Being watched

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by mrscatinthehat, Aug 16, 2008.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    for suicide. This time it is difficult child 2. Evidentally he wrote a letter to his dad and they read all outgoing mail from his lovely abode. He mentioned some things they told husband that indicated that he was thinking, planning suicide. He hadn't done any of this in quite some time. I believe it started last year about this time and ended when he did the stuff at the end of the year that got him into juvie. (Seeing biomom and then the molesting of the other child). Now it is starting again. I am not sure what it is about this time of year that gets him going. Because as I sit here and think this is the time of year he hurt easy child. This is the time of year he beat the **** out of me. Funny (not haha) how all these things can happen over the years (and so much more) but in the past I was always so worked up about everything that I was not necessarily thinking of all the details. I don't get as upset or worked up about these things anymore (not that I want it to happen but well I realize I can't control it if they do and I am not there to do anything to even if I could) so I am much more cognizant of the fact that a lot of this stuff starts in early to mid august and goes til after the holidays.

    I will have to chat with husband about it and pass it on to the folks at juvie (not that it will help but at least we are letting them know what we have noticed).

    husband just looked so down tonight. He told me he didn't want to tell me why. Ironic that I said oh ok and walked away and he is still dwelling heavily on it.

    Heaven help these kids because I don't know what else can at this point.

  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry that you are going through this again. It's hard that he seems to be repeating this year after year.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think there is a pattern to behavior. Some people seem to do better or worse at different times of the year. It is just their own internal triggering mechanism. One day maybe he will be able to figure out what it is that triggers him about this time of year and learn some coping skills to put the brakes on it.
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Beth, I'm thinking out loud here...

    Is this time of year the anniversary of something? The anniversary of when his birthmom walked out on him? Or maybe when another traumatic event happened?

    It's also when people prepare to go back to school- is school a time of high(er) anxiety for him?

    If he molested another kid, that usually indicates he was molested himself; could that have been at this time of year?

  5. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Ditto what Suz said. Sounds like something happened around this time of the year that he struggles with.

  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Wow Suz. You read my mind. I was wondering the same thing myself. And males are much less likely to ever admit to molestation than females.

    ((hugs)) Beth. I hope someone can get to the root of this behavior.
  7. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I can only give the people the info at this point. Maybe they listen maybe they don't. The one big problem with juvie. Parents don't really matter. At least that is how it works here.

  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh sweetie I am so sorry.
    I know for my difficult child the times of year are important, but it in general has to do with his BiPolar (BP). The more day light, as in summer, the more manic he gets.

    For me, I was sent away at age 16 on October 19th..........from that point on in my life, big events always happened during this time period for me throughout my life. I think somehow subconsciously that event has always remained ingrained in my soul, and I have made choices based on those unresolved feelings year after year.

    I swear, every single year, I have had something big happen - from my 2 marriages being in October (ten years apart), to my son being born on the 9th - to moving houses, new jobs, getting fired from jobs, hooking up with the wrong men. I mean, it is really surreal, and I do not live my life with things planned this way - but every Dec I look back, and go, WTH? Another huge life event in October.

    Anyway, I just think there is really something to it. But I am so, sorry difficult child is struggling so hard again.
  9. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I really don't know what to say - I just want you to know I'm thinking of you... Sending cyber hugs... WFEN