Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MidwestMom, Oct 15, 2006.
Thanks MWM, I am going to send a page at a time to difficult child. He would be overwhelmed with this many pages.
The one thing that struck me is that if difficult child doesn't accept his diagnosis(in my mind-obstacles) he will not use any of the tools offered. Makes me really sad but it is what I have seen and experienced.
Fabulous article. Thanks.
Where and who does
cognitive behavioral counseling?
I don't think I have seen this particular specialty.
I had asked this a few days ago. Page 11 of general is where it's posted. There are some good descriptions and a link. Hope it helps.
Thanks Amy. I appreciate it.
Actually, my easy child did this for anxiety and it was very helpful.
I just thought they were refering to something different for an AS adult.
My difficult child's anxiety isn't the issue.
I had CBT. I LOVED IT. It was the only type of counseling that ever helped me. Rather than talking about "How are you doing?" or "This happens because your mother did that to you when you were ten" it is very much a teaching therapy. It taught me that life is NOT black and white (I thought it was) and many other things. I still use it. The book "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns started CBT as something consumers know about. I love the book. My 22 year old daughter is reading it now and also feels it is really helping her. Many people with bipolar/mood disorders and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) think only in terms of black (all bad) or white (all good) and don't see the gray areas of life--don't even know they exist. This type of therapy teaches you to react more realistically to situations that used to make you livid. I'm very anti-therapy, but I highly recommend this type. A reactive person may go to a restaurant and when the waitress ignores her or him get furious thinking, "She's an idoit! She's incompetent! I'm going to go up to her and yell! I'm leaivng the restaurant! I'm going to rip her a new one, etc" causing anger for NO reason. Cognitive behavioral therapy taught me to write down an option to getting angry OR being passive. I would think rationally, "Yes is being rude, but that doesn't make her a jerk and I shouldn't take it personally. Maybe her husband yelled at her this morning, maybe she's has a migraine, maybe her child is sick, maybe her mother is in the hospital, maybe she's new and confused--" offering me many reasons not to get upset and to be very rational when I called her over, smiled, and asked for service. There are exercises you do and I found a psycologist that ONLY did CBT. He rocked and I learned a lot. And, because it's a certain technique, the therapist doesn't bring his or her baggage with. He isn't offering an opinion to any problem or issue. He is offereing a new way of looking at life. It is extremely helpful.
Thankss MWM, I think I'll order the book. It sounds like you gained a lot of insight.
Thanks for the link I have sent it to my non As children to help them understand their As brothers. I hope they read it. I also printed it out for my husband as he only partially understands this syndrom and what it means for the adult who has it. Maybe he will be less judgemental of my boys after reading it. -RM
Great article. So MWM, what exactly would I ask for if I was getting this type of therapy for my son?
I think you and I have talked about how therapy has never worked for my kid, but it seems this one you just suggested might.
This is how black and white my difficult child is! His grandpa has a serious brain tumor, with not long to live. My son's response to the therapist when asked about he is coping with his grandpa is, "my Pop is dead". He literally knows he is not, but it is his way of being able to cope with the problem. I think he thinks, "How can you be dying? That is too gray and intangible. So I will make it concrete. He is dead." It scares me, to tell you the truth, to hear him talk this way. He seems to just be getting more and more rigid in his thinking. And I feel like I need someone to basically do occupational therapy with his brain, which is what you seem to be saying.
So, where do I find these people?
CBT is used alot for things like agoraphobia. It did wonders for a friend of mine. I wanted my H to do it to get over his fear of flying and of bridges and almost had him convinced but then 9/11 came along and you could smell the smoke from our town and he has never said boo about getting on a plane again.
The way I understand CBT is that it is really useful for someone who has one particular issue on which they are hung up (or a set of issues which can logically be tackled one at a time). The theory behind it is somewhat like behavior modification. So with my agoraphobic friend, the therapist would at first come to her house with the goal of my friend allowing her in and chatting with her. Eventually, that was easily done and they moved on to having her husband bring her to the T's office. Later they moved to her getting there with her H but with her driving, then her getting there alone. The ultimate goal was to get her to be able to do things in public like shop in the supermarket or drive to the mall and get out of her car and shop. It worked - she ultimately ran for and was elected to a local political position in her town!
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