Barbara, you said, "Also, eliminate fat-free from your diet. Fat satiates us."
I have to agree. I've been trying to "eat healthily" for years. Decades. My specialist was telling me I needed to lose weight because it would be easier for me to get some vital exercise (not that I can exercise much) if I could lose some weight - my muscles are too weak to carry me far, and with less weight life might be easier.
So I did a lot of what Nomad suggested (good ideas, too, Nomad) - I refused to keep junk food in the house. No more biscuits, except husband's personal stash of plain biscuits and maybe some crackers. No more eating hot chips (fries), no more fried food, we would remove all fat from what we ate. I cooked everything from fresh ingredients. Casseroles would be stored in the fridge and any fat on them would be easily removed before we ate. I drank only skim milk and avoided sweet food other than fresh fruit. Every morning breakfast was a puree of fresh fruit with no added sugar - not even honey.
Then I had difficult child 3. On top of other health problems, my liver began to misbehave. I was diagnosed, after difficult child 3 was born, with fatty liver. My liver specialist said that this happens when you are overweight and that I needed to lose weight slowly, in order to improve my liver health. He referred me to the hospital dietician.
The dietician gave me the diet sheet with the food pyramid. She also gave me a lecture. "No eating fatty foods. No snacks of junk."
"I already don't do that," I told her. I don't think she believed me. But when I counted it up, it had been over ten years since I had started to eliminate fat from my diet. I'd even started to drastically cut calories as well.
The dietician told me how much I should be eating. "No more than four slices of bread a day, with only a scrape of spread."
"I only eat two slices with no spread."
She told me I wasn't eating enough bread.
"Hang on - didn't you just say I had to cut calories?"
But the book said I should be eating four slices, so four slices it became.
I gained weight. So I went back to my old diet but didn't tell the dietician. She congratulated me on losing that bit of extra, but after that at least not gaining. That's when I told her I had stopped her diet, due to the gain. She shrugged and said, "OK, you've proved your point. But two slices of bread isn't enough for the average person."
"I'm not the average person," I explained to her yet again. "I can't exercise, therefore I need fewer calories."
After several months of this I gave up seeing the dietician and the liver specialist (I had my own theory on why my liver was unhealthy). My weight stayed stable for a few more years then slowly began to increase. Hey, it happens as you approach menopause in my family.
So I went on the Atkins Diet. Nothing else has ever worked (other than total starvation which I don't recommend). And I lost 8 Kg over about 6 months. But BEFORE I had lost the weight, my liver was already recovering, even as the pre-menopause weight was piling on. Bang goes the liver specialist's theory.
I gained the weight back over the next year or so but several things I learned:
1) As Nomad said, do not allow 'bad' foods in the house. Do not buy them. Do not bake them. If they are there, feed them to your skinnier kids or give them to the neighbours.
2) Understand WHY you eat. If you eat for comfort, this needs fixing. Diet won't fix it. All dieting will do is make you miserable and put on MORE weight as you comfort yourself. See a psychologist and fix your head.
3) Do NOT eliminate fat. Eliminate saturated and trans fats where possible, and substitute with mono-saturated oils like olive oil and macadamia oil. Sesame oil is fabulous for flavour as well. And if I'm cooking in butter (which I do permit) I also add either of the first two oils to stop the butter burning. You still have the butter taste but it's healthier for you and cooks better too.
Low fat stuff in the shops - it has lots of extra hidden sugars in it. Be warned. And what happens - your body adapts to the sugars, your taste buds adapt, and your metabolism is badly affected and learns to crave the sugars. It makes dieting much harder because you want to eat more often and can't stop when you should.
4) If you include a small amount of fat with healthy foods like fruit and vegetables, you slow down the rate at which your body absorbs it. Pure sugars get whipped into the bloodstream fast, which then means the excess quickly gets turned into fat. Slower absorbtion keeps your blood sugar level more stable and will satisfy you longer. Hence my new breakfast - sliced fresh mango with a teaspoon of double cream.
5) Cook your own meals where possible, from fresh ingredients. The less processed ingredients, the less chance of something naughty getting past you.
6) Indulge yourself a little, if you've had a healthy eating day. But don't make a habit of it - you will find, if you're eating good, natural food, that you soon lose the taste for wrong foods anyway. But don't keep testing that theory or you will develop the taste right back again! And don't feel guilty - if you've broken your diet, don't go and eat a tub of ice cream as consolation. The diet starts again after the last naughty mouthful, so you can't justify eating more naughty stuff.
7) The French way (allegedly) - eat what you like, but no more than two bites of it. This forces you to have a variety of food and to NOT have to deprive yourself. Eat often, but small.
8) Cut the carbs and boost the protein. Not as severely as Atkins, but enough so you're not overloading with carbs. Do this especially when you're out and about. Make a point of watching carbs in all your fast food. You will be horrified at the hidden carbs.
Example: I was ravenous on Day 4 of my first Atkins attempt. I knew I needed to eat something so I bought something I felt was healthy - a chicken and snow pea sprout rice paper roll. OK, it's wrapped in steamed rice paper, I knew, but that should be all the carbs, surely? It wasn't. Hidden inside was lots of angel-hair rice vermicelli. The darn roll was at least 50% carbs. And I added some soy sauce which was suspiciously sweet.
9) Exercise as much as you can when you can. Walking is great. So is swimming. Whatever you can manage.
10) And now the most important finding of all - drink lots of water. I mean, LOTS. And water without anything else in it, apart from maybe a slice of lemon and an ice cube. Over Christmas I gave up on ALL the rules above. I ate like a horse, I was nibbling rubbish all the time, I served up home-made brioche with jam and cream but I always had a glass of water with me. I had family who were drinking lots of wine which I don't like to do, so I used water as my alibi. I knew I was eating far too much - but when I weighed myself I found I had lost several kilos. Since then I've kept this up - I'm not losing a lot, but I am still losing. Nothing else has changed.
So aim for balance (ie fewer carbs than you're used to), for natural food, lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, for fresh ingredients generally and become an earth mother. And drink lots of water. If nothing else, you will be happier than those who starve themselves and also feeling virtuous into the bargain.
Good luck!
Marg