Baby steps

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by everywoman, May 23, 2007.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    -difficult child finished all work required for his hs diploma and delivered it to teacher today.
    -He has been attending NA meeting regularly.
    -He got a call from Voc-Rehab today and has a meeting with them on Friday. He saw them almost three weeks ago and they have all his records now and are ready to let him know what they can do for him. Hopefully they will get him some sort of job training and teach him the skills he needs to get a job and keep one!
    -He has taken up skateboarding again-.
    He has met with probabtion.

    He is still a difficult child.
    He still doesn't have a job.
    He is still about 14 socially and emotionally.
    He still grates my last nerve.
    He still has a sense of entitlement.
    He may still be smoking pot---not sure--- but probation will drug test so that his little red wagon.

    We'll day at a time.
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>katmom, I hear you. Baby steps are all we get but it at least gives us something to hold on to. Fingers crossed that voc rehab helps your son find something meaningful.
    My difficult child still struggles with "they don't appreciate me" at work. :hammer: Although this has been a good week.
    I hope this is the start of longer baby steps and shorter downward spirals.
    Mother's are good with that guarded hope. We can't seem to dump it completely. </span>
  3. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    If my crystal ball was working I'd lend it to you, but for now his baby steps are positively going forward, so as we all take day at a time....will be thinking of you and hoping for the best possible outcome...
  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Change doesn't happen overnight but he is making progress. I hope he isn't using but like you say it will soon be addressed.
    Baby steps are still steps in the right direction. -RM
  5. Scent of Cedar I

    Scent of Cedar I New Member

    Well, like the others of us have said too ~ baby steps are good.

    It's tough to be the mom in that situation, though. Once they start doing better, it's almost as though we go onto hyper~alert status.

    Advise him to the best of your ability and try to let go of those feelings, for now.

    Time to take a breather.

    Are you able to make a conscious effort to reward yourself for having survived to this point?

    If you can, it will make you stronger.

  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    One thing that I love about the PE group of members is that we have been through so much over the years that we grasp and hang on to every single possible advance our kids make and appreciate every single second it lasts.

    Despite your misgivings, good for you for noticing his forward progress, katmom. You rock! :thumbsup:

  7. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Do you have the book one day at a time in alanon? I know I purchased it from an alanon meeting, but I believe you can buy it at regular book stores. Especially one like Barnes and Noble should have it. I found that book helped me so much when my difficult child first started his recovery. Incase you haven't seen it, every single day has a different page to read, dated by calendar date, and it gives you something to think about every day to help you deal with what your difficult child is, or isn't doing with his or her life. I used to read it faithfully every day before I left the house and would reflect back to it throughout the day when I was having trouble dealing. I haven't felt the need to pick it up in awhile, but it still sits on my dresser. I'm afraid to put it out of site.
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Have it from husband's recovery. I have done the one day at time thing for the past 5 years----Between that and my daily devotionals it keeps me sane. It stays in my bedside drawer--
  9. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Karen, good call on the one day at a time book.

    Often, no matter what you are going through, that day's message has something in it that can help you.

    Katmom, you have the right attitude. One day at a time.

    Hugs and prayers.
  10. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    :hammer: Yeppers...that'll be us, 'ole PE'ers who are on the scout for baby steps! steps are just fine.
  11. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Thanks ladies. The way I see it baby steps are better than sliding downhill backwards as fast as you can. I will take any movement forward at this point---even if it is at a snail's pace.
  12. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    the diploma and NA mtgs!!! cool!! I know a lot of folks are struggling to get their kids even that far, so I gotta say I am proud your son at least did this much.

    ignore the rest for today and say June 1st let him know you expect more of him. enjoy the holiday weekend for now!