Anyone else's kids scared since the CT tragedy?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Dec 17, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I kept q away from it but on sat afternoon he heard it on the radio. Then he saw some comments between his approved shows on tv. Just no way to hide it. Plus they talked in school a little. School sent a safety note home.

    So, Saturday night he wouldn't stay in the living room where he watches his show and I was upstairs folding laundry and on the computer. By eight o'clock he was talking a mile a minute about everything on his mind. Then I had to go witb him to check locks. Then he would.suddenly scream a high pitched panic real fear scream and run into my room. He finally said that they said someone had more guns. I figured out he heard the mom had the guns. I.explained that the police got all of his guns now and he died so can't do any more harm. He was truly scared. I.offered to watch holiday old time movies with him like Santa Claus is coming to town etc. He held JJ between us and finally agreed to go to bed. He screamed a couple more times about hearing sounds etc. I.walked thru the house for him again.

    Sun was a little better because we were with family most of the day. At night he ended up falling asleep on my bed again. When I woke him to go to his room he walked in my closet! Poor.boy.

    Tonight he has awakened twice so far saying, " we live in a safe neighborhood, right
    Mom?" He has needed reassurance off and on like this in his life most recently when we moved here. But he had settled so well.

    I'm struggling (much like the topic of sex) with how much to talk to him because he perseverates so much and says such inappropriate things. He said today after school, upon finding out his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker couldn't come, that he wished I was in that school and died. About thirty minutes after he went to bed he came in and said he was really sorry he said that to me. First truly spontaneous apology (not trying to get out of a consequence because I ignored it anyway) I can think of.
    He said he will only feel comfortable living witb me forever. (Sorry dude, not gonna happen )

    Anyone else have kids have such obvious anxiety from this?
  2. Buddy, I'm sorry that your son is going through this.
    My kids have not seemed interested in it at all. difficult child has not brought it up nor had anything to say (rare for him!) when I know he has heard me speaking to his sister about it. Because she is a little older I thought that I would gently open the topic for discussion in case she had any questions before they went back to school on Monday. All she had to say was, "I'm not worried, CT is far away." So, I guess there is some younger child protection mechanism at work with both of them.
  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Not one of my high school students have even mentioned it. I think they have become completely numb to mass shootings which is even worse than being scared. I think they have accepted it as a way of life.

  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    That is really scary Kathy.
  5. tammybackagain

    tammybackagain New Member

    difficult child did have questions, I was Honest, explained that the man was sick and that his school is very safe. we did get a safety note yesterday and husband has been going to the school sitting in classes with difficult child to help with problems when he went yesterday he said they weren't going to let him in and when they did he had to sit in office for while until they could find principal for approval.
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    My high schoolers aren't scared. Tigger has been a little more cuddly but I don't know if it is related to the shooting or if he just in one of those moods.

    When I told them, I told them about the heros that saved over 300 kids. Tigger did ask how many got shot and then called the shooter a nasty name. He went off to school this morning without a problem.

    The kids can only watch netflix unless they are in my bedroom so they didn't see any news. While Eeyore and Piglet could have seen it online, the chance of them going to a newsite is slim.

    I think it is very hard to process for our kids. I'm lucky that Eeyore doesn't pay much attention to things outside his little bubble because he does obsess so badly.
  7. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I agree. I think that, unless it is your school or you know someone who was killed, it is so easy to just go back to your daily life -- which hasn't changed.
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    difficult child 2 has ALWAYS had obsessive fears (tornadoes, earthquakes, going upstairs in our house alone) so I expected this to be added to his list. I am very surprised the most it's done is start him hugging me more often. He hasn't even obsessively talked about it like he usually does when something big happens.

    I am sorry it has made Q's fears come back to the surface. I know he's had these fears before and he WILL deal with them again. Stay strong and keep making him feel safe. You're doing a great job and he's making HUGE progress since this time last year.
  9. allhaileris

    allhaileris Crumbling Family Rock

    We don't have TV right now, only get Netflix and Hulu through the PS3, or watch something downloaded onto the computer. She doesn't go to news sites, and I haven't mentioned it to her. She doesn't have school this week (they have three weeks for Winter break). I'm thinking I won't bring it up at all.

    Her school did have a lockdown about a month ago. Two armed men were running around the area that her school was at. It all happened in like 10 min and the kids didn't really know what was going on. They just were told to be totally quiet, locked the doors, pulled the blinds. Her school is really easy to get onto, as are most California schools. Since she did know about that, it's probably better to just not mention the CT thing at all.
  10. Pandora

    Pandora Member

    I live about 15 minutes away from Newtown. The kids were a bit nervous about the increased police protection on school grounds. difficult child was without a tutor for several days because the Newtown schools were closed and the woman didn't have a sitter.
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Q still was attached to me yesterday after school. School reports that he's been tough Mon and Tues. If it affects him with very little info about it and it being so far....I can only imagine. I wish the media would leave comments with specifics for just their news shows, not daytime or family time commercials or radio ads. We always listen to sports on the radio when driving. So hard to sheild him.
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My difficult child doesn't seem overly worried. However, he did mention yesterday there have been a lot of threats going around his school that something is going to happen on Friday to bring about the end of the world at his school. He seemed to feel o.k. just talking about it. We told him we were aware and that we had received two emails from his administration saying they and the police have followed up and do not believe the threats are credible. I really hope they have beefed up security on Friday.
  13. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    My Kiddo (being my Kiddo) instead mentions this whole Mayan end of the world thing. *sigh* She mentions it as a joke and of course the teachers think she's serious because she can be so obsessive and depressive about things. Yay.
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh wow, q knows nothing of that. I hope it stays that way. He rides the bus alone, has no friends and is with at least one adult all day. Even going to the rest room. We just couldn't deal with another layer of fear.