no problem imagining Katie's money vanishing like the wind shortly after it arrives each month.

    And that is basically what she told Nichole. She said they were just barely getting by with Alex's disability and M's check (well of course he's still there) but now with biomom there they're really hurting. Don't doubt it for a minute. Katie told Nichole that now she overwhelmingly appreciates that husband and I took them in when they had no where to go. Said she's going insane with one person, she couldn't begin to imagine the stress she must have put us through with 5. (ya think?)

    Gotta love Karma. LOL

    Serves her right for leaving her Mom totally alone in a strange city, homeless, no job, no other family and crippled with arthritis to fend for herself while they came here with huge dreams of living it up. As for her health? I can't say if it's true or not. Given she is obese, has been a heavy drinker during periods of her life......and her main diet is chips, candy and cookies....don't much doubt it. When Nichole read that part I though to myself girl you just lost your Dad who appeared healthy enough, I don't think I'd be so cold hearted when it comes to your biomom's health.

    And my dear sweet Kayla has evidently gone off the deep end behavior wise since the arrival of her maternal grandmother. She had flat out told her mother long before husband passed that if her other grandmother showed up she was moving in with me because she despises the woman. I get no real information on the why of I dunno. She went from straight A's to becoming a behavior problem at school and flunking. She'll be repeating the 5th grade.

    But this has prompted Katie to not only take Kayla to a counselor (in other words a therapist, I know exactly where she's going.....and it's likely it is school mandated) but she's going to see one too. They'll do it separately and then together. Hmmm. Does anyone else find it odd that my easy child granddaughter is the one seeing the therapist for behavior issues?? Not that I don't think it's a good idea, personally I'm hoping all sorts of bottled up stuff comes pouring out. But still. Such a huge behavior shift.

    So beyond the lovely karma part, which totally made my day by the way............Alex will be passing to 5th grade next year, no surprise with his IEP. She says he learned his multiplication tables.....seeing how he was having real issues with adding and subtracting simple equations before......well, I hope he can but it is something he'd have to show me. Evan finally warmed up to his teacher and can spell his name, can recognize quite a bit of his letters and numbers and write many of them, but will be held back. No surprise there either. Poor kid.

    Kayla has a new fb acct. And it seems back in march she messaged easy child with the acct. But fb didn't notify easy child she had a message. And honestly it's a really off the wall name so she probably would've ignored it. BUT a friend of Kayla's had posted a funny picture onto the wall of her old fb acct. Since I'm still friends with that acct it popped up in my feed. And I saw where kayla was talking to her friends using this alt acct, no doubt it was her....they were referring to her as kayla. So easy child went to message her.....discovered the old message she didn't know she had. Then sent her message apologizing for not having seen it, told her she missed her, gave kayla her cell number and address and told her to contact her whenever she wanted to or needed something.

    Seems in many ways Katie has had a change of heart over the events that caused this latest rift. She kept gushing about how much she appreciated how her dad and I had helped them and she hadn't realized what a strain it had had to have been on us to do so......yet we still did it. And how she would love to tell me that and thank me, but she doesn't think i want anything to do with her anymore and she knows that is her fault, she messed it all up. Then at the end of all this gushing she added that I'd hurt her so much last summer when I didn't come and visit her. This used to really make me mad when she brought it up. Now? It makes me laugh. Seriously? I spend nearly every day at easy child's last summer because she shattered her leg and couldn't do anything for herself or the boys, days I wasn't with her I was killing myself trying to get my own stuff done. I didn't really see anyone last summer, including my own husband! sheesh gimme a break already.

    She has plans, so she says, to get M out of there. She wants to pay off her school fines so she can go back to college since she can't find a job. She is trying to save money for a car. Although how she is going to drive said car is beyond me as she doesn't have a valid driver's license........and she can't get her license now without redoing the whole thing which she doesn't have a car to do. Once she has the car and is in school, M is supposed to leave. Okkkk. But she sees no way she can either pay off her school fines or save to get a car without M there because the income would be only Alex's disability. I have to give her credit. This makes sense, especially with biomom added in. But honestly I dunno how she is going to swing it even with him there and if she's totally serious about it. M is in no way going to help her save money so she can drop him like a hot rock. Even he isn't that stupid.

