At it again..update manipulation

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Helpless29, Sep 19, 2018.

  1. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    My son ran away again was gone 3 days, showed up at his grandparents house, was very agitated & angry, I’m sure coming off drugs, got into an argument with them & broke their window & coffee table, then took off, grandparents would not press charges. Went to school today & got arrested for truancy, missing to many days.Tomorrow he has to go to court his dad will attend it with him.Dad said he saw FB messages about him robbing people which is not new news, cuz we seen that posted before. He found knives under his bed, now dad had to hide all his knives in the house.My son has a very dark side , it’s very scary. Is this normal for people who use drugs to be so violent? The more I hear the more I want to stay away .
     
  2. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Not all drug addicts are violent.
     
  3. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Possibly drugs...probably combination of mental illness and drugs...

    Especially if there were behavior issues when he was younger, before substances were started. Ksm
     
  4. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    Hi,
    I'm so sorry you are going through this and my heart goes out to you.

    My son was the same way - he destroyed doors, walls, windows, ect in anger. Life was unbearable with him at home and yes as a result of drugs he was very destructive. Not all are as other posters have mentioned as there are other factors that may be in place.

    It's one of the most painful things in the world to observe to see our child hurt the ones who would stand by their side. Instead, a lot of the anger is focused on those people. I remember coming home early in my son's addiction when he was a young teen to find out he had stolen and sold everything in my home of value. It wasn't much as I had struggled as a single mom and I was so hurt he did that to me. He would also get angry when I refused him money to further fuel his addiction...this is where the tough love stance comes to play. Later in life my son destroyed things in every place he lived in until I no longer purchased anything for him. Later, he turned to a life of crime and suffered the consequences. I could only cry at what had become of him.I was appalled that he was robbing people and stealing - the very things that were so against my nature I refused to bail him out. It's a horrible catch 22 situation as drugs can cause paranoia and in turn they feel they must protect what they have - hence knives under beds. Yet, in their drug addiction they fail to realize that it is themselves who are the most dangerous.

    There are no right or wrong answers as to what turns a person's life around. They must want it themselves and although we can talk to them about it is only when they admit they have a problem can they begin to change.

    As for you....stay strong and by that I mean keep coming back here to receive support from others. If you become unwell you will be of no help to anyone when the time comes. Instead you may fall into despair and it will be helping no one. If you feel unable to deal with this at the moment then I agree stay a distance for your own well being. Perhaps join a support group and be with others that truly understand what you are going through. Do things for yourself so you can smile again.
    Hugs
     
  5. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Sorry to hear of destructive behavior.

    He is out of control.

    I cannot remember how old your son is...like 16 or so?

    If I had to do it over again I would have sent our son to a boarding school.
     
  6. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    Thank you so much, I have 2 small boys at home 7 & 2yrs old & I need to protect them, that was one of my reasons of giving dad full custody. I’m glad on these site , there are so many people who can relate. The dark evil side is scary.The thought of robbing or hurting people is scary .I sometimes wonder where did it all go wrong:
     
  7. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    He is 15 teen :( been in & out of residential treatment centers , mental / behavioral centers , counseling’s, he’s either got kicked out for fighting or ran away , never completed one :( looked into many boarding schools there so expensive.
     
  8. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Yes they are expensive and writing this I don't even KNOW how much they are but you may spend it on attorney fees and what not anyway. We did.....

    Hindsight.
     
  9. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    Dear Helpless,

    Yes, with two little ones at home you need to protect them as you said. The hardest part I often had to deal with is the battle between my logic and emotions. I KNEW asking my son to leave was the most logical thing at the time as I had no control over him yet emotionally it tore me up. As a parent it seems un-natural to distance ourselves from our children but your logical side knows that your little ones at home need you as well. They need you to provide a safe place where they are not subjected to their brother's rages. You knew that and acted upon it. Emotionally it's gut wrenching.

    We're here to support you.