Anxiety level is on the rise.....

[timer lady]

I have plans with kt to leave for our annual cook off on Friday morning. Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is already seeing a huge increase in her anxiety. Tonight she called fixated on hurting grandpa's feelings.

"What if I say something wrong to Grandpa, Mom? What if I hurt his feelings?"

Had to reassure kt that Grandpa is a tough old dude - 78 years old. That he doesn't offend easily. Then I asked her what she could do if she said something "wrong" to Grandpa.

"I could apologize". Seems reasonable to me.

kt is admittedly anxious - hasn't seen extended family for almost a year. We have a long drive on Friday - we can spend mom/daughter time. There is no rush to be anywhere - no real schedule.

However, she has a lot of family who are chomping at the bit to see kt. She's loved.

Keep your fingers crossed that she can maintain. She's excited & scared. therapist & I worked out a "crisis plan" if necessary for this coming weekend. kt & I have worked out secret cues to help her.

If need be, we will leave early & head back home.

 

[tiredmommy]

Good luck. I'm assuming the extended family understand how debilitating kt's anxiety can be. If not, they should be warned to be as low-key as possible. So what's the secret recipe?

 

[timer lady]

TM - my family is very understanding. I have no fears there. by the way, the secret recipe is called Ants Climbing a Stick. Traditional Chinese - I think Szechwan or Mandarin, can't remember which.

 

[mstang67chic]

Do you think it would help to have your dad take her aside if she seems to be getting a little anxious? Maybe tell her that it's ok to talk about Grandma And if he get's a little teary it's because he's sad that she's gone but it's good that kt and everyone else can talk about her and remember her. She's not going to hurt him by talking about her.

Just a thought. Hope she does well and your weekend is fun!

 

[tiredmommy]

Sounds yummy! :smile: :rofl: :smile:
You know, as difficult as the anxiety is to handle I think it is a good sign that she cognizant & caring of your father's feelings. Could it be a sign that she's starting to appropriately attach into the family? Or has she always been this way?

 

[amy4129]

TL-
I like when you post that KT is able to talk about her fears and concerns. She seems to have come a looong way. Hugs that this special time will go well. And become a great memory for KT.
Amy

 

[Hound dog]

Linda

I'm thinking most kids would be feeling a little anxious over this sort of thing. My easy child was unsure how to act after we lost father in law years ago. Same reason. She was scared she'd say something wrong and make grandma cry. I let my mother in law know before hand with the next visit and she took the reins. It worked out fine.

Good luck with the cook off. And I hope the extended family and kt get to enjoy their time together.

 

[flutterbee]

I, too, think it's wonderful that she's able to articulate her concerns. That's hard for a lot of kids to do.

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you and yours and I hope you all have a good time.

 

[Wiped Out]

Linda,
I'll be saying prayers and crossing all body parts that everything goes well. Wave as you go by Madison-too bad I have to work.

 

[Janna]

Linda,

I think it's great that A) kt is so concerned over how things will go with your family and B) she is working so hard with you to have cues and interventions should an emergency arise. She sounds like she has made incredible progress.

I hope all goes well. Please let us know how it turns out. As always, my fingers, toes and all other body parts are crossed for a positive day. I have a feeling with so many around that love her, she'll be just fine.

Enjoy yourselves,

Janna

 

[timer lady]

I agree that kt is learning to express her feelings & fears; this is HUGE for kt. And it's agreed because that she is using her words & seeking out adults when feeling "weird in the brain" (her words), we are seeing far fewer dissociative states.

Thanks for the crossed body parts & positive thoughts. I have all the contingencies in place - now it's time to enjoy our weekend.

 

[JJJ]

KT sounds like she is growing up. I hope you have a great trip.