Another "Search and Rescue"


New Member
difficult child seems hellbent on sabatoging any progress he has made lately.

Yesterday, I walked in my door at lunchtime - didn't even have time to take off my boots - when the phone rang. God love caller I.D. - at least I had time to take a deep breath before I answered and received the request to come to collaborative day to pick up difficult child.

He had a good morning, apparently, but then was taunted into a tantrum by a classmate - and went into the "black hole" (his description) that is the hopeless meltdown. Raged for more than 45 minutes before they called me. Apparently raged most of the time it took me to get there, which is an additional 45 minutes. He destroyed craft items by ripping them up and throwing them at staff. He screamed and threw his shoes. He attempted to hit, scratch and kick staff. He spit in counselor's face. When he was being artfully ignored so as not to feed the tantrum, he resorted to something he has only done once - profanity. Merely for shock value, I'm convinced. Then, there were the "homicidal threats" where he stated he would "strangle" them all as soon as he was let out of the time out room.

During an episode, there is something so completely opposite about his demeanor. And, he just simply cannot stop. It just escalates and escalates and escalates. He then goes into sabatoge mode - seemingly deliberately making things worse for himself. Deliberately defiant by doing and/or saying things he knows are not acceptable. All while keeping a very close eye on the reaction and actions of those around him. Anyone else's difficult child do this?

It's as if he realizes things have gone too far and so they can't possible get any worse for him, so he goes full throttle.

We have just begun adjusting medications, so the psychiatrist does not believe this is a reaction from that.

Two uncontrollable rages - and unmanageable situations in 6 days is not a good sign.
I fear that another hospitalization cannot be far away. He's only been out about 45 days. :tears: I don't even want to think about the next option if collaborative day doesn't work out.

Thanks for listening - needed to vent a bit before putting on my "everything's cool" face and going to work.


Active Member
I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Kanga does rage like that sometimes - her therapist says she is trying her best to make her world reflect the chaos in her head by getting those around her upset.

When did you start adjusting medications? That could be what is causing it, even one dose of a new medication or at a new level can mess with some kids. Didn't they adjust them in the psychiatric hospital?

Sorry he is so unstable,


New Member
~sending hugs your way~
I feel for you hon, my son gets the very same way at times. If we ignore the behavior he seems to escalate even further and as long as he's not hurting himself or coming after his father or myself (he can yell just no hitting, kicking, etc.)we just let him go. Sometimes it may take 15-20 minutes for him to realize the reaction he is expecting from us isn't going to be there and so he stops. But sometimes at that point he truly can not stop, which his where his Ativan comes into play. Although it still takes at least 15 minutes for it to get into his system. But he does watch for the reactions of those around him, not just at home but at school as well. Although it may not give you much solace, just wanted you to know you're not alone. ~hugs again~



New Member

Another one with a difficult child that can do similar things. He watches the reactions and after a certain point is reached he seems to want to achieve a full blown rage, when we don't feed into it, he does it to himself with nasty self talk which will get him more upset. You know the type of body loves me, I hate everybody, its not fair. I am convinced he does it to escalate the rage so he can get to the release and move on, but it isn't so easy for everyone else to watch it and then carry on like nothing happened. Hope things improve at your house and you can avoid another hospitalization.


Jamie, I know in your last post you said you thought the Zoloft was helping your difficult child. In my experience, SSRIs can help but also destablize at the same time. For example, when my daughter was prescribed Paxil for anxiety and depression, she was less anxious and depressed, but then she began to experience strange disinhibted and aggressive episodes. It was the Paxil; when we weaned her from it, the strange episodes subsided.

If there is any chance your son has bipolar disorder, Zoloft could very well be destabilizing him. It's something you need to consider and ask the psychiatrist about, even if you think Zoloft has helped your difficult child's anxiety. Sending hugs your way.

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
I have nightmares of those types of rages/meltdowns. There comes a point with the tweedles, that they truly are no longer in the building during an episode - they have "become" that meltdown. Many many times, while it seemed deliberate on the outside, kt & wm had no memory of the incident or what precipitated it.

Having said that, I'm getting pretty darned saavy at recognizing the "real" thing versus drama queen or king.

Is difficult child going through any growth spurts, Jamie. Might be time for a medication tweak. I've also found with the tweedles that while a medication seemed to help for a time - that same medication would become ineffective.

Keeping fingers crossed that difficult child has a better day today.

Take care of yourself :warrior:


New Member
Thanks for the responses everyone.

medications are first and foremost in our minds these days. The psychiatrist is convinced difficult child is not bipolar and that the previous psychiatrist was locked into that diagnosis. Who knows, right? But, she is currently weaning him off the seroquel. We are meeting just about every 10 days for now. The good thing is that she is the doctor for the collaborative day program, so she gets to monitor difficult child all day every day.

Yesterday was a much, much better day - teacher wrote that difficult child made "much better choices". And this morning started out well, but so did Tuesday morning, so I just take the good and leave the rest - and hope for no phone calls today.

The team does not want to hospitalize him at this point, so we are hoping with everyone working together that will not have to happen. husband and I are, sadly, resigned to the fact that it may be necessary and will cross that bridge when we get there.

Thanks again for the hugs and support. It was much needed yesterday. I was having a true Feel Sorry for Jamie morning.