Stress reduction via exercise works.
When we feel better, we treat ourselves better. When we treat ourselves better, we begin to feel that we deserve better.
Like Nomad said, it is all about small, small steps.
The first step though, is to stop beating yourself up about it.
Imagine what your life will be like next year at this time when you are thin. Picture that so clearly, three or maybe four times a day for five or ten minutes. Sit down and write out how it will be when you are a size two or whatever it is that you want to be. Write about how you will look, how you will change your hair once the first ten pounds are gone, how you will change your makeup ~ and what wonderful kinds of things will begin happening to you once the weight starts coming off.
Stop thinking about calories and dieting and punishing yourself for being where you are, now.
Next year, when you are thin, you will look back on this time and read through your journaling and admire your own courage.
Also, eliminate fat-free from your diet. Fat satiates us. Without it, especially if we are eating fat-free sugary things, there is nothing to key in that satiation response that signals us to quit eating. Limit or eliminate pasta and forego sugary things you know you don't really enjoy, anyway. If there is something you really want, postpone having it for as long as you can ~ five minutes or five weeks ~ and then, have as much of it as you want. Eat way too much of it, if that is what you truly want. Soon enough, you will want something different, something better for yourself, than to stuff yourself with things which are not who you really want to be.
As you begin to cherish yourself, you will find yourself eating differently.
Wishing you well with this, and waiting with you to see the wonderful changes coming for you in the coming year as the weight melts away.
Stop beating yourself up.
Cherish yourself thin.