B
Bunny
Guest
husband is a CPA and he had to work on Saturday so that the company he works for could get their year end numbers done. It's the one weekend a year that he must work, and I dread it every year. I dred being home alone with difficult child, especially on a weekend.
He had a good day, except for about one hour where he was just RAGING because easy child didn't want to play with him. easy child was sitting at my laptop playing on Club Penguin and difficult child asked him he wanted to play on his Xbox with him. easy child said not now, he was playing Club Penguin and could they play together in a little while? difficult child went completely off the deep end! Screaming that easy child hates him because he won't play with him, that I hate him because I won't make easy child play with him, that he goes to bed every night miserable and depressed because no one loves him in this whole house. I told him that this was the first time he's admitted that he's depressed to me and it's something to bring up to the therapist and the psychiatrist. No, he screams! This is not something to bring up to them. It's a family matter because he's depressed because no one loves him and I am the one who has to fix it. If it gets brought up the the psychiatrist and therapist he will beat the $hit out of me (I already send the therapist a text about it last night). He then goes on screaming about how all of his friends know that he's depressed because he has a terrible home life and no one loves him and the fact that I didn't know he was depressed just proves it. On and on and on this went. He was trying to get easy child upset, calling him a retard, screaming that he's stupid and that the only reason that he gets good grades is because he has a tutor and that I should take the tutor away and see how well he does then. Oh, and the tutor is just another way of showing that easy child is loved and he isn't because he never had a tutor. I gently reminded him that he never needed one, but apparently in difficult child world that is besides the point.
Keep in mind the entire time he's raging I am standing between difficult child (who is standing right in my face) and easy child (who is sitting in front of my laptop, trying to play) because difficult child is saying he will beat easy child until he agrees to play with him. This raging goes on for about 40 minutes, and the whole time I'm thinking to myself, "Now how the heck and I going to get out of this one?"
Finally I asked him what he needs to know that he is loved. You know what is answer was? Microsoft points. I should let him buy Microsoft point on my credit card whenever he wants them. Right now the rule is that if he wants them he can only buy them once a month and he has to pay us for them, including the tax, before he purchases them. He feels that the fact that we set limits like that goes to show that he is not loved. I told him that this is what parent do: set limits. It does not show that he is unloved, but quite the opposite. He didn't buy that at all! Limits are for wimp parents, like us.
Finally, he took the pillows off the couch and threw then across the room, screamed that talking to me was a waste of his time, ran up to his room and slammed the door. After about 20 minutes he cam back down, quietly. Said he was sorry for screaming at me and could I please play a game with him. I stopped what I was doing, asked what he wanted to play and we played for a little while. Then he reminded me that I said we would bake brownies, which I had forgotten about, so I said that if he wanted to make brownies we could make them. By now it's almost 4:00 pm.
We get the brownies in the oven and he asks is he could talk to me and asks if I will help him with not feeling loved. I gently told him that if he does not feel loved that is something that HE has to figure out why, and that he has to understand that expressions of love are not always these great big things. It can be the little things, like making his favorite dinner, which I had done on Friday because he's been doing really well since we increased his medications, or buying him a box of Tic Tacs when he did not ask for anything, which I had done earlier that day. And that if he is going to count love as being things that are done to you and for you, then I must be the most unloved mother on the planet because he screams at me, curses at me, has punched me, thrown things as me, locked me out of the house, etc. Of course, that's totally different and has no bearing on the current conversation.
Then he switch flipped again, and he was fine for the rest of the night. Played with easy child, played on the computer, went to bed, all as if nothing had ever happened.
By the time husband got home difficult child was already in bed and not pleased to hear that difficult child expects to be able to buy point whenever he wants them. I had told difficult child that I would talk to his father about it, but not to expect anything. It was dad who set the once a month rule and he most probably not going to budge from it. Of course, that means that I love him a little because I said I would speak to his father about it, and his dad doesn't love him at all if he won't budge (which he already told me last night that he won't).
I hate the weekends.
He had a good day, except for about one hour where he was just RAGING because easy child didn't want to play with him. easy child was sitting at my laptop playing on Club Penguin and difficult child asked him he wanted to play on his Xbox with him. easy child said not now, he was playing Club Penguin and could they play together in a little while? difficult child went completely off the deep end! Screaming that easy child hates him because he won't play with him, that I hate him because I won't make easy child play with him, that he goes to bed every night miserable and depressed because no one loves him in this whole house. I told him that this was the first time he's admitted that he's depressed to me and it's something to bring up to the therapist and the psychiatrist. No, he screams! This is not something to bring up to them. It's a family matter because he's depressed because no one loves him and I am the one who has to fix it. If it gets brought up the the psychiatrist and therapist he will beat the $hit out of me (I already send the therapist a text about it last night). He then goes on screaming about how all of his friends know that he's depressed because he has a terrible home life and no one loves him and the fact that I didn't know he was depressed just proves it. On and on and on this went. He was trying to get easy child upset, calling him a retard, screaming that he's stupid and that the only reason that he gets good grades is because he has a tutor and that I should take the tutor away and see how well he does then. Oh, and the tutor is just another way of showing that easy child is loved and he isn't because he never had a tutor. I gently reminded him that he never needed one, but apparently in difficult child world that is besides the point.
Keep in mind the entire time he's raging I am standing between difficult child (who is standing right in my face) and easy child (who is sitting in front of my laptop, trying to play) because difficult child is saying he will beat easy child until he agrees to play with him. This raging goes on for about 40 minutes, and the whole time I'm thinking to myself, "Now how the heck and I going to get out of this one?"
Finally I asked him what he needs to know that he is loved. You know what is answer was? Microsoft points. I should let him buy Microsoft point on my credit card whenever he wants them. Right now the rule is that if he wants them he can only buy them once a month and he has to pay us for them, including the tax, before he purchases them. He feels that the fact that we set limits like that goes to show that he is not loved. I told him that this is what parent do: set limits. It does not show that he is unloved, but quite the opposite. He didn't buy that at all! Limits are for wimp parents, like us.
Finally, he took the pillows off the couch and threw then across the room, screamed that talking to me was a waste of his time, ran up to his room and slammed the door. After about 20 minutes he cam back down, quietly. Said he was sorry for screaming at me and could I please play a game with him. I stopped what I was doing, asked what he wanted to play and we played for a little while. Then he reminded me that I said we would bake brownies, which I had forgotten about, so I said that if he wanted to make brownies we could make them. By now it's almost 4:00 pm.
We get the brownies in the oven and he asks is he could talk to me and asks if I will help him with not feeling loved. I gently told him that if he does not feel loved that is something that HE has to figure out why, and that he has to understand that expressions of love are not always these great big things. It can be the little things, like making his favorite dinner, which I had done on Friday because he's been doing really well since we increased his medications, or buying him a box of Tic Tacs when he did not ask for anything, which I had done earlier that day. And that if he is going to count love as being things that are done to you and for you, then I must be the most unloved mother on the planet because he screams at me, curses at me, has punched me, thrown things as me, locked me out of the house, etc. Of course, that's totally different and has no bearing on the current conversation.
Then he switch flipped again, and he was fine for the rest of the night. Played with easy child, played on the computer, went to bed, all as if nothing had ever happened.
By the time husband got home difficult child was already in bed and not pleased to hear that difficult child expects to be able to buy point whenever he wants them. I had told difficult child that I would talk to his father about it, but not to expect anything. It was dad who set the once a month rule and he most probably not going to budge from it. Of course, that means that I love him a little because I said I would speak to his father about it, and his dad doesn't love him at all if he won't budge (which he already told me last night that he won't).
I hate the weekends.