It isn't just adopted kids who think of this. Wiz tried to push this through several times. About the third visit with a new therapist or the second visit with a psychiatrist (because we saw the psychiatrists less often than the tdocs) he would ask them to help him make this happen. If he got new parents they would be more "reasonable" and less "abusive" - he used those words. When asked what that meant (all but one asked him that question, and the one that didn't was biting his hook until I asked it) he said they would let him play all the video games he wanted, any video game he wanted, watch all the tv and any program that he wanted, not make him do homework, chores, or even go to school or do homeschool work, would stop dragging him to these appointments that were a "frivolous" waste of time and of $$ that could be put to better use (junk food and video games), and would never, ever, ever dare to abuse him by using the word "no".
After a while this became sort of a litmus test of whether or not we would be able to work with someone or not. We had one therapist who didn't want to tell him it was a fantasy, but wanted him to figure it out for himself. It was a beautiful idea, but not any more realistic than his idea of new parents. We had to move on because fueling the idea, and the idea of exploring if others had parents that would live up to his expectations, also fueled his rages and violence. The therapist couldn't grasp that any/every time he was frustrated he looked to Jess or I to hurt us physically. She truly believed that if we could be "patient" with him for a few weeks he would see his idea was not realistic and he would move on. We moved on instead because I couldn't tolerate the violence that came after every therapist session as she encouraged him to "explore" his options. He was 9 at the time, and though he was very intelligent in book-smart ways, and sounded incredibly intelligent, he was just not capable of handling this. Another therapist "bit" his hook while they were talking alone. She started to rip me a new one for being abusive on the grounds that kids just don't accuse parents of abuse if there is none. I told her to hold on before she went down that road. I was forceful enough that it shocked her into silence (she was building up a HUGE ball of anger at the thought of "poor" Wiz being abused). I turned to Wiz, who had a truly gleeful smirk on his face, and asked him what we did that was abusive, and what new parents would do that would be so much better.
The therapist went from being ready to rip me to shreds to protect Wiz to feeling hugely hurt and abused that he would "use" claims of abuse that way. She started to lay into Wiz and I told her it was out of line. She had begun to curse at him, even using the F word, and we never went back. While Wiz WAS out of line, and unrealistic, he was still a child and didn't deserve to have a therapist act that way. I am quite sure this therapist would never have gotten another word out of him so we didn't go back.
Heck, I have a cousin who was two when he started trying to "buy new mommy". His mom was making him lay down for a nap in his crib. He understood that when a toy did something you didn't like you bought a new one, because one of his had just broken and been replaced because it was a favorite and soothed him. So when his mom did something he didn't like.......
I am sorry Kanga is pushing this. With the info about her funding streams, there is NO WAY the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) will help her with this. I am quite sure she is NOT the first person to bring this up to them and they will probably tell her she is delusional (though probably more tactfully than that). Esp by this point, where they have seen some of her behaviors and twisted thinking. Hopefully she will not approach someone who is completely new to the world of difficult children who might give her a glimmer of hope. Esp if they don't ask her specifically what awful things you have done to her. Like educate her, make her eat healthy foods, send her to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for help, not let her kill you (how dare you!! of all the nerve! - TOTALLY sarcastic here), etc...
Sending hugs. regardless of what is going on, this kind of rejection hurts on some level even when you expect it.