    The really sad part of all of this? If Katie had made a real effort after her arrival, I'd have helped her with her "plan". I'd not have handed it to her. I'd have found housework and yard work, and trust me it wouldn't have been pleasant......but I already know that I could manage the cost of her college fines. And I'd have had to work for it and given her husband's Kia as well. So I guess she really did mess things up in ways she doesn't even know about.

    How do I take all of this? Ehhh. Whatever. Personally, I'm still chuckling over karma.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Everything you do comes back to you... Hee hee hee... I was laughing about the whole karma thing with Katie... I'm amazed about Kayla, but I think it's good - maybe she will get some help...
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Poor Kayla. Really makes you wonder where it's all coming from. You made me laugh already this morning. EVERYTHING eventually comes back to bite you and Katie has been bitten BIG TIME. Gotta love karma (definitely the right term for it here).
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I am still chuckling over the karma of it all. :rofl:

    And I just messaged kayla on fb giving her my contact info as well. So now she has her aunts and my info if she needs/wants to use it. I extended the olive branch and told kayla her mother can contact me too.

    I don't think Katie "gets" normal family dynamics. I've been waiting 8 months (ok I'm being honest the first month I was hurt and major ticked at her) for two words. All she has had to do is pick up the phone or drop a letter into the mail with those two words in it and that would have been that. Is "I'm sorry" really that difficult to say?

    But she did repeat several times in the letter she thought she'd messed up so bad I'd not want to have anything to do with her ever again. I know biomom's family dynamics are really whacked out and abnormal, but seriously? She's my kid. Being disappointed and upset with her doesn't change that.

    Nichole said she wrote her back and nicely told her it's time for her to svck it up already and get over it. I apologized for the family ganging up on her months ago, and she needed to do the same and get the kids back with their extended family again. (Nichole had invited her and the kids to Aubrey's birthday which is coming up and katie declined because of me and easy child being upset with her. But hey, at least this time she was honest about it.....small improvement) She said the kids are the ones who are mainly being hurt by this nonsense and it's time it stopped. And she let Katie know that both she and easy child have gotten it much worse from me when I've felt the situation was serious enough to do so.

    I miss them but I'm just not that eager. If I get the apology, then I will smooth it over and life will continue........ From what I hear from easy child, katie has totally blown it with her. But that is between the two of them and they'll just have to either work it out or not. Not my problem.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Enjoy is hard not to want her to have a taste what it is like! I feel badly for the kids too, especially Kayla. Wish she could talk to you more. Will be interesting to see what happens next. I hope the kids are getting enough food etc. with all the extra funds going out.
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Karma can be very ironic. I am glad Kayla is getting help and you are back in touch with her. I hope things work out in the near future to everyones best intrest. -RM
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I imagine this should be interesting to watch from the sidelines.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Karma is a good thing, esp if it has made a REAL change in katie, not just in her words.

    i hope you can teach kayla more about REAL family and how they stick with you. she has soo much promise fi her parents don't ruin her.
  9. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    :rofl: Karma is a funny thing. It's good that you reached out to Kayla - she is going to need the support of her extended family!
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    The best thing about karma is when you actually get to see it in action! And what does Katie mean that she "can't" get a job? Is she even trying? I do feel very sorry for the kids, especially Kayla. But maybe this is all for the best if it gets her the help and attention she needs so badly! So will Kayla and Katie be going to the same counselor? That should be really interesting! I hope Kayla unloads completely on this counselor, tells them exactly what all has been going on in her family all this time! Then wouldn't you love to be the fly on the wall when it's Katie's turn with this same counselor and she has to try to explain their chaotic lifestyle over the last several years and the choices she has made!
  11. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Karma about the mother, too bad, not really. I think she's playing on Nichole's heartstrings- hoping she'll put in a good word to you so you can offer more "help".
    All I see there in her elaborate "plans" are visions of grandeur, as usual. Oh yeah, M will leave when this or that happens- which can never happen because she never puts any plan in action. There is no plan, ever. Life will continue on for her as it always does. She tries to plant little seeds about her future but she's too ignorant and lazy to do one thing. She hopes you see this as a "step in the right direction" and offer your support and anything else she can get from you.
    I'm glad Kayla is getting some help at the very least. Since when do they hold kids back in that grade? Don't they just put them in an inclusion class or a self-contained LLD class? I'm thinkg more lies.