Asking for good thoughts for my little sister, caregiver fatigue

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TerryJ2, Apr 20, 2011.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to keep asking for thoughts and whatever, but I talked to my little sister, M, last night and it turns out, she hasn't been home from the hospital for 4 days. She was totally sleep deprived and was borderline psychotic, just barely holding it in. You know how people's voices go up an octave like they're going to cry and their talking is super-fast? And then they slow down and take a breath? I asked if she was okay to drive, and she ignored the question and said she was going to lie down for an hr until another caregiver got there (this was 10-11:00 p.m. last night). At least she finally found an evening caregiver.

    A nurse friend brought her some clean clothes and shampoo, so she was able to take a shower and said it felt good. I doubt she's eating, too.

    I can't fly up until the 28th, until all the FINRA stuff is over with-the broker I'm dealing with, plus I have a cold and don't want to breathe on Dad.
    P's furniture arrives today (C let in the movers but refused to sign to say they had taken the things, so I had to find someone else in the bldg), and I just let in the window washer 15 min ago, at my own house. Everything hits at once!

    But I am really worried about M. She said that Dad has been totally agitated, and some of the nurses just don't want to deal with-him, so their option is to strap him down. She can talk him down, and hold his hand, but as you all know, that takes time, and that's one thing hospitals never have enough of.

    I was awake half the night, worrying that she'd get into a car accident on the way home from the hospital. Stupid, I know, but that's where my mind was.

    Today she has to find transitional care for him, which is going to be a bear. She's narrowed it down to 2 places, but has to wait for an opening. You all now how that goes. The problem is, finding a place that can do orthopedic rehab for the hip surgery, AND deal with-Alzheimer's dementia.

    Just to give you an idea of which stage Dad is in, a cpl wks ago M took him in for a haircut, and just to have the water running over his scalp made Dad crazy. He couldn't figure out what the water was and it totally agitated him. She rubbed his shoulder and talked to him the whole time. He is losing touch with-basic body functions and relating them to his whole being, if that makes sense. He can still hold hands and understand that, which is the only good thing about all of this.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I am sending caring thoughts and prayers to your family. I'm so glad she found someone to give her a break although she probably will worry when she is away from him. We live in a community with many nursing homes/ALF's etc. Although we have been blessed not to face that situation yet, I am assuming as husband and I age it won't be that far away. There are two facilities that combine the needs your Dad has. Both of them are well run, clean and family inclusive. Even must be difficult to select a home away from home for your Dad. In our State, I believe, it is possible to access the inspection reports via the internet to see how they are graded. Best of luck following this difficult road. He is lucky to have caring family. Hugs. DDD
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    Healing thoughts for everyone. Yourself included. You are also dealing with a lot so please don't forget to take care of you; recognizing your limits and all that. Hugs xox
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Saying a prayer for lil sis, dad, and YOU. That's a load.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Prayers going out, Terry.
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    sending lots of support and love to you and your family..... you need to take a break also
  7. Terry,

    I'm sending prayers and healing thoughts for you and your entire family. This is not an easy time.

  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
  9. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    *hugs* to you and M, hon.
  10. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Warm thoughts going out to all of you. That's a lot of responsibility on your sis right now and it seems only natural she'll get to a tipping point. It is good she has found an evening provider to relieve her. I hope a placement in a LTC facility is available soon that is suitable.
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in more prayers.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you. Still haven't heard from her. No news is good news?